


Barbarism

by fluffy_catnjp



Series: barbarism [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Blood, Blood and Violence, Cults, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Technoblade-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Torture, Touch-Starved, oh god so much angst, there's too much angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:00:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 38
Words: 70,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28067424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffy_catnjp/pseuds/fluffy_catnjp
Summary: Techonoblade’s childhood ended at a young age when a cult worshiping the Blood God kidnapped him. The traumatic and permanent effects of his time in the cult made him grow up quickly, but not properly.He makes a tragic mistake that puts his entire new family in danger. Forcing him to self isolate himself.But when the same family he hid from comes seeking aid he finds himself unable to turn a blind eye to them. Though he doesn't realise just how desperate one of this brothers have become. And what they were willing to do.---Dream has suffered plenty in his life, now he seeks out entertainment in things most people would run from. So when he meets a pinkette that puts his life on the line several times, who can blame him for getting intrigued?
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Dave | Technoblade, Dave | Technoblade & Jschlatt, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Jschlatt/Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: barbarism [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2195178
Comments: 459
Kudos: 2466





	1. Chapter  1

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't my first fanfic. This IS however my first fanfic on this account.
> 
> My stories aren't the best, but they are fucked up. Because I an married to angst and disturbing shit.

_Footsteps bounce off the walls in silent echoes, short and sharp pants of a small child desperately staying as quiet as possible rings down the hallways. They dive behind another corner and collapse onto their knees, hands clasped around their mouth to muffle their heavy breathing._

_Down the hallway loud running thunders throughout the building, loud noises screeching out until the child has to bury their head into their knees to drown it out. Their chest rose and fell violently as shivers of fear rush deep inside their body in the form of adrenaline, trying to force the kid to start running again. The footsteps briefly pause, soft murmurs ring out against blocked ears._

_Please help me God please! Someone, anyone!_

_The pinkette prays inside their mind as they tighten further into a trembling ball. They felt like they were going to explode from all the swirling emotions building up inside. He could feel the fright along his brain, in his veins, under his skin. He begins to scratch frantically at his flesh in an attempt to scrape away all the emotions._

_Please!_

_The footsteps got louder and louder, the murmurs close in. The voices hum at the back of his head and creep outward, he shakes his head but they won't go away. The fog thickens and his head fills with cotton._

_Suddenly a hand lands on his shoulder and he jerks himself away, only to see black and white surrounding him. Red pours down pale hands, bones rattle on chains. Then all the noises dissolve._

**|||Technoblade POV|||**

His hands rake through the soft soil attempting to pluck out any lone roots that had remained after his harvest. He normally waited until after the rain had passed so the soil would be perfect for replanting his potatoes, it was these days of idle farming that had helped him feel a sense of tranquillity in his life.

Groaning he leans up from his crouching position and wipes his brow with his bare arm, white sleeves drew back like curtains to reveal a vast array of scars and other various battle wounds littering his skin. Technoblade had grown used to seeing them every day since the sun shone heavily in his part of the farmlands beyond the cities and kingdoms.

Sometimes the scars were harrowing to see, jagged pale marks crudely etched into his flesh, like chinks in a blade. The memories they brought upon him were not pleasant ones. They were memories that stuck to the back of his mind like droplets on a cobweb, woven deep into his conscious.

Technoblade glances up at the sky to locate the sun, breathing in the musky smell of damp dirt and water. The forest ahead of him was silently calling to him, it hummed a tune of little critters and dancing trees, but he couldn't let himself get distracted now.

He could sense something was amiss. He wasn't sure what it was or why he felt that way, it was a tingle of trepidation that kept him on his guard every day. It kept his axe glued to his waist morning and night, and his bow dangling from his back. Technoblade knew that his battles would never end, but he had seized control over his life and that was what mattered to him most: self-control.

Throwing a sack of potatoes over his shoulder, he leaves the fields to store the food for later use. Gazing absentmindedly to his left, back in the direction of the forest he scans the treeline for any suspicious activity. Although it was empty as usual the feeling remains a thorn in his side.

Technoblade threw the sack onto the concrete ground inside the shack, shoving his hands under the nearest tap, feeling cold water sweep the dirt and mud from his hands. He hadn't realised how hot the sun was until he finally was sheltered from the heat.

As he was mentally ticking off his to-do list a sudden thump of hooves thunders out from outside. He spins around and withdraws his axe from his side, crouching and peering out through a window to see who was there. His heart pounds in his chest rapidly as he sees two figures wandering just outside his fencing.

What he didn't expect was to see his two brothers tying their horses to his fencepost, he could tell they were talking as Tommy scans the area for him.

He stands up and opens the door loudly, making sure they heard it creak from behind them.

"T-techno?" Tommy spins around in excitement and smiles broadly, he dove at Technoblade with his arms open wide, tackling his older brother in a hug. Technoblade scowls at the physical contact but begrudgingly takes the hug without shoving Tommy away.

"Hey Technoblade, haven't seen you in a while, have we?" Wilbur was smiling from a distance while leaning on the fence, he only nods and ruffles Tommy's hair before finally shoving him back.

"It has been a while, I never expected either of you to show up here." His mouth twitches upward and he can feel himself smiling slightly, not bothering to hide it this time. "So what brings you guys here anyway? Are you here to tell me about your adventures or something?"

Wilbur tenses and the smile fades as quickly as it shows.

"What's wrong?"

"We're actually here because we need your help, you see we got exiled from our own nation and need to get it back," Wilbur speaks hesitantly, trying his best to sound as non-exigent as possible, but Technoblade had already gotten the gist of it.

"Are you serious?"

"What?" Wilbur was about to stop Tommy but he speaks too quickly, the question was more than enough to sour the entire atmosphere.

"You came all the way here after years of pretending I don't exist to get a favour from me?" Technoblade's blood begins to boil as his voice becomes more strained, his fingers tighten around the axe still cemented in his palm.

"Look, we had no other choice. We're homeless now Techno! We have nowhere to go! We were sure you'd help us." Wilbur's voice was borderline desperate as he steps closer to him, arms flung out wide.

"Life is full of endings and beginnings, it's best you learn to let things like this go, Wilbur." Technoblade frowned at his brother, the anguish in Wilbur's eyes causing a pain in his chest he desperately wanted to ignore. Technoblade falters briefly in his thoughts.

"I don't care about all that crap, I know life is unfair. But if life wants to throw shit at me I get the right to throw it back. I have human rights! I'm a man!" Tommy interrupts but Wilbur picked up his argument for him, stepping closer to Techno.

"Techno, we're your brothers, right? You must understand Lmanberg means more to us than our own lives. We are willing to die for Lmanberg and we will fight with or without your help." His eyes shone with obsessive willpower, it was almost too overwhelming for Technoblade. He steps back but Wilbur already had his hand on his shoulder, gently but enough to keep him still.

"Fight with us Techno, please!"

That thought had terrified him, going back into war. But a bigger more suppressed part of him thrived on the thought. It whispered that he stand and fight with them to spill the blood of their enemies.

**_'Like old times right Blade? You know how much we'd love it.'_ **

He mentally tells it to shut up and tries to deflect his brothers' eagerness. "I-I don't know if I can do this Wilbur-"

"You have to, it's what Dad would want-"

His vision flashes red and Wilbur is shoved back onto the ground, his eyes twitch and his mouth curls into a heavy frown, "I dare you to bring up Dad again, I fucking dare you!" Technoblade grabs Wilbur by the collar and pulls him face to face, eyes burning a hole into his brother's.

"I thought you would want to help us, Techno..." Tommy was looking at him with big and sad eyes, but that frustrated Technoblade even more- that his brother was trying to guilt-trip him.

Or maybe he was asking too much from them, maybe he was the one at fault. Sometimes his emotions were hard to understand, he didn't express himself the way he wanted to in social situations.

"You guys know how hard it was for me to control us, what happened. Why do you expect this to be different? Why should I do that to myself again?!" He snarls and pushes his brother back, taking several steps away to distance himself from his brothers, he can see the fear in their eyes- he knew he was being way too aggressive, as per usual.

He growls and slams his fist against the shack's stone wall behind him, feeling it crack under his skin. Some of his tension leaked out onto the cold grey and he tried to focus back onto his brothers.

They looked back with pleading eyes.

"Just let me think for a bit, please..."


	2. Chapter 2

_His arms were frozen in place, a long rope draped around his skin like bars of a cage. Warm liquid trickles down his pounding head, dripping onto the concrete below in a slow, rhythmic tune. A tune that was driving him insane._

_How long has he been here? The scent of blood and rot no longer bothers him, the darkness envelops him in a disgusting warmth he wants to itch off his skin._

_Although his eyes are wide open nothing reaches them, the black paints circles and patterns over his vision, images he doesn't want to see._

_Why him? Wasn't he just another creature like all of them?_

_He knows he isn't alone- their whispers and prayers echo from the corners of the room, sending painful tremors tearing through his body like lightning bolts. He couldn't understand what they were saying, but something in his head did._

_He wasn't alone_ _**alone** _ _wasn't his_ _**mind** _ _\- he wasn't alone in his mind, he feels something lurking there now. Like removing a person from a photograph their shadow and silhouette still linger._

_Whatever it was it speaks to him, it hums songs of blood and destruction to him, it sings about death and sacrifice._

_It also promises to rescue him from this hellhole, to give him the power needed to break the chains._

**_"Humans are so cruel aren't they?"_ ** _It hums again._

_"Who are you?"_

**_"I am something you will never fully comprehend. I am a part of you and you are a part of me. Together we make the Blood God."_ **

|||Technoblade POV|||

Technoblade storms through the forest with an aura of frustration, causing even the toughest of creatures to scamper away. His cape flickers resentfully with him, flowing behind in a river of fiery red. The hilt of his axe suffocates under his aggravated temper, twitching with the urge to swing.

He felt betrayed, he felt angry, but most importantly he felt conflicted. His desires clash with his needs, guilt overwhelms his want for a peaceful life. Technoblade felt like he was at war with himself, but it all boils down to one question.

Should he put his brothers above himself?

He had always hated his title; The Blade. It made him feel hideous- like a weapon to be used. It made him feel disgusting and foul, the blood consuming his body like stains on a sword, malleable yet broken, hammered down to fit the mould of the Blood God.

**_'You're acting like you are above me, you can't be above a part of yourself. Embrace me and your thirst.'_ **

His hands tremble and he grips the wood tighter, memories of the incident creeping through his mind like ivy. He hisses loudly through clenched teeth and swings his axe against a tree, feeling the bark cry under the netherite.

His mind was murmuring again. It was talking again again again again. It was the distant hum in the back of his mind that made him swing again and again. Technoblade's entire body trembles and shakes with white searing anger.

"Shut up SHUT UP!" The last swing causes the tree to fall, but it falls on deaf ears. Technoblade pants despite his full lungs, he feels cold sweat cling to his body like a layer of wet fur, weighing him down.

The voice terrified him. Technoblade couldn't bring himself to refer to it as it was: the Blood God. Something about that name makes his skin crawl, how such a wicked force was bound to him. The things it tells him fills his mind like water, it drowns him until nothing else matters. He had been changed in irreversible ways.

A branch snaps ahead of him and Techno's body jolts upward, axe already held to his side in a radiant violet. His eyes scan the surroundings but no one steps out.

"Come out here now, only cowards hide in the shadows." Technoblade's voice resounds as he grips the wood tightly in his hand, raising it next to his face to hopefully scare away whoever was there, but all he was greeted with was quiet laughter.

"I'm finding the dark rather chill right now, so I think I won't." The voice was mischievous and taunting, "plus with the way you were acting earlier I'm worried I'll lose half my face."

Another snap of a branch and Techno swings his axe against the tree next to the shadow, splinters shooting in all directions.

"No one willingly goes around these areas, I made sure of that. Who are you?" Technoblade growls under his breath and yanks the axe out of the trunk. Eyes now focused on a thin but tall figure of a man.

"I'm just some guy passing through, couldn't help but hear your mental breakdown over here."

"I wasn't having a mental breakd-"

Cold fingers brush along the back of his neck and Technoblade spins around to catch someone ducking behind a tree, on impulse he swings his axe toward the figure only to have it bury itself into another poor tree.

The shadow moves as fluidly as a dancer, dashing towards him the moment his axe embeds into the trunk, hands clasping around his wrist and forcefully shoving him back from his weapon. Techno hits the ground with a groan as he reaches for his backup weapon, only to have his arm pinned behind his back and shoved back down.

Technoblade curses his sluggish and sleep-deprived reflexes as he tried to kick the person above him, but somewhere along their wrestling, his braid loosens and strands of hair spill over his face, blocking his vision.

The figure above him grins from ear to ear, a thin black line curving along a white mask. He scowls at the crooked drawing of a smiley face, the hood surrounding their mask in a blanket of deep verdant. Tuffs of blonde hair poke out behind the mask like dirty clumps of hay, loosely hanging above Techno.

"Alright so are you willing to answer some of my questions? Mister Pinkie." The voice had returned to a taunting tone, and Techno narrows his eyes even more, mentally swearing at the frustrating nickname.

"Don't call me that."

"You aren't in a place to make demands, Pinkie."

Technoblade locates where his axe was, still sticking out of a nearby tree across from them, before looking back up at the stranger. "Alright fine, what do you want to know?" He would play along for now.

"I want to know who you are and why you were talking to yourself before."

"I'm just some guy passing through," he mocks the tone the masked man had used earlier, "before I got assaulted by some creep in a mask."

The man scoffs and tightens his grip around his wrists, "you're lying, I know you are."

"I'm really not, even if I was it doesn't matter to you anyway."

"Do you live around here?" He ignores Technoblade's remark and throws another question at him, though he really didn't want to give out his location details.

All he needs to do is distract the man even for a second, he thinks for a moment about his moves before settling on obfuscating him.

"I'm not going to tell you anything, you big porcelain nerd."

"Did you just call me a... porcelain nerd?" The man seems confused and Technoblade feels his grip loosen slightly, enough to urge him into action.

His hands wrap around the other's wrists and he used his leg to kick theirs off the ground, using the imbalance to flip the guy over. A small gasp of shock underneath him urged him to strike to kill. Techno ignores it and launches himself back, swiftly ripping his axe from the spot he had left it.

Brushing loose strands of hair behind his ear, he cautiously eyes the man as they stood up and swept the dirt off their green hoodie.

What he didn't expect was the man to start laughing, a dry laugh that sounded extremely painful, almost like a death rattle.

"Why are you laughing?" Technoblade holds his axe in front of him, wood rested against his chest.

"I never expected that! It was just so random that I- Just give me a moment please-" After a moment or two of wheezing the man straightens himself up and calms down, mask staring back in an unnerving broad smile.

"So?"

"Call me Dream, I just heard some shouting so I went to investigate," he glances absentmindedly at the fallen log on the grass, "I didn't expect to see a psycho talking to himself!"

This so-called Dream shoves his hands into his front pockets seemingly radiating a positive vibe, yet Technoblade was no fool, his weapon still ready for action if needed. The way the man had fought before was more than enough warning to keep his guard up.

"Are you perhaps planning on attacking me again?"

"C'mon Pinkie you're being unfair. I'm actually here for two other people but fate brought us together."

His mind snaps into alert mode, "two people? Who are you talking about?"

"You know them?" The man pauses in his movement and stares suspiciously at Technoblade.

If he was talking about his brothers then he would have to ask them later about Dream, until then he needed his brothers to be safe. "Lay a single finger on them and I will cut your throat."

Dream raises his hands in mock submission as if he didn't believe a word Technoblade had just uttered, "sure whatever."

Technoblade sighs and leans against the tree behind him, fingers brush the bleeding bark he had destroyed. He had no idea why Dream was seeking his brothers.

He rubs his face in exasperation, he hadn't slept in a while and he was a bit more out of it than usual. Luckily _i_ _ **t**_ had vanished, as well as it's influence.

"You're a pig hybrid, right?"

Techno growls at the remark with revulsion, "why does that matter? As far as you're concerned I'm just another guy."

Dream rests against a nearby tree and inspects his fingernails, feigning boredom. "It's just my first time seeing a pig hybrid and it's a bit surprising, to say the least. They aren't common and I'd know who you were if you were from around my land."

"Piglin, actually-" The words tumble out of him before he can stop them, he panics and tries to come up with a logical reason for why he did that. Was he that out of it? It's not like there was a massive difference between Piglins and pig hybrids, besides one being more violent. But he was never one to reveal much about himself.

Dream raises his head at him, before gingerly moving on. "So how do you know about those two idiots?"

"Friends of mine."

"You must be lying- no one can bear those two, let alone be friends with them."

He sighs and puts his forehead against his hand, he could feel a headache coming, "I'm leaving."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just finding my boundaries with my new friend!"

"Friend?" Techno's ears flick up as he glances back up at Dream, who had walked a bit closer to rest on the log laying on the grass. He had no idea what Dream's motive was in all this, did he seriously just find Technoblade interesting or was it something else? Did he know about him?

"Yeah, you should feel honoured in a way, I don't find many people interesting enough to consider friends-"

"I'll pass."

Dream huffs and slouches, Technoblade could tell he was pouting under his mask.

"If I give you information would you be friends with me?"

"What kind of information?" He could feel his ears subconsciously flick again and he focuses on not giving away any emotion. He didn't talk to many people so he was rusty on his body language.

"Assuming the people I'm talking about are the people you are talking about, of course, I think you might want to know what Wilbur is really like. I've spent a decent amount of time with him recently, probably more than you actually. People change..."

What was Dream's motive here? Why was he bringing up Wilbur?

"I don't need you to interfere with what happens between us." Technoblade would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit curious, but not enough to believe anything from Dream. He just hopes that Wilbur would trust him enough the way he is now.

"I'm just trying to warn you, I'm actually here because I wanted to talk with your buddy-"

"I suggest you leave then."

"Pinkie, you're being unnecessarily rude."

He almost felt pity for the man, he was coming off as desperate and clingy.

"-Well whatever you decide I'm sure we'll meet again, knowing _him_ at least."

"What do you mean by that?" Technoblade turns around to face Dream but he had already scampered off into the darkness again.


	3. Chapter 3

|| **|Technoblade POV|||**

Technoblade had finally concluded that he was going to help his brothers out.

Regardless of his well being, he would never be able to forgive himself if he left his family defenseless and alone.

So he begrudgingly trudges back to his house, knowing that they would still be there waiting for him. He looks up at the sky as oranges and pinks bleed into the dying night. Animals start to shuffle around, insects begin to chatter among themselves. Normally the sun would bring warmth but the cold chill never left his body.

The lights of his house had been snuffed out overnight but he could still see two silhouettes outside on the porch. Tommy had fallen asleep while he was absent, sitting in a rather uncomfortable position by the entrance- most likely trying to stay awake until Technoblade had returned. But next to him Wilbur was as wide awake as ever, staring directly into Technoblade's eyes, an expression of restlessness painted across his straining features.

"So have you decided yet?" He ruffles Tommy's hair and looks up at him with expectant eyes.

"I'll help you two with whatever you need me for." Technoblade looks down at the ground, not feeling any better.

"Good, I knew you wouldn't _disappoint_ us." Wilbur grins widely, teeth glinting dangerously.

"..."

\----

"So what is your plan exactly?"

"We need to get back Lmanberg. we should've won that election with our votes, so surely the citizens would side with us when push comes to shove!" Wilbur smirks and wildly waves his hands in the air as if he was painting an image. "I think we should put our priorities on Schlatt, he doesn't deserve presidency and I plan on knocking him down a few pegs- maybe permanently."

Technoblade briefly wonders if Wilbur meant himself or if he would try to get _him_ to overthrow Schlatt with force.

"I see. So are you after an assassination? Or a full-on war?" Technoblade prods at the venison in front of him, using his fork to tear pieces off. Still running on an empty stomach and no sleep, he sighs and slouches further onto the table.

"We need a war, if we just assassinate him and take power with fear the people won't trust us-"

"What if we tried to arrange a meeting with Schlatt and talk out our returning... This isn't how we should go about this." Tommy interrupts them, which only caused Wilbur to scoff and glare at his younger brother.

"There's no way that would work, Tommy. Think about it, he wanted us GONE! He threw us out after he won- after he STOLE it from us." Wilbur slammed his hands on the table, causing Tommy to flinch backward. He quickly catches note of this and immediately backs down, resting his forehead into his palms. "I'm sorry Tommy, I'm so sorry."

Technoblade notices as Tommy tries to stop his trembling and resume his point, stuttering over his words, "You never know until try... plus now that Blade's here we can use him as a method of pressuring Schlatt. R-right?"

He frowns to himself and takes a small bite of his meal, that word was being thrown around a lot recently and he didn't appreciate it.

"Before you guys go off on any important plans we first sort out our other problems," he interrupts them, "unless you guys have supplies and weapons stashed somewhere we'll need to get some."

"We have swords and you that's all we need-" Wilbur tries to retort but Technoblade's already prepared for their arguing.

"-What about food and shields? How about potion supplies or even bows?" Techno pressures them until they crack, both of them shaking their heads. "Look guys I know you want to earn this Lman-thing back and stuff, but we can't do it unarmed."

"You're right I guess," Wilbur mumbles to himself, obviously still set on staging the coup as soon as possible.

"Alright, so if you guys want my help, listen to what I'm going to say now."

They spent a while discussing what they would need and Technoblade was able to come up with a list of important supplies. He sent Tommy out to mine whatever ore he could find while sending Wilbur out to hunt. He didn't want Tommy using a weapon until he had observed his skills, Wilbur on the other hand seemed far more reliable in that regard. Meanwhile Techno had given himself the job of going to the nether, knowing that out of the three of them, he would be best suited for venturing through the fiery wastelands.

Technoblade hoped planned a swift expedition, but sadly the nearest public portal was furtherfrom here than he had though, as well as being in the general direction of Lmanberg. Since he was going near his brother's enemy lines, he equips himself with his axe, bow, and knife before venturing out.

The forest this way was far darker than his farmlands, the trees were giant nets catching any source of sunlight that couldn't reach the lush grass underneath. The hum of the other dimension called to him, vibrating the air with strong energy. He hadn't been to his homeland in a while. Despite having no memories before his tribe was attacked and he was taken, the nether was always comforting to him in a way. Even if the memories weren't there, the feelings were.

A faint purple aura bounces off the grass as the glimmer from the portal reveals specks of dancing dust in the air. The entire place reeks of magic. Though when he arrived at the end of the trail he was unpleasantly surprised with what he found.

His eyes land on two people at the portal's entrance, the one with the green hoodie standing out to him immediately. He grumbles under his breath at his unlucky encounter and crouches, stalking closer to the pair to observe.

The one Dream was talking to was dressed in a black suit, but Technoblade froze when he saw the man's head.

The suited man stood tall and proud, his two horns curling around his head, a ring around two ram-like ears poking out the sides of his head. Technoblade's grip on his axe went slack and he faults in his movement. How long had it been since he could talk to a hybrid like him?

Should he interrupt? He needed to get through but Dream would surely pester and stop him. Not to mention the ram hybrid could end up being just as dangerous -or more dangerous- than Dream.

Time for his favourite method of negotiation.

He takes a back route and zones in on them while they were still chatting loudly, axe firmly glued under his fingers as he got closer and closer... until he struck. Launching out of cover from the trees and grabbing Dream by the hood, dragging him back and immediately placing his axe against his neck with the hovering threat to slice it open.

The horned man backs off but as Technoblade suspected he didn't run away, obviously whatever they were talking about was important.

"Mind if I join this conversation?"

Dream looks at him out of the corner of his eye, and Technoblade swears he felt him smiling.

|||Schlatt POV|||

The pink-haired man had leaped from the trees so suddenly that he couldn't even react in time, Dream was pulled back to blade point with what seemed to be a glowing purple axe, Schlatt's eyes landed on the rare ore with interest, before looking at the man himself.

His eyes focus on the pinkette and took in the rather elegant selection of clothing, a crimson cloak stops short just above the ankles, a white shirt tucked messily into black pants. As well as a small golden crown hanging from his belt. That looks like real gold- was this man asking to be robbed?

The man himself was also a sight to behold, a pink river of hair flowing down his shoulders to his waist. His eyes were a quivering red that put the most vivid of roses to shame, but what stood out to Schlatt the most were the pig ears drawn back in distaste, and the two small tusks poking out from under his bottom lip.

Not wanting to lose this chance of a successful deal with Dream, Schlatt immediately puts his hands into the air and backs off, wanting to come off as non-threatening to the other hybrid. This seemed to work as the piglin hybrid relaxes, the axe was moderately tilted back from Dream's neck, revealing a thin dotting line of red.

At least he assumes it was a piglin hybrid, his ears were much more pointed than pig ears. And he definitely wasn't going to check for a tail now.

"I hope you are willing to answer some of my questions, at the cost of your dear friend here of course." His voice was flat, revealing no emotion, even the hybrid's eyes were narrowed and on guard. Not a problem for Schlatt though, he had worked with secluded types of people before. He prouded himself with how good he was at bargaining, the mere cost of some answers was no problem to him at all.

"Sure, just please don't kill my friend, I kind of need him ya'know?" He chuckled inside at Dream being held hostage, a sight he never thought he would be blessed to see in his life.

"Who are you?"

The pinkette was not from around here if he didn't know of Schlatt, he would be able to use this to his advantage. "You haven't heard of me? Kind of a powerful dude around here."

The axe was pressed further against Dream's neck as blood begins to trickle down, but surprisingly enough Dream wasn't shaking or trying to fight back. He had an aura of nonchalance and confidence.

"That's not exactly helpful, anyone can call themselves 'powerful' but you don't seem to be right now. " His voice was rather monotonous for someone who was threatening murder, so Schlatt assumed he had killed before. A warrior maybe? Or a leader of some kind considering the outfit. No king would venture out here but that was definitely a real gold crown-

"I'm the President."

Schlatt notices how the man pauses and stops moving for a moment, a brief flash of an unidentifiable emotion in his eyes. But his ears also perked up, a subconscious sign of curiosity. Schlatt also had to deal with his own subconscious signals before, but he had continously practiced keeping his ears and tail still. Deciding to pressure the pinkette a bit more he steps forward very slowly.

"There's no need for this day to end in violence, right? I mean we're on the same side technically, us hybrids gotta stick together-"

"That has nothing to do with this, is your name Schlatt?"

He paused, eyebrow raised suspiciously- even Dream stares up at the pinkette after that remark, "yes that is my name, how do you know that?"

The man seems very preoccupied with thought, glaring at Schlatt through narrowed eyes and pressing the axe deeper into Dream's neck. Schlatt is confused at the sudden hostility, he had assumed that this man had never heard of him before, considering he didn't know he was president.

"There's no need to kill me because you hate him or something, c'mon we became best friends last night, right Pinkie?" Dream's voice has a slight quiver to it, but he remains as passive as always.

"Let me through the portal!" He blurts out and pulled the axe back from the bleeding throat.

"Huh?"

"I'm not in the mood for chit chat, let me pass through before I force my way through."

And to think the fun part was just starting, Schlatt was immensely disappointed that he wasn't going to get his mental warfare today with this strange fellow, though regardless he counted the safety of Dream a win in his book.

"Sure!" He chirped

Dream was shoved towards him but Schlatt was too focused on the man striding towards the portal, fingers brushing the edge of his axe to examine the blood. He notices the mix of disgust and thirst in the hybrid's eyes as he eyes the blood-stained fingers, wiping them on his cloak. The pinkette stops to stare back at him, his expression reveals little, but Schlatt could tell the man wants to ask more questions. Light from the portal reflected off the man's now glowing eyes as he stepped into the purple pulsating energy, vanishing from view.

Dream suddenly curses and rubs his throat, Schlatt looks down at him confused.

"That's one point for him, we're tying now." He stated as if that gave Schlatt any more context between the two.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wrote the wrong number, thought I posted the wrong chapter- overthought it and freaked out. deleted it but it was the right chapter.
> 
> stonks

_ He stares down at the bodies underneath him. Their black robes stained even darker as blood slowly trickles off the fabric like droplets on leaves. Their hideous bones litter the floor, gleaming a faint red from the puddles around him. He could still hear their screams, their faces froze open. Some were pathetically crying out in their last moments, while others wore manic grins. _

_ Why did he do this again? Everything was hazy. _

_ He was sure the Blood God had persuaded him to do this- so could it even be considered his fault? But he had agreed to it, so it  _ **_was_ ** _ his fault. His mind laps at the regret puddling in his heart, this was his fault! Did he mess up, was this not even the right choice? His minds were so conflicted, like comparing black to white _ -

**_'Our minds? My mind is yours now. We aren't separate, we are one entity, what I desire is what you desire.You wanted this.'_ **

__

_ Why did this hurt so much if this is what he wanted? _

__

_ No! This isn’t what he wanted! He wanted to be home, wherever that was. He wanted to be sitting with his family and laughing, what would that even feel like? _

_ His laughter comes out wretched and in sobs, the pinkette sounds just as pathetic as the corpses surrounding him. His mind races to picture somewhere else, maybe his home? All he remembers was how hot his home was, the bright hot colors. Red like the blood on his hands, he stares at them before wrapping his arms around himself. He could almost imagine someone was hugging him. _

_ Why did he want this? It made him scared, and sick, like he was about vomit. _

_ He grabs his head and mutters under his breath, this wasn’t right, this shouldn’t be what he craves. But his mouth waters at the sight of blood and his stomach skips at the smell of flesh. They were right, he was a monster, he shouldn’t be alive right now- it wasn’t what he deserved. _

**_'You are longing for things you don’t need, family and love are just weaknesses.’_ **

__

_ The Blood God was his only family. The only person he could ever trust, it talked to him during his painful nights in the room, it told him jokes and laughed with him. It even promised to help him get revenge on the humans enacting violence on him. _

__

_ It was the first person that he could rely on, that he felt safe with. So he listened to the Blood God. _

__

_ He killed them all. _

__

_ Now he was no longer tied down, he was no longer on the run nor was he scared for his life. Now the pinkette was the one hurting them. He towers over them in the ruins they made. His blade spilled their blood and sliced their necks. _

__

_ All the while the voice smirked, he could feel it smirking. Or maybe it was proud of him, was it proud of him? He didn't know or care, he just wanted to feel safe and loved. How hard was that? Why did the world give him such a pitiful life? _

|||Technoblade's POV|||

The blue wood dimly flickers at Technoblade as he brushes his fingers along its rough surface. Behind him a churning chorus of popping lava and whimpering sand echoes throughout the forest. He hadn't seen a nether biome in a long time, his head rests on the tree and takes a deep breath of the hot air suffocating him.

Here was safe. The fire that twists and the sapphire vines that coil around smoke in the uphill breeze, that was a home he had forgotten. The soft but prickly grass tickling his hooves, mushrooms poking out like sore thumbs among the field of cyan, all of it was home.

Behind him, the portal buzzes in anticipation, emitting a fluorescent gleam that casts long shadows along the terrain. Slouching over Technoblade's shoulder was a leather bag filled with all the supplies he had come here to gather. But he was still hesitant in returning to the overworld just yet, if at all. He thinks back to everything that happened there, finger tracing circles on the bark.

Technoblade thinks of everything he's sacrificed by leaving here, and everything that is bound to happen in the future.

Shaking his head Technoblade leans back up frowns deeply.

He didn't want to worry his brothers though, they didn't deserve that. Despite the feeling of self-pity and despair in his gut, he steps into the pulsating energy. First, his hands melt away, then his arms and chest. The pure energy merges with him and carries him away with a soothing purple embrace.

Then Technoblade's blindness peels away to a deep, lush forest blended with meadows of susurrating grass and rushing rivers. His ears pop and the sound of tall oak trees with their swaying branches flood into his head. Life in the overworld moves slowly, the sun far vanished from sight.

"Wilbur?"

His gaze lands on his brother, who leans against the obsidian, also staring far out. In his brother’s fists were a bow and black pelted rabbit dangling by the ears. Despite his large brown coat blood was still visible underneath, an ugly red patch on dusty grey. Technoblade swallows down his rising inclination.

"Hey Techno, good to see you’ve returned safely. I just wanted to walk back with you to make sure you knew where to go." Technoblade is a bit hurt by the trace of suspicion heard in Wilbur's voice, but chooses to ignore it anyway.

The gravel underfoot crunches as they wander their way back home, the only sounds were the rustles of owls and the cricketing of insects. Surprisingly though Wilbur was the first to break the uncomfortable silence between the two.

"So... uh, how have you been Techno? We haven't heard from you before this all happened, we weren't sure you were even alive!" He chuckles at the last part, but the melancholy of the statement remains the same.

"It's been fine, brought myself a piece of farmland far out from here, been planting potatoes ever since..." He trails off, eyebrows scrunching up distastefully.

"You know we don't blame you for what happened to Philza right?"

Technoblade stops dead in his tracks after hearing the name, unwanted memories clinging to it like a bacteria. He feels his heart beat faster as he struggles to continue moving forward, half-heartedly shrugging his shoulders.

"I know, don't bother bringing it up again it's a bit of a mood killer."

"This is serious Techno! You can’t keep avoiding him forever, you need to talk it out. I can't have you unable to-"

"No, I DON'T!" His anger shoots out of his throat involuntarily, it ricochets off the nearby trees like bullets, stunning the forest into silence as he grabs his face with his hand.

Technoblade couldn't handle this right now, his frustration and hopelessness were beginning to sear within his veins like lava. It claws at his nerves with an overwhelming sense of anger. Techno squeezes his eyes shut and begins to mutter under his breath. It was too much. He could feel every part of his shell fracture away, it was too much. His mind barely registers what sounds like a laugh as Wilbur drops everything he holds, pulling Technoblade into a hug.

His arms were ice, it smothers the inferno that was tearing Technoblade apart.

Technoblade hugs back.

|||Dream POV|||

Dream hates research.

He's more of a street smart guy, albeit smarter than the average rogue and criminal, but regardless he preferred strategy and combat over pure intelligence.

But after he learned of the pinkette he found himself wanting to know more about the man. They only met twice and his life was on the line each time, it was a type of dangerous excitement he hadn't felt in a long time. There's only so much one man can do in his life until it becomes mundane.

Dream laughs to himself as he eyes the papers in front of him, leg lazily swinging from the wooden chair as he scans the legal document for a signature of the man. He had decided to figure out his name first, so Dream had sought out any information about him from the local business owners- he was lucky to find a lead on the sixth dealer!

Muffled noises arose next to Dream, he glances over at the man he had tied up in the corner of the room. Soaking in the fear they were experiencing with sadistic glee. Their eyes were wide, glistening like silver coins with what Dream assumes were tears. The curtains had been pulled shut so no one could peer inside and see what was going on. 

"So this is the legit document, right?" Dream spoke in a dangerously low tone, a glint of suspicion evident in his eyes. He taps the paper with his knife to simultaneously inflict more fear and show what he was referring to.

The man quickly nods his head and Dream glances back down at the purchase receipt.

Technoblade.

Apparently, the pinkette had purchased farmland far east from here, that was near where they met. His name was scribbled down rather messily for someone who was dressed like royalty. Dream finally had a name to the face! Now all he had to do was go around and ask people about a hybrid named Technoblade, which was easy enough. With enough violence, any question would be answered.

He stifles a yawn and rises from the chair, striding towards the man before tearing off the cloth gag he had shoved in earlier.

"Answer my questions and you’ll walk out of this house alive, understood?”

"Y-yes! I‘ll tell you anything I promise! Just please don't hurt me I have a famil-"

"I don't care about that," Dream waves him off and huffs at the pitiful man trembling under him.

"Tell me everything you know about this man here,” he shoves the paper in front of the man and waits for him to read it. After a few moments he freezes, eyes beginning to widen as his breathing heavies, Dream is taken aback by the sudden increase in the man's stress as he begins to tug at the rope around his wrists.

"Tell me everything you know." He repeats himself impatiently.

“Stay away from it! You don’t want to get involved with that thing! It will kill you and feast on your blood, it-it will-” His words come out in jumbles as he begins to squirm at his bindings, "please don't involve me with The Blade! PLEASE!"

"The Blade?"

"It's a demon from the depths of hell! An embodiment of the Blood God!"

The man talks more rushed until he sounds borderline insane, Dream crouches down and gently runs his knife across the man's throat, he immediately quietens, sobs still shuddering through his body.

"Unless you want me to kill you now you better start saying everything."


	5. Chapter 5

|||Technoblade POV|||

“Are you still going on about that stupid idea of yours Tommy?”  
  
"I’m not going to let this go until you guys actually bother to listen to me!”  
  
"It’s useless to schedule a meeting with the guy who exiled us, Schlatt won’t do shit!” Wilbur slams the table in front of him, causing the glasses to bounce momentarily.  
  
"We don't know until we try, right Blade?" Tommy casts a pleading glance over at Technoblade, who crouches in the corner of the room rummaging through the chests. He hadn’t intended to get himself involved with their arguing but he figures that it wasn’t going to get anywhere unless he intervenes.  
  
"Maybe we should try Tommy’s idea, if things go south we can always use your plan as a backup." He vaguely smirks as he pulls out the mushroom he was looking for and glances up at them, “we don’t have to resort to violence straight away.”  
  
Tommy fist pumps the air and grins at Wilbur in victory, who has his forehead in his palms.  
  
"Techno there's no way you're siding with _Tommy_ , right?"  
  
"I don't see why not, let's try to pacifist route this time round." He jokes and saunters over to the darkest part of the cave, burying the roots of the mushroom under the soil he had brought in earlier.  
  
"Alright but how are we supposed to do that then? It's not like we can just walk on in and throw a fucking party!"  
  
"Tubbo could help us.”  
  
Technoblade furrows his brow in confusion at the unfamiliar name while Wilbur pauses in his thoughts, almost glaring at Tommy.  
  
"We can't trust him, he's on their side!"  
  
"I can talk him into it, we’re best friends! I know he will listen to me, you just need to trust him!” Tommy exclaims desperately as he tries to convince Wilbur.

Wilbur seems deep in thought when Technoblade decides to finally interrupt their bickering and join them at the table "Let's just walk up to the border and get their attention, I can be your bodyguard."

“But that’s dangerous, they could attack us for being there!” Tommy is staring at Technoblade with wide eyes as if he couldn’t believe his ears.

“As long as you don’t cross the borderline they can’t punish you. You do know how borders work right?” Technoblade laughs to himself as Tommy blushes in embarrassment and nods furiously.  
  
“O-of course I know that! I’m a smart man!” 

“Sure, I totally believe you.” Technoblade waves him off and faces Wilbur, “you trust me to protect you guys, right?”

Wilbur and Tommy both contemplate this before coming to a mutual agreement.  
  
"You're really serious about this, huh Tommy?" Wilbur looks defeated as he leans back in his chair, eyes glued to the ceiling.  
  
He viciously nods at Wilbur's question, eyes determined as ever.  
  
“I guess I won't be able to stop you then.”   
  
Technoblade sighs and rises from his seat, heading to his designated room to grab his axe. His hands glide on the rough rock covered walls, dust collecting on his fingertips. He missed his old house, Wilbur had dragged him to a cavine they had found near Lmanberg to set up base, with his house unattended anyone could break in. Not that anyone would dare do that, most people quake at the mere mention of his name. Though sometimes he wonders if that's a good thing.

‘ _ **Of course it’s a good thing, I heard people bleed more when they are scared.’**_

“I don’t recall asking you shit.”

 _'_ **_If you were anyone else right now you would be killed for talking to me like that. Sometimes you forget how much influence I have on you, Techie.’_ **

“Don’t call me that, you don’t deserve to use that nickname!” Technoblade growls, only one person was able to call him that. It was just trying to piss him off, get him angry so he would have less self control.

**_‘And look how that is working out, huh?’_ **

-  
  
Dirt crunches underfoot as his brothers make their way towards Lmanberg, Technoblade lagging a few steps behind his brothers. He was still slightly hesitant about going there, what if’s were racing through his mind and giving him anxiety. What if they attacked? What if he would have to spill blood? What if Dream was there. 

His fingers tic every few seconds from the stress as his eyes scan the surrounding area the closer they get to the border. The air was thick with worry, his brothers obviously still just as anxious about the meeting they were going to try and provoke. 

Technoblade couldn't help but feel proud of Tommy, taking a stand like this and moving forward in spite of being scared. Despite the teasing his younger brother was maturing rather quickly. Though a part of Technoblade felt regretful. He felt regretful about how he wasn’t there with his brothers when they were struggling, that he hid like a coward when he failed to keep control.

He didn't want Tommy to be forced to grow up and miss out an important part of his childhood. Technoblade wasn’t that knowledgeable in having childhoods, but if his life was any sort of indicator he knew that he didn’t want Tommy to end up like him.  
  
Up ahead Wilbur suddenly crumbles to his knees and Tommy recoils with a wail. Technoblade snaps into alert mode before restlessly jogging up to join them. His eyes follow theirs until they land on the ruins in front of them.  
  
Cracked blackstone bricks litter the dirt underneath them, splinters of logs and planks stick out the ground like thorns on a bush. Technoblade could tell immediately that these were remains of a wall, he glances back at the devastated pair.

Tommy is lowering at the remains with the most revolted expression he had ever seen on his younger sibling. His mouth is tight and quivering while his sapphire eyes shimmer with a translucent layer of tears. Wilbur on the other hand was just as concerning, if not, more disturbing of a reaction.  
  
Wilbur is motionless, muscles frozen in an expression of detachment. His face so still that it could be mistaken for a painting. His hands curl into fists in the grass, ripping the lush green from the land. His clothes are coated with the black dust and splinters but he doesn’t seem to notice, Technoblade is about to go comfort his brothers when a voice resonates from ahead of them.  
  
"What are you guys doing back here?" The trio turn to see a figure walking towards them, a fluffy orange tail swishing behind them. Technoblade was surprised with the amount of hybrids he had seen, normally they had to isolate themselves from society in tribes and clans.  
  
"Why the fuck are YOU here?" Tommy hisses and rushes forward to punch the fox hybrid, but on instinct Technoblade steps forward and grabs him, tugging him back to protect the man in front of them. 

Why did he do that?

He put some random hybrid’s safety over- no that’s not it. He just didn’t want his brother to instigate anything he couldn’t back up. That was the reason. His animalistic mind had no control over his actions, that was it’s side.

The fox looks up at Technoblade with a perplexed look, eyeing him carefully. “I’m on patrol and heard noise from here.” His skin crawls at the eyes trailing across his body, he feels unnatural, like he didn’t belong. 

He begins to reach for a weapon behind his back but Wilbur interrupts them both. He had stood up from where he had collapsed, apathy stitched across his face.

"Fundy we are here to negotiate with Schlatt, we aren't going to cross the border or fight with you."  
  
Fundy stares at Wilbur with an unreadable expression, "we'll need to sort it out and register you first, until then please vacate the area before I call for backup."  
  
"No please don't send us away Fundy! Please let us do the meeting today!" Tommy stumbles on his words, desperately begging the fox he had tried to assault a few moments ago. Fundy looks conflicted, gaze bouncing from each of them.  
  
"I mean I guess... I could try... but I don't know if it would work!" He spoke hesitantly, now looking like he wanted to hide from them. Technoblade couldn’t blame him, sometimes his brothers were rather overwhelming. He had been with them for years and even he still had trouble with it, though that might be a him problem.  
  
"Go talk to your higher ups and we'll wait here for the response, we promise not to step over the borderline until your return.” Technoblade speaks up and suggests the most peaceful solution he could think of.  
  
Both of his brothers look like they want to protest, so he shoots a glare at them to silence them.  
  
"O-okay! That works too I guess!" Tommy stutters and Technoblade stops glaring, instead focusing it on Fundy who was already nodding absentmindedly and walking away.  
  
-  
  
It takes at least ten minutes before Fundy returns, this time accompanied by a smug guy in a beanie, his arms cross as he stops a few feet away from them, "look what the fox dragged in, why are you guys here? Ready to beg for forgiveness?"  
  
"Quackity we aren't here to fight, we're here to bargain with you."  
  
"You guys don't have much to offer, what do you even want? To return? Everyone here hates you y'know." He smirks and brushes off Wilbur’s offer with a wave of a hand.  
  
"That's not true!" Tommy yells and impulsively tries to throw another fist at Quackity, but Technoblade was quicker. He grabs Tommy by the collar and yanks him away once again before he could do anything he would regret later on. He feels Tommy tug against his hold but he refuses to let go until he knows that Tommy regains some self-control.  
  
His actions catch the attention of Quackity, who seems to finally notice his presence, he eyes him up and down before staring at Wilbur. "Who’s this pretty new guy? Recruiting more people for your lost cause huh?”  
  
Wilbur looks like he's about to say something but Technoblade decides to finally put his intimidation skills to use, Quackity’s presence seemingly radiates more power than the cowering fox hybrid behind him.  
  
"I'm here in case things get a bit out of hand," to emphasise his words he tilts his axe into view. Quackity shivers slightly at the sight but refuses to back down from the threat . "-But you don't want anything bad to happen, so you should go get Schlatt."  
  
**_‘Yes we do we do wedowedo.’_**  
  
"Shut up!" He half whispers, half yells to it, the fact that it had been getting more and more vocal was a concern. Now the thoughts were getting even more jumbled, like a buzz that was trying to drown everything else out.  
  
All four of them look at him with confusion and Technoblade realises he said that out loud.  
  
By accident he seems to have scared Quackity even more, he backs away and raises his hands in the air. He must've thought the shut up was directed at him, though Wilbur was looking at him rather strangely. 

He hopes that Wilbur doesn't catch on to it. Their father had to briefly explain his past to his brothers after the incident, but for their safety he never went into much detail about it. And Technoblade was going to keep it that way, locked in the dark for his eyes and his eyes only.  
  
"Oh it's you guys again, didn't I kick you out?" A new voice abruptly joins the conversation, he recognises it immediately and turns to face the man he had threatened yesterday. The president, who Technoblade still had to figure out why was talking with Dream.

Maybe this would be his chance to get a proper conversation with the ram. In retrospect he shouldn’t have interrogated him with such violence, but his trust for strangers was too low to risk anything happening.   
  
Wilbur practically rips the coat he was holding between his hands, body already shaking with rage as he turns to face the ram hybrid, who stares back with a smug grin. He was still wearing a black suit, after a quick assessment Technoblade couldn't spot any sort of weapon on the president.  
  
"We are... here to discuss that..." Wilbur speaks slowly, trying to calm himself down and not ruin the peaceful meeting, Technoblade puts his hand on his shoulder to help sooth his anger. Schlatt seems to finally notice Technoblade and grins even wider, interrupting Wilbur.  
  
"Good to see you again, friend. Dream called you Pinkie right? Is that your name?"  
  
Wilbur spins around to stare at Technoblade with a look of pure repugnance and distrust, "how does he know who you are, Technoblade?"  
  
Well shit.  
  
He wasn't sure how good the relationship was between the two was. He had just assumed that Schlatt kicked them out because they were competition, but there might be more to that story that Wilbur hadn’t told him about.

He tries to play it off and get suspicion off him, he could tell that Wilbur seemed more unstable than usual. "I encountered him while heading to the nether portal, nothing important happened so I didn’t bother telling you.”  
  
"We did way more than that," Schlatt smirks as he lies through his teeth, eyebrows raised as his arms fold across his chest, "we discussed many things involving you guys and your exilement, I don't know what you told him- but he doesn't believe any of it."  
  
"That is not true, is it Blade?" Tommy stares at him in disbelief while Wilbur continues to glare.  
  
"I have no association with this man, I'm here to help you guys because you asked me, remember?" So many eyes were on him, his heartbeat begins to speed up and he could feel stress creeping up his spine.  
  
"How do we know you weren't brought over to his side?!" Wilbur retorts angrily and steps closer to Technoblade.  
  
"Why the fuck would you believe him over me? You really think I would leave you guys that easily?"

He hears the duo behind them chuckle amongst themselves, while Schlatt flashes him a smile. That _bastard_ knew exactly what he was doing, what he lacks in weaponry he obviously made up for with intelligence. 

He could feel _it_ laughing at him, a head-splitting scratch in his ears that made his head throb painfully. He doesn't even notice his arm was moving until his fingers hit the hilt of his axe, snapping him out of his thoughts.  
  
_Breathe Technoblade_. He attempts to calm himself, counting down in his head like he was taught. Everything would be fine. He turns to face his brothers.  
  
"Stop letting yourself get manipulated. If we were truly in a partnership he wouldn't sell me out like that." He narrows his eyes, "if you can't even trust me I might as well leave now, I'm only here because you begged me for help."  
  
His threatening words stop their accusing glares, Tommy seems to ponder for a few moments before guilt makes its way onto his face and he looks down at the ground.  
  
Schlatt laughs and claps his hands together, "I can't believe you fell for that Wilbur, you really don't trust anyone do you? I bet that's why the people voted me over you!" He casts an earnest glance over at Technoblade, before staring back at Wilbur, "I bet you're here because you want to crawl back to Manberg, huh?"  
  
"Manberg?"  
  
"You didn't know? Oh you poor thing, we changed the name!"  
  
"Because we don't take L's!" Quackity interrupts them and grins alongside Schlatt, basically bathing in the loathing radiating off Wilbur. Fundy however was hunched over and hiding behind them, he seems extremely disturbed about something.  
  
Wilbur turns around and grabs Tommy, throwing a glance at Technoblade, "we tried your idea Tommy, but I don't want to lose my dignity to these assholes. Now let's get out of here and try my idea."  
  
Schlatt raises an eyebrow and laughs, "wow are you guys going to take that from Wilbur? I would’ve expected more self-worth, especially from you _Technoblade_."  
  
Technoblade turns to face Schlatt, who was smiling at him and gesturing to his brothers,” he doesn’t even trust you, I mean it’s painfully obvious that he’s just using you for his own gain.”

His axe swings centimetres away from the ram's face- who stumbles back and almost falls over. Technoblade feels a wave of anger pulse through his body, flooding his senses. But it wasn’t because of the ram himself, but because he wasn't able to come up with a proper argument against his words. Because Schlatt could very well be right. Technoblade didn't know the full story, he didn’t even recognise his brother in Wilbur right now. As far as he knew Wilbur could be lying and manipulating him.  
  
Schlatt senses his hesitance and doesn't stop grinning, he knew his words were getting to Technoblade. He wanted to carve that grin off his face, to watch the smirk contort into a scream of agony.  
  
**_‘Don't hold back on your urges, the only thing stopping you from doing what we want is your stubbornness.’_**  
  
Of fucking course.  
  
"Don't push your luck, you're less than prey to me, wise guy." He wasn’t sure who he was talking to. His voice far from his body, like he was watching his actions acted out in a play he had no control over. He spins around and trails ahead of his brothers, who quickly follow his lead.  
  
Behind him the ram hybrid continues to grin.


	6. Chapter 6

_“How long have we been walking for?”_   
  
**_'We've been wandering for a few days, you should find us a place to sleep.'_ **   
  
_Ah that's right, he was tired. The pinkette's feet stumble with every step and his stinging eyes keep fluttering shut. Sometimes he loses feeling in his body, but luckily the Blood God would remind him when he needed to sleep or even eat. He uses his sword to sweep the hanging branches to the side, eyes surveying the forest for shelter. Birds tweet above and crickets croak underneath. It was simultaneously loud and silent, grass sticks to the bottom of his hooves and the pinkette grunts in disgust._   
  
_A flicker of a lamp light to his left catches his attention as he turns to see a small brick house. It seems inhabited, most likely by humans._   
  
_His bloodied sword trembles in his palm, he feels icky. Dried blood coats his body like another layer of skin, dirt sticks to his hooves like socks. Maybe he would be able to clean himself once he breaks inside, but what if there were people inside?_   
  
**_‘You kill them. You can’t trust anyone.'_ **   
  
_He hesitantly nods to himself and walks to the front door, peering through the window. It seems empty so he gently tugs the door open and shuffles inside. Multiple senses tingle with life as he struggles to pinpoint where they were coming from. A sudden scent of meat and vegetables drifts through the air, he can feel his mouth water at the smell. Someone must be cooking dinner._   
  
_He tiptoes through the rooms, following his nose until the last wall he peers around reveals a kitchen with people inside. The bright lights in the room make his eyes squint, human lights were annoying to deal with, they sting his eyes._   
  
  
_The pinkette locates the people talking, two kids, one adult. His vision clears and immediately sends panic bells ringing in his ears. The adult male has two giant wings that curl around his body like a robe, the pinkette feels his breathing heavy. It reminds him of the bad humans at his old home, the ones that stuck the voice in his head. The people who tortured him and prayed to him._   
  
_His gaze snaps to the younger children sitting at a bench, were they experiencing the same pain he was put through? They were giggling and talking amongst themselves, looking like they were having a swell time. That means they must be happy. The Blood God teaches him about many emotions and what they were called, some are indescribable but the voice calls them worthless._   
  
_"Who's there?" A gruff voice interrupts his thoughts and he ducks behind the wall, had the blonde hybrid seen him? The noises from the kitchen quieten and footsteps begin to head in his direction._   
  
_'_ **_Threaten them. Killthem! Spill their blood and loot their home!"_ **   
  
_The voice compels him to leap out from behind the wall, but instead he turns tail and tries to run for the door. He couldn't kill them, they seem like a happy family. They had what he wanted, but if he couldn't have it then it was better that they did._   


Multiple paintings and photos hanging from the walls blur around him as he dashes around the corner. A sudden hand on his shoulder pulls him backward and he feels his back collide with the wall, sword flying in the opposite direction. Panic courses in his veins. His mind far too slow to catch up to the pounding of his heart. He swiftly lets himself crumble to the floor and tries to roll towards the weapon, but the hand grabs his collar and pulls him backward.  
  
  
 _"Who are you and why are you in our home?" The voice is stern, but the boy doesn't sense a desire to kill in it. The pinkette peers up at the tall, blonde man towering over him. Two giant wings block out the light and cast long shadows on the ground, he looks big and scary. He doesn't feel safe anymore._  
  
 _Why is life being so mean to me? I just want a family, I want to feel loved._  
  
 _He begins to tear up while trying to squirm out of the man's grip and towards the sword. The grip tightens and more fear rushes into his brain._  
  
 _"Are you homeless?" The man asks softer than last time, but it still fills him with a shivering fear- the kind of feeling when nails scrape down cobblestone, "can you understand what I am saying?"_  
  
 _He hears murmuring from behind them and sees two blurry silhouettes observing what was happening._  
  
 _He's going to kill me-_  
  
 _'_ ** _Killhim_** ** _killhim_** ** _! Grab the sword! Let_** ** _me_** ** _kill him!'_**  
  
 _He struggles more and considers letting the voice take over, but when it does that everything gets fuzzy. He needs to be awake! He needs to survive and fight back-_  
  
 _Tears pour from his eyes, he can't see anymore. Everything is blurring together in a wobbly grey._  
  
 _The hand on his shoulder pulls him forward and he feels two arms wrap around him. He wasn't sure what this was, why was he being so gentle? It felt warm and safe._  
  
 _I don't want to kill him..._  
  
 _'_ ** _Kill him! Kill him killhimkillhim…'_**  
  
 _The boy closes his eyes and curls into a ball. Sleep finally arrives at his most vulnerable state._

|||Dream POV|||  
  
Mud clings to Dream’s shoes like soul sand, slowing him down as his eyes drift over the abandoned fields. Vast rows of hoed soil reach beyond his vision, a long and pointed black fence serving as a blockade. The man he interrogated had told him that this was the property Technoblade purchased. It didn't look like a soulless murderer's property, in fact remove the fencing and it would be completely childproof.  
  
Dream pulls at some growing plants to analyse.  
  
"Potatoes?" He mutters to himself and rotates the baby vegetable in his palm, it looks pretty big too- was Technoblade an expert farmer as well as a sociopathic demon? Shifting his gaze back at the fields he spots a small house near the treeline.  
  
Time for some tactical investigation.  
  
The building towers above him as he nears the front door, the walls made from brick and engulfed by ivy and rust. The windows were shut tight while the curtains were drawn together, Dream stares at his reflection in the glass for a moment before deciding to break it. He picks at the wall until a loose brick tumbles out, holding it tightly. He leans back and builds momentum as he hurls the solid mass through the glass.  
  
An ear-splitting shatter of glass causes a nearby flock of birds to fly away, he watches as shards of glass hit the ground with a soft tinkling sound. The now exposed curtains flutter rapidly in the increasing cold breeze. Dream places his hands on the windowsill- thankful for wearing gloves on this journey- as he pulls himself up and over the stone and ungracefully rolls through the chips of glass. He feels the sharp pick at his hoodie and exposed wrists, but luckily nothing bleeds.  
  
He stands up and brushes himself off, looking around the house for anything of interest.  
  
The first thing that stands out is a fireplace, the glass was stained black by ash and soot. Above the fireplace is a shelf with multiple frames and potted plants, he walks over to them to see what the pictures were inside.  
  
The pictures had four people in them, each with a little label under the photo. He immediately recognises one with Tommy and Wilbur, one of them smiling broadly at Dream and he picks it up to get a better look. This one was labelled, ‘ _Christmas Sweaters_.’

They were both wearing matching blue sweaters in front of what he assumes was a Christmas tree. Wilbur seems far happier than Tommy, arm wrapped around the pouting blondie. He chuckles lowly to himself, Tommy seems as childish then as he does now. He tries not to ponder on that thought too much, it was pitiful considering the boy was involved in so many tragedies at such a young age.  
  
Dream puts it down and looks at another, this time Technoblade was in it. He appears a lot younger, maybe in his early teens. In his hands was a cardboard sword pointed directly at the camera, a very faint grin reveals tiny tusks peeking from under his bottom lip. The label on this one made him chuckle: ‘ _First photo of Techie smiling_.’

Dream glances over at all of the photos.  
  
The final photo freezes Dream in place, a fourth person, much taller and with dusty blonde hair. The man had two enormous wings that blocked out the background of wherever they were. Disturbingly the face was scraped off, revealing an emotionless grey where the head should be. The blond man was almost double their height, arms wrapped around Tommy and Wilbur while Technoblade was standing by his side. All of them were dressed up, he could tell that the pinkette was uncomfortable in the suit. He wonders briefly what the adult Technoblade would look like in a suit, before rapidly wiping the thought out. He briefly scans the words under the group.

‘ _Family Photo_.’  
  
Dream could tell that Technoblade was adopted, but he was unsure what the pinkette had done in his past to develop such a savage reputation. He didn't seem like a murderer, or a cultist. His mind drifts back to their first meeting, he seemed like he was talking to someone, but he was by himself.  
  
Was he insane then?  
  
The frowning pictures eerily stare back at him, so he puts them all face down and moves throughout the house for more information.  
  
Besides the rotting pot plants littering the shelves, there was little to no untidy space in his house. Technoblade could even be considered a clean freak- nothing seemed out of place. The unnatural silence rises goosebumps on Dream's skin, it seems too peaceful for a mental person's house.  
  
He reaches a closed door and curiosity pulls his hand to the doorknob, slowly cracking it open to peer inside.

In the corner of the room was a mountain of blankets and pillows, he appears to have no mattress or bed frame. Dream wasn’t sure if he was poor if he was preventing hiding spots in his room. How paranoid was Technoblade to resort to emptying his room of practically everything?

Dream doesn’t trust the empty room, the piglin hybrid definitely seems like the person to hide important valuables. So he pokes and prods at every inch of the room, hands rummaging through the blankets, fingers pushing at suspicious looking walls.

He gives up, about to walk out of the room when wood creaks loudly under his weight. Dream’s gaze snaps down and he tests the wood floorboard again, one area creaks while everything around it is suspiciously quiet. 

He kneels down and pokes the wood, before deciding to try and pry it from the ground. He pulls out his knife and prise the heads of the nails until they pop out. After removing every nail he pulls the wood back to reveal a cardboard box.

“Fuck yes! 2 points for me!” Dream grins and pulls out the box, removing the lid to look inside.  
  
He could only see two items, a feather the size of his hand and a small vial of blood. Dream picks up the feather and lightly brushes it against his fingertip, it was a light shade of gray with flecks of black and while dotting the tip. The colour matches the wings of the faceless man in that photo...

Okay this definitely out of the ordinary, he picks up the vial and raises it to eye level. The blood was extremely dark after but closer inspection he could see specks of lighter red glimmering within the liquid. Dream cups his hands around the glass and peeks through his fingers, seeing that the blood glows vaguely in the dark.  
  
"...I'll take this with me,” he shoves it into his pocket and pulls himself up from the floor. That was not normal blood and it was obviously important to Technoblade if he went this far to hide it. He doesn’t bother putting the floorboard back in place as he saunters out of the room.  
  
It's time he talks to ' _The Blade_ ' himself.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a huge writing spree and since this chapter is shorter I posted it earlier. Still gonna update tomorrow on schedule tho lol.

|||Technoblade POV|||  
  
Tension fills the room with a dreary atmosphere, one heavy enough to weigh down on Technoblade as he sits athwart Wilbur. He feels eyes observing him, like a predator analysing prey.  
  
Technoblade shuffles uncomfortably in his chair. He finds himself wishing he was at home, at least there he wouldn't have to worry about people in his house. He pictures himself farming right now, cooking a salad and feeding his horse, feeling a warm breeze and the gentle kiss of the morning sun.  
  
Wilbur begins lightly drumming his fingers against the table and snaps him out of his daydream, feeling an increase in restlessness.

The slow but loud noise starts to trigger him, tap tap _drip_. He feels his skin crawl. From the corners of the room shadows begin to move. A sudden itch creeps up the back of his neck, phantom feelings of blood trickling down his cheek. Technoblade whacks the table with his fist to shut Wilbur up, glancing up to glare at him.

"Do you want to say something or will you keep staring at me?"  
  
Wilbur continues to gaze at him, eyes devoid of any light. Dark eyebags blend with a deathly pale complexion, reminding Technoblade of a corpse, the disturbing thought lingers in his head.

**_‘I wonder what Wilby would look like as a rotting corpse?’_ **

Not now please.

His brother skids back on his chair and stands up, slowly making his way over to Technoblade, "you don't _actually_ believe any of the crap Schlatt tried to feed you right? He's just trying to win you over for more power, he's a liar and a manipulator."  
  
"I can take care of myself Wilbur! It's not a big deal! I know he isn't 'concerned' about me," his lip trembles and his eyes narrow, "but sometimes it feels like you also don't care about me."

Wilbur growls and waves off his last statement. "Of course it's a big fuckin deal! Schlatt is our main target, you should be fighting him not conversing with him! How can I trust you if you keep talking to our enemies?"

He pushes himself up from his seat to get on eye level with Wilbur, "YOUR enemy! Maybe Schlatt was at least right about self respect, if you can't even give me a shred of trust why should I risk losing self control for an ungrateful brother?"

“It isn’t my fault you can’t control shit!” That hurt Technoblade more than he wants to admit.

“You want me just follow you around and stab whoever you want me too? Do I not get a say in this, Wilbur?!"  
  
Technoblade feels his placid expression crumble as he struggles to keep his cool. The lamp dangling above them flickers momentarily, causing a tense ambience. He could barely recognise the person standing in front of him anymore.  
  
"Technoblade, of course you get a say in this," Wilbur places a hand on his shoulder, words suddenly dripping with a sickly sweet tone, "I'm just trying to keep at least _one_ of your relationships from failing."  
  
He tenses and goes to swipe Wilbur's hand off himself, taking a step back and glaring. The sudden softness in his words immediately put him on guard.  
  
"What the hell does that mean?" Wilbur smiles at his question, all previous evidence of anger evaporating.  
  
"What it means is, we both know that you don't _really_ have anyone else that cares about you." His smile feels sinister as he steps forward to match his pace, "I do though, you're a good brother to me. I understand you're just frustrated and stressed about _our_ current situation."  
  
Wilbur's eyes are now as dark as pools of oil, sinking him further into his own dark thoughts.  
  
He pauses to actually consider Wilbur's words. Who really does care about him?

He has no one outside of his family, everyone fears him because of his past and fucked up mind, he could barely hold one fucking conversation. Just how much of his life will he live alone?

Dread fills his mind as Wilbur tugs him into a hug, it feels suffocating. He can't remember the last person besides Wilbur that has hugged him.  
  
"The only reason Philza took you in is because of pity, we both know that-"  
  
"P-please don't say his name." Technoblade can barely force the words out, his thoughts flash back to the schoolyard, to a crying Tommy grabbing at his shoulders- to the appetizing _blood_ dripping down flesh-  
  
"I'm sorry, I know Philza is an unpleasant word for you." Wilbur tightens his hold causing Technoblade to hesitate before hugging back. His eyes burn as the tears obscure his vision, he wants to cry, but nothing comes out. He feels broken. But Wilbur's words are oddly soothing. Like frozen water on a burn.  
  
"Do you really care about me?" Technoblade manages to croak out, he hates how high and shaky his voice sounds.  
  
"Of course, I will never love you out of _pity_. That's why I want you to listen to me, Technoblade, because I'm trying to help you."

  
His mind stops pacing, those words were all he wanted to hear. All he ever wanted was someone to love him, no pity, no fear or desire. But why can’t he get that warm feeling he had with **P** hi l z 


	8. Chapter 8

_"Daddy who is this?"_   
  
_Philza looks toward his older son, Wilbur, who sits on the opposite side of the couch staring at the kid he caught last night. The little piglin hybrid fidgets uncomfortably and continues to watch the carpet, too nervous to make eye contact with the family in front of him. His hooves dangle just short of the floor, digging into the soft fabric._   
  
_"He doesn’t seem to have a family or home," he casts a meaningful glance at the child, "so for now he will be staying here with us."_   
  
_To be completely honest when he had spotted the child peeking into the kitchen he thought a mob had gotten into their house. The child was not a pretty sight. His clothes were torn and covered in blood and mud. His long, pink hair -that was surprisingly silky- was so mattered Philza had thought the kid was a brunette._

_Especially with that sword, which was just as nauseatingly doused in blood as his body. But once Philza had disarmed and caught him, the child had begun sobbing. It was so heart wrenching, even when he eventually passed out._

_Philza wasn't sure about a lot of things besides that, he wasn't sure who the kid was talking to, why he was covered in blood, or why such a young child even had a used sword in the first place._   
  
_He sighs and ruffles the kids pink hair, being mindful of the flickering ear poking out. He'd given the pinkette a bath to help wash away the muck- he didn't want to have a sick child in his hands. But the thing that stood out to him the most was the lack of injuries, there were plenty of scars, yes. Some scars looked so horrifying and mutilated that he wanted to throw up, but no recent injuries._

_So where did that blood come from? He would have to keep a close eye on the kid._  
  
 _"He's going to be our guest here until we figure things out, so I need you guys to be responsible and don’t pester him." He sighs and looks back down at the pinkette, he hadn't even got a name from the kid yet. Though he obviously understood english Philza doubted he knew how to speak it, or maybe the piglin hybrid was just nervous._  
  
 _"We promise we won't be mean to him!" His younger son, Tommy, jumps up and skips over to the kid, crouching down and poking him on the cheek. "Hello! My name is Tommy, what's your name?"_  
  
 _The pinkette was so quiet that Philza was about to conclude his lack of speaking, when suddenly he peers up from underneath his long bangs._  
  
 _"M-my name… T-technoblade."_  
  
 _Tommy gapes at him for a moment before his face morphs in a grin. "What a cool name! I want it, can I have that name Dad?" He leaps up to face Philza, who smiles back in amusement._  
  
 _"I think Tommy sounds cool too, you should probably stick with it." He airily chuckles at his son's cuteness._  
  
 _"We can be the two big T's!" He grabs Technoblade's hand, who suddenly recoils and yanks his arm away with a panicked cry._  
  
 _Philza immediately shoots up and crouches to meet eye level with the kid, who had begun to breath heavily and cover his face with his hands. "Are you okay?"_  
  
 _"D-did I do something wrong?" Tommy is starting to cry when Wilbur puts his hand on his younger brother's shoulder, whispering softly into his ear and leading him away from the two._  
  
 _Philza focuses back on the kid and gently peels his hands away, trying to make eye contact. His little shoulders tremble with every sob, his fingers digging into his head._  
  
 _"I need you to breathe and tell me what's wrong." He tries to stay calm but stern, not wanting to freak out the child even more when Technoblade suddenly peers up, tears tumbling down his flushed cheeks._  
  
 _"I-I- the voice wants me to hurt you! But you're nice and gentle and- and!" The rest jumbles together and becomes hard to understand. Philza pulls him into a hug, curling his wings around the boy to try and calm him down, beginning to hum until the crying ceases._  
  
  
|||Technoblade POV|||  
  
Technoblade ruffles Tommy's hair, feeling a burst of pride blossom in his chest.  
  
Tommy had burst through the entrance of their base yelling about managing to catch a deer, so Technoblade left with him to help bring it back. It turned out that Tommy was able to sneak up on an adult deer and shoot it successfully.   
  
"Those lessons are sticking with you, aren't they?" He hopes he sounds as proud as he feels.  
  
Tommy's grin widens and he fist pumps the air, "hell yeah! Soon I'll be just as strong in battles as you are!"  
  
Technoblade wants to remind him that he wasn't a good role model but he also doesn't want to ruin the moment. Besides at this point who can the kid even look up too? His friends are at a home he can't return too, his dad is... and Wilbur was... what was Wilbur like? He couldn't pinpoint what was different in his older brother, maybe Technoblade was the one who changed instead.  
  
No he hadn't changed, had he? Was the Blood God always this vocal or had his control been deteriorating under the wraps? He shakes his head and hoists the deer's body up as it starts slipping from his back. Tommy is jogging to catch up with him, still fist pumping the air and waving to bow around like a sword.  
  
"Be careful with that."

"Yeah, yeah I know- but have you ever thought about adding sharp edges on the ends? It could be two weapons in one!"  
  
"...No I have not." He doubts that would even work, though having an emergency blade for sudden close attacks could be useful.

"We should do it sometime! Any idea I come up with is genius, don't you know?" Tommy brags while he tucks the bow into his belt, before glancing up at him.

"Right…? C'mon Big T give me some validation here!" His pleading voice snaps Technoblade from his thoughts, he wearily smiles and goes to pat Tommy's hair again.

"Yeah, yeah. I know you're smart, just don't boast too much or I'll have to stop that growing ego of yours," he chuckles at the now pouting Tommy, who punches him lightly in the arm. 

"My ego should be as big as I am! And soon my actions will speak louder than my words."

"What do you mean by that?" He throws a questioning glance at him. 

"I mean when we take back Lmanberg."

"Ah. Right, yeah." Technoblade mumbles and looks away. Sensing the change in mood Tommy puts his hand on his shoulder.

"You do _want_ to help us right? Like do you feel obligated to or something?" His innocent questions unintentionally cause Technoblade to feel more impelled to help him. A part of him is happy he is being given a choice here, even if it is only an illusion of a choice.

He can't back out now, he just can't. Tommy deserves to stay as happy as he is currently. He deserves so much more, he doesn't deserve to be left alone.

...or with Wilbur. Technoblade knew Wilbur loved him, but his words could be harsh sometimes. And despite the bashful face Tommy put on he was quite sensitive. Technoblade remembers numerous times as a child when he got scolded for doing bad things. Tough love is necessary, right? Wilbur was just trying to help him this way.

He focuses back on the gravel path ahead of them, the lights from the cave flickering from behind a cluster of shrubs. Looks like they finally made it home.

Tommy groans with relief and cured impatience as he bounds ahead of him.  
  
"I’m so glad you guys made it back safely, and I see Tommy wasn't lying about the deer." Wilbur remarks cheerfully and emerges from the home, Technoblade instinctively shivers, though he couldn't understand why. His brother was one of the few only people he could trust.  
  
Wilbur rushes over and helps Technoblade carry the deer inside, congratulating Tommy on his catch. But the conversation fades to a buzz while he tries to figure out and label his current emotions. Technoblade glances up at his brother, he was hugging Tommy and ruffling his hair while feeding him compliments. Why is he trying to find a problem? He should just enjoy the company he has now.

“Oh yeah, Techno!” Wilbur turns around and pulls an opened envelope from his coat before passing it to Technoblade. “The letter was labeled for you- I promise I didn’t read it, I only checked for traps.”  
  
"Thank you?" Technoblade drops the deer from his shoulders and pinches the paper carefully from his brother. He begins to quickly unwrap the cover.  
  
"No need to thank me, we have to look out for each other, right?" His grin grows wider as he turns to face Tommy again and resume his conversation.  
  
"...yeah" Technoblade quickly unfolds the letter to read the contents, only to be surprised by the writer.  
  
_Hello Pinkie._  
  
 _You remember me right? I'm Dream, the man you tried to kill at least twice now._  
  
 _Anyway I want to meet up with you, there's some things I want to talk about, plus I want to get to know more about you._  
  
 _If you do decide to show up tonight, go to the place we first met, and please don't try to kill me for a third time._  
  
 _-Dream :)_  
  
So it was from Dream? He shouldn't be too surprised. But why is that man so insistent on becoming friends with him?  
  
"Who is it from?" Tommy pipes up and tries to snatch the note from his grasp, but Technoblade raises it up as high as he can, thankful for his height.  
  
"From someone I met a few days ago, it's nothing important." Technoblade was going to leave his answer vague but from the corner of his eye he sees Wilbur tilt his head, he suddenly becomes unsure if he messed something up so he clarifies in further detail, "-some guy with a smiley mask and a green hoodie."  
  
Tommy stops trying to grab the letter and stares at him blankly, a look of pure disbelief flashing through, "Dream? What does he want with you?!"  
  
"You know him?"  
  
"I've only met him twice, he seemed like a chill dude but recently he’s been snooping around with Schlatt and Eret, I don’t trust him!”  
  
Suddenly an arm flings itself around his shoulder, Technoblade glances to his side to see Wilbur. His body feels weighed down while nails lightly dig into his cloak, keeping him still.  
  
"You should go!"  
  
"He should?" Tommy asks, clearly confused.  
  
"He could get some information for us, like a spy! It's not often anyone can get Dream's attention- it's the perfect plan!" His grip tightens around Technoblade, pulling him closer. The letter trembles slightly in his hands as he re-reads it over and over again. He didn't like the idea of meeting up with someone to betray them, but Wilbur knew what he was doing. Wilbur trusts Technoblade. So he should trust his older brother.  
  
"I'll do it."  
  
"I knew you would, you're the best!" Wilbur pats him on the back and loosens his grip, leaving him by himself.

Technoblade nods absentmindedly despite the conversation ending. After a few moments of stillness he refolds the letter and shoves it into his pocket. He then proceeds to walk to his room.

Stone gray paints his vision. Long passageways of dullness start to hurt his head. He hated it. The stone reminds him of concrete, and concrete reminds him of the rooms they would take him too when they enacted ceremonies. Technoblade flings his bedroom door open and glares at the colour, maybe he'll paint it another colour or something…

Right now he needed sleep, Dream could be dangerous when he wanted to and Technoblade didn't want to pass out in front of anyone. He collapses onto the fluffy sheets and closes his stinging eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

_Two wooden swords clash together in a wide, grassy field. The sun beams down without a care in the world, the threat of rain and storm nonexistent._

_His grip tightens as he swings once again at his older brother’s blade, who stumbles back and tries to keep balance. Technoblade immediately senses an opportunity and uses his blade to swipe at his feet, effectively tripping him over. Wilbur tumbles into the soft grass while letting out a string of curses too vulgar for his age._

_“Aw c’mon Techno! Go a little bit easy on me!” The oldest exclaims and reaches for his sword, which Technoblade kicks away before he can grab. A smirk paints his face as he points the scuffed wood edge to his neck dramatically._

_“If you wish to defeat us, train for another two years!” His finger runs along the rough wood, tracing the scratches embedded into the dark oak._

_“No fair, you have tons of training!” Wilbur pouts and lets out a sigh, breathing in the warm afternoon breeze._

_“Can I fight him nowww? Please!” The youngest of the trio, Tommy, leaps up from his spot under the tree, dashing towards them, “I’m definitely gonna beat you this time!”_

_"The result will always be unchanging, but go for it!" Technoblade exclaims pridefully, feeling the Blood God cheering him on._

_The pinkette readies himself for more fighting when Wilbur suddenly grins devilishly and grabs Tommy by the arm, pulling him close and whispering into his ear._

_This immediately puts Technoblade on guard, his eyes watch as something shiny is placed into Tommy’s hands. He can't make out what it was but it was small enough to fit in his palm comfortably._

_“What are you doing?” The only response he gets is giggles, which fills him with even more suspicions. Sometimes his brothers were mean in their mischievous plots, he knew they didn't mean it and father said it's just what brothers do. He still struggled to understand family dynamics, all he knew were leaders, followers and sacrifices. He wasn't used to being on the same level as his peers._

_“Nothing~ Let’s fight!” Tommy straightens himself up and holds the sword in one hand, his other a closed fist to hide whatever he was given._

_The piglin hybrid raises an eyebrow and extends his sword to prepare himself for a fight._

_Technoblade strikes first, swinging his sword with enough ferocity to launch Tommy backward. He almost stumbles to the ground when Tommy yelps and suddenly throws something at the grass. His gaze follows the object until it clinks against the dirt, whatever it was- it glimmers in the heat. Almost like a drop of sunlight dipped in glitter, the twinkling pulls his gaze and keeps him captivated- he can't make himself look away. He can’t even scan his surroundings until something slams into his chest and knocks him over._

_“Aha- It actually works!” Wilbur laughs along with Tommy while Techno stares at the sky in confusion, still trying to figure out what just happened. The grass is soft under his arms and hooves, the warmth a blanket cast over his body from the sunlight._

_Wilbur senses this and stands up to pick up the object, “it’s gold! I learned from school that piglins get distracted by gold and wanted to test it on you!”_

_“That’s cheating!” Technoblade growls in annoyance and stands back up, “that’s not a fair way to beat me!”_

_“No strategy is cheating if it solves the problem, you’re just mad you lost.” Wilbur sings and waves his hand around, Technoblade is able to concentrate on his brother, refusing to fall for it twice._

_“I’m not mad about losing! I’m mad that you cheated!” Frustration bubbles in his gut like a volcano, rising to his throat in the form of a growl. He was being used like a test subject again, his face blushes in embarrassment and humiliation._

_Tommy laughs and drops the wooden sword, “oh no the Blade’s mad! We better run!”_

_The two start racing off through the field to get away from Technoblade, who rushes after them with a scowl._

_His hooves cuff the soil, squashing soft grass into the ground mercilessly._

It only takes a few moments for him to catch up and tackle Wilbur to the ground, the gold flies from his hands and out of view. His attention snaps back to his brother, whose face is flushed red from laughing.

**_‘They are trying to find weaknesses to use against you later, you can’t trust them.’_ **

_The voice is back, whispering into his ear. It fills his head until he finds himself struggling to concentrate on the world around him. That wasn’t true, they were just teasing him, weren’t they? He considers them brothers, and brothers tease one another constantly._

**_‘Never trust anyone. They are all against you.’_ **

_“That’s not true! I'm s-safe here?!" The voice was being mean again, hurting his head with harsh words._

_“T-technoblade? Please let go, you're st-starting to hurt me!”_

_Reality snaps back and he stares down at Wilbur, who is squirming under him with tears pouring down his cheeks. He only just notices his nails were digging into his brother’s skin when he sees blood trickle down._

_Blood blood blo_ **_odbl_ ** _oo_ **_dblood_ ** _._

_His mind is running empty, what is even happening? His hands tighten and Wilbur begins to openly cry, his mouth waters at the sight of the dripping crimson- the feeling of prey struggling underneath him. The volcano of emotions in his belly finally beginning to erupt, he can feel lava coat his thoughts in an ugly red. Technoblade leans in towards his brother's wound and opens his mouth to tear at it when he feels arms wrap around him and pry him away._

_Suddenly his vision goes gray and he feels himself get lifted up by strong arms._

_“Techie, what are you doing?” A familiar rough voice stops him from struggling, wait- he was struggling? The familiar gray of feathers pull away from his eyes and bright light invades his vision again._

_Philza is holding him up from Wilbur, who had crawled away towards Tommy to cry. Hands place him back down and turn him around, he hates the disappointment he sees in his father’s eyes, who sighs and looks regretfully at the ground. He didn’t need to explain, Philza didn’t need an explanation._

_Philza glances at the gold ingot laying on the ground, dirtied by the soil around it._

_"What happened, Techie?"_

_"I-I don't know! They made me feel loopy with the gold and I got a-angry- and then the voice told me they were finding weaknesses. T-then I saw blood-" A finger against his lips silences him, his watering eyes peer upward as his father stands up with his wing around his waist._

_"I'll talk with you about the voice later, right now I need to comfort Wilbur."_

_"O-okay…"_

_From the corner of his eye he sees Wilbur and Tommy. His brother was smiling, a faint but visible upcurl tugging at his lips._

|||Dream POV|||  
  
The vial twirls around his fingers like a magician's coin, moonlight reflecting off the dusty glass. Dream sighs once again and peers up at the sky to tell the time. Was he going to get stood up by Technoblade? What if the letter didn't make it through and he was just wasting his night.

The moon was only halfway in the sky, but it was starting to get harder to see through the gathering clouds. The stars had long vanished, leaving the glowing rock burdened alone with lighting up the dark forest.

Why did he even care that much anyway? Technoblade evoked a feeling in him that he didn’t know he had. Dream despised not having the proper words to describe the feeling lurking in his chest. It made his stomach fuzzy and his brain hot. He needed answers, and what better way to get answers than to confront them head on?  
  
His thoughts get interrupted a moment later when branches crunch to his side, he quickly shoves the vial into his pocket and glances over at the emerging shadow. Even from here he can see the flowing river of pink draping down Technoblade's shoulders.  
  
His tall but elegant presence reaps the colour from the atmosphere surrounding them, Dream was captivated by how royal he appeared, despite how bruteful he acted. He could stare for hours at the pinkette who made everything else in the forest seem monochromatic. Technoblade could almost be compared to a tall pink flower in a field of dead, brown grass. But Dream wasn't a poet.  
  
He quickly snaps out of his thoughts as the pinkette settles down on the log he had brutally chopped down from last time, arms folding neatly on his lap as his ruby eyes glue themselves to Dream's. He was obviously waiting for Dream to say something, but it took a little while to collect his thoughts coherently. Technoblade’s stare was intense, threatening almost. It sent exciting goosebumps down his spine and arms. This was the thrill he wanted to chase down and consume.  
  
"Hey Pinkie! How has time treated you while we were apart?"  
  
"eh... Fine I guess." His face seems guarded and his mind seems distracted. Not exactly what Dream wanted but they had only just started to converse, so he would deal with it for now.  
  
"Better than shit- anyway I called you here because I want to get to know you better!"

"There's no way I came all the way out here for this nonsense again, right?" The piglin hybrid mutters while uttering a sigh, all previous tension evaporating. "I doubt you are void of any motives, you really expect me to believe that anyone just 'wants to get to know me better?'"

"Oh come on, give me a chance! I don't know any of your past experiences but I'm speaking the truth."

He seems deep in thought for a few moments, before nodding to himself and leaning back, "sure."

Dream is ecstatic, the same hot feeling coiling around his stomach like a ribbon. He had the pinkette's full attention and now he needed to keep it. And he knew exactly how to do that.

"Let's do some trivia." The grin creeps back, he's thankful for his mask.

"Trivia?"

"What's _The Blade's_ favourite-"  
  
Technoblade immediately leaps up from his seat and shoots him a murderous glare, "how do you know my name?"  
  
Dream shrugs and smirks behind his mask, feeling rather giddy at the unsettling feeling he was giving the hybrid, "I did a little research and found out some rather interesting stuff: I know Wilbur and Tommy are your brothers."

Technoblade's frown deepens and a low growl rumbles out from his throat.

"-I found out where you live, I also know about the cult." He had pieced together that Technoblade had been in a cult when he was a child, but _what_ happened or _why_ was still a mystery to him.  
  
In a blink of a second, a blade is against his throat and Technoblade looms over him menacingly. Dream's eyes drift down to his lips and those sharp tusks peaking out, he finds himself wanting to poke the points to test their sharpness.

"How did you find that out? Who told you that?"  
  
"It was my hard work research that told me all this information, plus some... peaceful interrogations." He sings his sentence and leans forward, letting the metal press against his skin and split it open. Unexpectedly, Technoblade yelps and yanks his blade back, frantically scanning the metal for something. Dream studies his face and finds an expression of fright painted over his features, which was weird considering he's the one who put the blade there in the first place.  
  
"What the fuck is your problem? What do you want out of this?" Technoblade speaks faster, erratic and slight panic evident in his tone.  
  
Dream grins wider and stands up from the log, "I want excitement! My curiosity knows no bounds and all I've been getting are dumb rumours, though some of them are quite... exotic to say the least."  
  
Technoblade growls, eyes narrowing and ears glued downward distastefully. "You wouldn't want to get involved with me, your excitement _will_ get you killed!"  
  
That sounded even more interesting if Dream was being honest.  
  
"I do- because you're compelling to me. That's all, don't take this as a threat." Dream steps closer, his hand grabbing Technoblade's sword and pulling him closer, his other hand trails lightly down his shirt. The shirt is soft under his skin, almost like silk. "If you don't want to that's fine, but you would be putting Wilbur and Tommy in danger."  
  
He can feel the muscles under the shirt tighten as he tenses once again.  
  
"Are you threatening their safety?"  
  
"I know people who are out to get those two- you've seen me talking to Schlatt. But if you continue to interest me then I can be of more use than harm. Like an equivalent exchange!"  
  
The pinkette seems to be deep in thought before he sighs, looking Dream in the eyes, despite the mask he feels like Technoblade can see into his soul with those dark, ruby eyes. "This is a seriously messed up way of making friends."  
  
Dream chuckles at his bold remark.  
  
"If you really don't care about the risks... I guess you can become an 'acquaintance' to me, but nothing more." Those words were what Dream was waiting for.  
  
If he grins any wider his cheeks will tear, Dream grabs hold of his hand and shakes it eagerly, "deal!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might start updating more erratically and that's because our house got sold. Bummer but that's life 🗿, anyway I'll still probably be able to post on schedule this is just an explanation.


	10. Chapter 10

|||Technoblade POV|||

Technoblade's knuckles blanch as his nails dig into his palms, trying his best to conciliate his nerves while Dream pesters him with an unending barrage of unfiltered curiosity.

Halfway through their conversations he luckily manages to tune out the man, but fingers would poke or snap at him back into harsh reality.

This time round Dream reaches over the table and pinches one of his tusks, causing Technoblade to let out a surprised yelp and jump back in his seat. Technoblade covers his mouth and hisses angrily as Dream chuckles in amusement. 

"Why are you even still here?" He snaps and shuffles back comfortably in his chair.

"Don’t be so rude, I didn’t expect Wilbur to be out at this time!" 

Technoblade rolls his eyes. He wouldn't be surprised if Dream had planned all this to happen. Though he was curious as to why Dream wanted to talk to his older brother, what business would he have with him? Wilbur himself had stated that he wanted Technoblade's assistance to use Dream, but he struggles trying to convince himself to go along with it.

Something about Dream's overwhelming nosiness gave Technoblade a warm feeling. It wasn't like with Wilbur- he could almost consider it a positive emotion. Maybe it was because Dream was curious about him. Not his hybridness or his power, just _him_ personally. He couldn't understand it but he wanted to hold this feeling close for as long as possible.

"Pinkieee? Back to reality please, I'm trying to ask something here!" 

"Hm?" He glances up unenthusiastically.

"I asked how long until Wilbur comes back? I'm basically talking to a brick wall at this point, it's a waste of time to try and talk to you while you're daydreaming!" Dream leans back in his chair and dramatically waves his hands in the air. It reminds Technoblade of Wilbur when he goes on one of his rants, he was quite a painter when it came to his thoughts.

He stifles a chuckle, "sorry I guess- and can you stop calling me Pinkie? You basically did a history investigation on me so the least you can do is use my name.”

"Cry me a river! How about if you answer this question I'll call you by your name."

"What question is it-?" 

The door to their left swings open and two soaking bodies hurriedly shuffle inside. An explosion of wind and rain bursts into the room as the younger scrambles to slam the door shut.

"Where were you guys?" Technoblade jumps from his seat and rushes over to his shivering brothers, he notices that Tommy was only wearing a shirt so he takes off his coat and wraps it around his thin frame.

"You were gone for a while so I got worried and went out to look for you. I told Tommy to stay but you know him." Wilbur shrugs off his trench coat onto the stone floor, walking towards the handmade fireplace to start a flame.

"I can take care of myself, don't worry about me." Technoblade fusses with Tommy's hair, grabbing the sides of his head and shaking his tattered hair despite the complaints underneath.

"We're your brothers of course we were worried! I know you're used to being alone but-" Wilbur stands up and claps his hands in satisfaction at the increasing flames, before twirling around to stare at Technoblade. "-this is a team effort now…"

Wilbur trails off his mini speech the moment his eyes make contact with Dream. His face morphs in surprise, then anger and finally confusion.

"What's he doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you, _alone_." Dream specifies quickly and casts an passive-aggressive glance towards Technoblade and Tommy.

Technoblade gets the hint and grabs Tommy by the shoulder, leading him out of the room.

"W-wha?! They can't kick me out! I wanna hear what they're talking about!" Tommy protests boldly and tries to walk back, but Technoblade doesn't let go. 

“Tommy I’ll make you some dinner, come and sit by the oven while it heats.” Technoblade could tell he was trying to suppress his shivering, but his body still trembles from the cold despite Technoblade's cloak covering him.

"S-sure." His teeth chatter together and his words stutter out, Tommy stares down and puffs his cheeks in perceived indignation.

Technoblade smiles softly and guides him into the kitchen to take a seat next to the oven, before pulling out a few potatoes to prepare dinner with. 

The kitchen is quite messy so he gets to work swiftly, dumping dirty plates into the sink while pulling out some frozen meat to heat up. By the time he is dicing potatoes Tommy has his full attention on Technoblade, who begins to get weirded out by how silent his younger brother is being. At least he was shivering less, the room itself was quite cold excluding the oven, but Tommy was more important than his own comfort.

“Can I help?” Tommy suddenly pipes up to Technoblade’s surprise, who just nods and gestures for Tommy to stand up. He hands him the knife and places his hand on his wrist, guiding Tommy's arm to the proper position.

“Cutting potatoes is actually quite simple when you know how to do it effectively, at this certain angle you get thin slices but when cooked they turn extra crispy in the-” Technoblade stops his rambling and peers down at Tommy, who wears a nostalgic smile, “are you alright Tommy?”

“H-huh? Yeah I am, I just-” he pauses for a moment and looks down at Technoblade's hand on his, “I missed this- y'know? You hanging out with me I mean. It’s been awhile since I got to listen to you go on one of your rants and-”

Technoblade pulls the knife out of his hand and places it down on the bench, turning Tommy around and tugging him into a hug. His arms wrap around him effortlessly. Technoblade doesn't care that rainwater seeps into the front of his shirt, or that Tommy aggressively hugs him back after a few moments.

“Tommy, I shouldn’t have had to leave you guys alone to take care of Philza- but I don't regret it. I just couldn’t afford to lose my family, I was a _risk,_ a _danger_.” His hand glides up to Tommy’s shoulder and he stares at him determinedly, “I will be here now though, to protect you, because that’s what brothers are supposed to do.”

He swears he could see Tommy’s eyes watering, but his brother turns away and picks up the knife before he can confirm it, resuming to cut the potato.

Technoblade huffs at him amusingly and turns around to go back and check on Wilbur, though as he nears the door Tommy abruptly speaks up.

"It was _my_ fault that happened to Philza, don’t blame yourself- I shouldn't h-have tried to get you to figh-"

"Tommy." His tone darkens, more thunderous and dull then the raging storm outside. He even manages to scare himself, he doesn't turn but he can _feel_ Tommy flinch and halt in his movements. A part of him soaks up the fear like a sponge, a sponge that will never become saturated.

"Don't ever blame yourself, _I_ was the one who hurt him- not you." He walks away before Tommy can respond, feeling his eyes tear up.

Why would Tommy blame himself? Technoblade was the one who crippled him- 

_**‘It was a team effort, don't forget about me, Techie."** _

Technoblade growls and puts a hand to his head, closing his eyes and desperately trying to stop the voice from talking to him. Though his attempts are futile.

_**‘You still remember it so vividly, don’t you? That memory brings more pleasure than our old home.’** _

Just ignore it, just ignore it.

"I guess at that point it was just you and you alone. Your life was so pitiful and dull before I arrived."

Technoblade's eyes widen and his hands clamp over his mouth, sweat beading on his forehead as he tries to process what happened. Did he say that? Physically? That was the Blood G- nono he was the one with power. Technoblade was the one with control, he spent _years_ desperately stabilizing his mental condition so why was it acting up now?

He needed to be _stable._ To protect his family- Wilbur. He was going to check on Wilbur wasn't he? He would deal with the Blood God later _later_ _-_ he needed to check if Wilbur was okay.

Thankfully his thoughts get disturbed as a voice drifts down the hallway, bringing him back to reality.

"So do you agree to this, Dream?"

Technoblade hears the suspicious voice intrude his thoughts and stops walking, deciding to take small quiet steps towards the door.

The murmurs get louder until he can just make out what they were saying.

"-much do you need?" He only manages to catch half of Dream’s question, but it’s enough to get a grip on the conversation being had behind the closed door. Technoblade places a hand on the wall to steady himself as he places his head against the wood.

"Enough to obliterate it all." That was Wilbur's voice, what did he mean by obliterate?

Wilbur's laugh is muffled from the door but it still manages to loudly ring in his ears, it freezes his body and cools his blood to ice. It was the laugh of a madman, one that sent terror throughout his body. Sinking into his marrow and nerves like poison- which currently scream at him to run away before he gets caught.

Obliterate?

What did he mean?

He just wanted Lmanberg back right?

Did he lie-

"Technoblade is that you?" Wilbur's pointed question causes him to move on instinct, he opens the door and walks through, feeling eyes burn into him uncomfortably.

"I just wanted to check on you." He manages to mumble out the words, not daring to look up. 

"Did you hear anything?" He tries to force himself to stop flinching, but he still ends up tensing at the accusing tone in Wilbur’s voice.

"N-no! What were you saying?" The words hurriedly rush out and he prays he is believed.

Wilbur sighs and walks over to him, patting him on the back and tugging him into a hug, "I know you wouldn't lie to me, right?" The feeling of suffocation creeps back, multiple alarm bells ringing loudly in his skull. But he can’t pull himself away, he wouldn’t want to disappoint or upset Wilbur.

" _Right_?"

He gulps back a stutter and speaks as clearly as he can, “right..."

|||Dream POV||| 

His eyes narrow at the scene playing out before him. There was a lot to take in and a lot of context Dream was obviously lacking. Why was Technoblade so acting so submissive to Wilbur? And why was Wilbur talking to him so creepily?

He didn't have any brothers but even he knew that was suspicious behavior. Dream saw Technoblade through the door long before Wilbur did -after all he was used to being aware of his surroundings at all times- and his shadow under the doorframe did not go unnoticed. Dream knew Technoblade was lying, but what he didn’t know was whether or not _Wilbur_ knew he was.

“Sorry to interrupt whatever this is- but I was talking to Wilbur-”

“Hush Dream, look, how about I’ll give you a few days to think it over and we can talk more then?” Wilbur abruptly interrupts him, all madness seemingly dissipates from whatever psychotic rant he was going on about earlier. Dream ponders on the deal, Wilbur wanted TNT and in trade of that he would be willing to dish out information. But how desperate was he that he would give a madman explosives? The fate of Lmanberg- or Manberg- didn’t matter to him, information did.

His gaze drifts to Technoblades, whose eyes are clouded with a storm of negative emotions. He seems stiff and uncomfortable in Wilbur’s embrace, yet too eager to push him away. Just how messed up has Wilbur been acting in general?

From all that Dream has seen with Technoblade, he was slightly unstable but he stood his ground quite frequently. His first encounter of Technoblade gave him a real fight, something he had been missing for years. His second encounter caught him off-guard, something that hadn’t occurred in a long time. But now the piglin hybrid looks scared out of his skin.

Wilbur whispers something he can’t hear, then walks away, leaving to two alone and standing in the room. The fireplace crackles, wood popping and spitting at the cold stone underneath, and for a moment it is the only sound in the room, before Technoblade sighs shakily and takes a seat at the table. Dream shuffles down across from him, waiting for something to happen, but all he gets is Technoblade putting his head in his arms.

Dream wants to crack open his mind and explore his thoughts, what he was thinking, what he hides. Who he talks to in such an angry voice, who he cries about. But right now? Dream wanta to comfort him, his heart strangely aches at the sight of such a sad and pitiful man. But Dream was no comforter, so he just sits there and observes.

“Techno…”

“What were you guys talking about?”

“Huh?” Technoblade is now looking up at him, eyes half closed and glimmering with a sheen of clear liquid.

“I said, what were you guys talking about?”

“Well now that’s a secret- but I would be willing to trade one of mine for one of yours.”

To his surprise, Technoblade legitimately considers the deal despite him only being half serious, before sighing and leaning back in his chair. “Sure, whatever...”

Dream’s mind almost explodes, he has to refrain himself from slamming his hands down onto the table in glee, “W-wait real-? I mean, okay do you want to ask me first?”

“You already know my question.”

“Yeah. Right, okay.” Dream pauses and takes a deep breath, calming his exhilarated nerves, “Wilbur asked me for TNT, he didn't specify why but it's painfully obvious why he would want explosives.”

Technoblade falls silent, his eyes droop to the floor and his fists curl tighter, paling to a light gray. Dream can tell he’s shaking, though he can’t tell if it’s anger or something else. After a few moments Technoblade looks up and nods, motioning Dream to ask his question next.

He has to think to himself for a few moments, he has many questions he wants answers to, who does Technoblade talk to when he's clearly by himself? Who is the winged hybrid in the photo- but if he asks that one Technoblade would know he broke into his house. Dream nervously chuckles to himself, if he found out about that the next fight might end with his head on a spike.

His mind lights up with an idea, "why do you have such a strong aversion to blood?”

The silence that follows is prolonged and strained. Technoblade barely moves in the time spent staring, almost like a statue. Dream takes the time to soak in his appearance, he -politely- notices the the front of his shirt is damp, slightly sticking to his skin. His pink hair was pulled into a ponytail, transforming it into a flowing pink waterfall.

“I frequently lose control when I see blood, I am a piglin hybrid after all and we are known for our bloodthirst.”

The _audacity_ of this man. Dream knew there was more to the story, there was no way that all of this was because of some second _instinct_. When he had pushed his neck against the sword’s edge the pure terror that flashed through Technoblade’s eyes was an emotion he hasn't seen in a long time. It was the sinking fear that only comes accompanied with foul memories.

“I see, so if I cut myself right now-”

**“** _W_ ** _e_** would _kil_ ** _l_** y **o** u.”

His desolate and disembodied voice sends cold shivers down Dream’s spine, like an eerie calm before the storm. The sudden change was almost like someone else was talking.

Dream can’t remember the last time he ever felt like this, so he only manages to bring himself to cautiously nod, mind racing with thoughts. Though one question stands out above all others.

What did he mean by _we_?


	11. Chapter 11

_“What did you want father?” The pinkette sits down next to Philza on the couch, letting his hooves clink against the wooden floor below. His curious but fearful eyes observe his father’s every move for any signs of anger, was he going to get punished for hurting Wilbur? He didn't mean to hurt anyone, it was an accident. What if the voice was right and-_

_A hand on his shoulder interrupts his mind before it can spiral down in chaos._

_“What I am going to give you now, I need you to take good care of it until a time of great need requires it,” as always Philza’s voice fills him with an indescribable warm calmness, the painful beating of his heart soothes. Something heavy is dropped into his hands, which he glances down to identify._

_A thin but long vial fits comfortably in his palm. The unscratched and crystal clear glass curls around with smooth edges, acting as a barrier to stop the shimmering liquid inside from leaking out. Technoblade rotates the object around in his palm, inspecting the vial further until he finally looks up with confusion on his face._

_“What is this?”_

_“It’s my blood,” Philza’s wing creeps around his body and rests on his shoulder like a blanket, the soft touch of feathers brushing against his skin slightly tickling him, “hybrid blood is different from human blood, it’s more potent, magical I guess you could say.”_

_“What do you mean by different? How is this supposed to help me?_ _" His eyes never leave the liquid, despite the rising desire to drink it he finds that the slightly foggy glass helps nullify the thirst._

_“Do you know what causes your bloodthirst?” Philza grabs his shoulder and turns the pinkette around to face him, his face was neither expectant nor demanding, just patient._

_“The Blood God?” He wasn’t sure why he was being asked this, whenever he craved blood the voice was talking to him._

_“No, the Blood God feeds off of your bloodthirst, manipulates your emotions so you give in to it. It’s your piglin instincts that give you bloodlust.” As Philza says this, his finger lightly pokes one of Technoblade’s ears, fingers curling into his hair to ruffle playfully. The pinkette leans into the touch and quietly purrs, “as long as you keep that in check, you stay in control.”_

_“So if I want to hurt something, drink the blood?”_

_“Yes Techie, it will help, and remember to always stay strong.”_

_Stay strong?_

_Stay strong. Stay strongstaystrongstaystrong._ **_Stay strong_ ** _._

|||Wilbur POV|||

Everything was moving so perfectly it made him giddy, the feelings he gets are backed up by waves of exaltation. It sparks in his stomach like fireworks and in his throat in the form of uncontrollable giggles, emitting from a neverending grin stitched to his face. His plans were absolutely foolproof, all he needed now was these final pieces to tumble into formation, then he could bring an end to it all.

One of the pieces in question sits across from him. A girl with short and messily cut black hair, a girl who fidgets and wears a greedy grin, one maybe even worse than his. He shoots an invisible scowl at the pathetic girl, though he doubts that she would care if he shot her a real scowl.

“S-so your brother is _The Blade_?! The Blood God’s v-vessel?” Her disgusting lips curl back even further, seemingly tearing at her pale skin.

“Yes.” Wilbur, although he knew little, at least knew about the cult. Philza had tried to explain as little as possible after the incident to keep him and Tommy oblivious. It might’ve worked when he was young, but now that he was older he delved deeper into Technoblade’s past in order to use it in his plans.

Colour him surprised because when he found out about their experiments on hybrids everything in his childhood with Technoblade began to shine with clarity. Now he understands why Technoblade did what he did that day.

But recently, he had also found out that there were survivors from the cult that had used Technoblade’s mind as a vessel for the Blood God, one of those said survivors- the girl across from him. Her black hair sticks to her neck, damp, stringy, he wasn’t sure if it was water or grease.

“God has answered my prayers! I knew he was still alive among us, still roaming the Earth and spilling the blood of the weak!” The insane girl laughs and claps her hands together when her personality abruptly flips and a suspicious frown morphs, “why are you telling me about this?”

Wilbur ponders what to say for a moment, he couldn’t tell her about any of his plans. Not that it would matter, soon she would be dead for all he cared. He just needs her to do her part in his performance. He just needs Technoblade to be in a bad enough mental state that his emotions are easily malleable, the final _surprise_ at the end of his finale.

“That doesn’t matter, what does matter is I know where he will be today, and you can do what you want to. I know exactly what to do to get him alone and since you want that, I can tell you how.” Her fleering face transforms a disgusting expression of desire and lust.

“It would be oh so holy if you would give me this information!”

Wilbur taps his fingers against the table, humming his tune with delight.

|||Schlatt POV|||

Schlatt watches the door as his fingers idly tap on the desk in front of him, a habit of his when he isn’t doing anything.

Morning light filters through the curtains in golden ripples, causing his stinging eyes to squint and face downward. Schlatt was still experiencing his morning hangover from last night, which wasn’t uncommon for him. Most of his nights were filled with drinking, he abused his ability to drink high doses of alcohol until he would eventually pass out.

Last night was different, though. He was drinking with an intention in mind: to calm his nerves. Today Dream was going to come by and either deny or accept his offer.

That day the pinkette had come and held Dream hostage, he was trying to make a deal. He wanted Dream to back him up in his reign, and in return he would make his presence more known.

Schlatt didn’t completely understand why Dream wants his name to be out there, maybe he wants more conflicts, maybe he wants more influence or power. Whatever his reasoning was, it wasn’t relevant. What Schlatt did know was this deal would increase his power by a big margin.

His mind reflects back to that meeting with Wilbur and Tommy he had in front of the wall’s ruins. Wilbur seemed a lot more… unhinged ever since his exilement. Which would normally be good as unhinged people tend to act on emotions more than plans.

No, the problem was that hybrid. He was obviously strong, he had a certain presence that radiates power. Not the kind that Schlatt had, Schlatt’s power came in his words. The pinkette’s power came with his strength. 

Having someone like that with Wilbur was a safety hazard ready to go catastrophically wrong, but Schlatt was still unable to come up with a way of stopping it. He could tell however, that the piglin hybrid had some issues of his own. He didn’t seem like he completely trusted Wilbur, as Schlatt’s words had made him act out. 

Violence was a common method for people to deflect their problems, though Schlatt had his own ways he never personally used violence himself. 

Maybe he could convince the pinkette to come to his side, he just needs a certain key element. He needs to know what the hybrid _wants_ , then he would use that.

His thoughts end once a knock at the door catches his attention, “come in.” He waves his hand as the door creaks open and a certain masked man enters the room.

“Good to see you, Dream,” Schlatt leans up and grins, stopping his tapping while placing his hands folded on his lap, “so let’s just get straight to the point then, shall we?”

“I don’t know if I want to agree to this,” Dream doesn’t hesitate, though Schlatt wouldn’t expect him to doubt his own words.

“Hm? And Why not? We both would benefit from this arrangement, I would get a powerful ally and you would get more recognition.”

“I have some other things I need to sort out with someone first, that’s my only focus at this point,” Dream takes a seat on one of the spare chairs set up in front of the desk. “Plus, depending on who you choose to have conflict with, it might in turn affect my interests.”

Schlatt ponders on a second, it was obvious to the both of them he wanted to strip Wilbur and Tommy of all power they had. That hadn’t changed, so what changed to have Dream go back on the deal now? His mind drifts back to the encounter with the pinkette at the nether portal, as well as Dream’s response.

_‘That’s one point for him, we’re even now.’_ That’s what he had said, things begin clicking together and Schlatt lets out a chuckle.

“Oh I get it, you’re afraid of getting that piglin hybrid involved with any sort of war, right? Do you have a fancy for him or something?" The mere thought of Dream getting attached to any sort of person made him laugh, as well as more intrigued.

Dream tenses, for any normal person it would have gone unnoticed, but Schlatt was no normal person.

“You'd be right, I have certain interests when it comes to him and I would like for them all to be left alone for the time being.”

“For the time being, huh?”

“Wilbur and Tommy are…” Dream trails off, not wanting to finish the sentence and give him any information. Schlatt can understand why, but whatever relates the pinkette back to Tommy and Wilbur he will find out. He always does after all.

“Fair enough, I can understand your motives to not accept the deal.” Schlatt stands up and hands him a note, specifically a pass to enter whenever he needs it, “if you change your mind or want to make another deal feel free to come by anytime.”

Dream accepts his handout and folds it before tucking it away in his pocket. He nods his head and quietly walks out without saying a word. 

Schlatt was a bit disappointed the deal didn’t process through, but he had other things on his mind now. Technoblade, he faintly remembers Wilbur calling him that. He would have to keep an eye on him, but not him specifically.

Tubbo, that boy would listen to anything he asks. He’ll get him to keep an eye on Technoblade’s movements and go from that.


	12. Chapter 12

_🚨Warning🚨_

_This chapter has heavy implications and events leading up to rape. The rape itself is not described, only implied._   
_If it triggers you, skip the section marked with the 🚨._   
_Stay safe and positive folks!_

-

|||Technoblade POV|||

“Why are you asking me, Wilbur?” Technoblade raises an eyebrow in surprise, elbows resting on the table in front of him. A book and glass dangle from his hands as he twists his body to face his brother.

“Because Tommy is busy hunting and I need to do… something soon.” Wilbur doesn’t go into detail, instead opting to glance away from him.

Technoblade shrugs off the lack of a proper response. “I don’t think it’s safe for me to go into town-”

“C'mon you're the strongest guy I know!" He spins back to face Technoblade with a wide smile as he pats him on the head, his ear flicks in response, “you should have more faith in yourself!”

Technoblade sighs and struggles to come up with an argument. He should just go, to be helpful. As long as he was quick and efficient there shouldn’t be any problems, plus as far as he knows people don’t actually care about hybrids. He might get a few stares but he could manage with that.

He depressingly bookmarks his book and makes a show of putting it down. Today was supposed to be a relaxing day, Technoblade wasn't one for breaks but recently he has been feeling a bit unhinged. As uncomfortable as doing nothing is, if it helps him, it helps his family. 

"Thank you Technoblade, I don't know what I'd do without you." At least Wilbur's comforting words help him stay positive. After that one night Wilbur had been switching from happy to mad quite often, his eye bags had grown and darkened, and his words harsher. 

But Technoblade wouldn't blame him, Wilbur was under a lot of stress. He was exiled and has to take care of Tommy now.

"I'll be back before dark." Technoblade shuffles to the door and tugs on his cloak, feeling the fur snuggly settle down against his neck.

“Hey Technoblade… do you know what karma is?” The question catches him off guard, he turns back to face Wilbur, who smiles gleefully.

“Yes? What about it?”

“Nothing, I just think you should try to be nice today, and collect that good karma, ya’know?”

“Sure,” it was a simple sentence, but Technoblade feels like there is a double meaning behind it, has he been acting any ruder recently? Maybe Wilbur was trying to politely tell him to be kinder.

"Be safe, _Techie_."

He doesn't know how to respond to the nickname being used by Wilbur, so he brushes it off as if it was never uttered and steps outside of the base.

A soft and warm breeze brushes his face as he waves and closes the door, Wilbur’s face echoing an expression of pride. Was Wilbur proud of him? Technoblade hopes he is.

Technoblade spends the next few minutes alone with his own thoughts, looking down and watching as his hooves sink into the soft soil below with each step. The sun glares down the sliver of exposed neck poking out from under the fur, as well as the tips of his ears. He probably should’ve brought a hood to hide them. 

**_‘Don’t hide your ears, your hybrid traits are a symbol of power.’_ **

“Yeah well they also make me the focus of attention, which could in turn make me a target.” Technoblade hunches his shoulders and pulls the fur further up his neck, loosening some strands of hair from his ponytail to tuck in front of his ears. Hopefully that would be enough to keep some eyes off him.

His shifting gets interrupted by a mass of green colliding with his side, his feet only find air as the ground gets closer. 

“Fuc-!” He sees a flash of green and immediately recognises Dream, who grunts as he grabs Technoblade to stop him from tripping over onto the ground, hands firmly grasping his shoulders for balance. Dream chuckles from above him and Technoblade feels heat rush to his cheeks. 

He pulls himself back and brushes his cloak of any dirt, clearing his throat and hiding his face under the loose bangs that dangle in front of his eyes.

"Hey.." He mumbles and looks off to the side, not wanting to face Dream- despite the mask that blocks his expression.

"Hey Techn-Pinkie, care to explain why you weren't watching where you were walking?" His voice drips with smug amusement, and Technoblade scowls at him. Why was he so intent on using the word Pinkie?

"I-it doesn't matter!"

He saunters off with an guarded expression, trying to brush off the embarrassment and look unbothered. His cheeks burn like an oven. He didn't know why he cared so much, it might be because Dream was more focused on him rather than his perceived strength, or the thing lurking in his mind.

Technoblade never had to worry about how he presented himself, people only focused on his abilities. He didn't know how to deal with these emotions, as giddy as they were.

Dream rushes to catch up with him, matching his pace while his mask peers up at the sky.

"How have you been this morning?" Dream asks him and bumps his arm lightly.

Of course he couldn't have his peaceful silence, Technoblade shrugs his shoulders half-heartedly and receives another playful punch to his arm. "I wanted to relax today but Wilbur wants me to go into town to get sand from the market. Apparently he's after a specific kind."

"Oh really now?" Dream muses out loud and Technoblade can feel the cogs in his brain spin rapidly. 

“What’ve you been doing today?” Technoblade hopes that he continued the conversation correctly, not wanting to come off as clingy or awkward. Luckily though Dream doesn’t seem to mind and responds with a chuckle.

“Just some dealing, nothing of importance.”

He's at least thankful that Dream doesn't mention last night. What he said was a mistake, all that information about Wilbur did was give him more anxiety about his brother. Technoblade knew he should be trusting Wilbur, he is obligated to after all, Wilbur trusts him so how can he not return the favour? But he couldn't stop doubting everything around him, he doesn’t remember Wilbur being this cold and expectant. 

And to top that off he gave off important information about himself to Dream, albeit holding back a few details about his aversion for blood. He despised people knowing about his bloodthirst, though there weren’t many ways it could be exploited, right?

Their idle chatter continues and soon the dirt road under them converts to gravel, becoming more refined as they near the town. Technoblade feels a sudden rush of anxiety, slowing down and causing Dream to glance back.

"You okay-?"

“Yeah.. I’m just- I haven’t been in such a public area for a while.” Surprisingly, Dream places a comforting hand on his shoulder and leans in to face him.

“It’ll be fine, even if you _somehow_ can’t defend yourself I will.” 

The same warm feeling coils like smoke in his stomach, giving him a strange bubbly sensation. Technoblade quickly snaps out of it and swipes Dream’s hand off his shoulder, mumbling a quiet thank you before walking ahead into the crowded cobblestone streets, quickly pursued by Dream. 

A few heads glance in his direction but most people seem too absorbed in their own doings to pay any attention. He sighs in relief and tries to pinpoint where the market square was.

He felt out of place, not a single hybrid in sight. His pink hair stands out like a sore thumb in a field of browns and blondes. Technoblade's back carries his emotions and hunches him over, he tries to make himself appear smaller, to avoid the growing eyes watching him from all sides.

"It's over in this direction!" Dream calls out and he looks over his shoulder to see him bounding in the opposite direction and waving wildly.

Technoblade is about to follow suit when a strong hand clamps around his wrist, his mind floods with alarms as he spins around, only to see a black haired girl nervously staring at the ground. She looked so scared, all previous fear melts into pity as he stares down at her.

"Did you need something?" He asks out of sympathy, slightly disturbed at the way her twitching fingers sink ever so slightly into his skin.

After a few moments she finally looks up, "that a-axe…you know how to use it, right? I-I need help..."

Her voice is strangely familiar, he squints his eyes as he tries to remember her but the memories scamper away before he can grasp them. Frustration bubbles in his gut, why was he having so much difficulty remembering?

His thoughts get interrupted as Dream jumps from behind and wraps his arms around his shoulders, almost toppling him over.

"What the-!"

"Whatcha doing, Pinkie?"

Dream beams from under the mask and Technoblade feels her grip tighten around his wrist. The action causes him to flinch and let out a small yelp. Jesus, how long were her nails?

"This lady was asking for help, not sure why though.”

“M-my front door was off its hinges! I think someone b-broke in!” She stammers in a panic, tears bubbling in her eyes.

"If you want, I can help too.” For some reason the girl’s face seems to ghost a scowl at his offer, but proceeds to nod rapidly. She squeals in relief, tears now trickling down her cheeks she drowns him in thank you's.

Dream looks up at Technoblade in confusion, who only looks away in response. The girl was kind of suspicious, but he found himself struggling to turn her away. Her voice awoke a faint and vague memory in him, a memory he wanted- needed to remember? A part of his mind wordlessly told him to go, it was the same feeling of the voice whispering to him, only it lacked actual words, it solely held emotion.

He wouldn't be able to ask her any questions with Dream around. He didn't want him knowing any more than he did. So hopefully he could catch a time with her alone to interrogate her.

“Well okay then, just make sure to not take long, I get bored easily,” Dream shrugs it off and joins them, though she doesn’t let go of his wrist.

“Lead us to your house.”

Technoblade doesn't recognize any of the buildings surrounding them, they fade to a buzz of colour and sound. The girl loosens her grip but still urgently tugs him towards her building. He looks down at the girl, her black hair is matted and stringy, was she poor perhaps? It would explain why she was so fearful about someone breaking into her house.

As they near he sees the house in question, the front door off its hinges and laying on the lawn next to the entrance. He understands why the girl must be terrified, he also recalls when people broke into his old, old home, though it's vague and faint the emotions of being stolen still linger.

"I-I'm too scared to go in by m-myself…" She murmurs and looks down in embarrassment.

"I'll go first. It’s okay." Technoblade wants to get this over with so he can question her, he wields his axe while looking back at Dream, “keep an eye out in case anyone runs out.”

Once Dream nods in response he then cautiously enters through the broken door frame. Silence responds. Nothing else seems broken, he decides to scan every inch for signs of a break in.

🚨

But nothing is in there, he checks the rooms- the kitchen, even the bathroom. Only to be empty handed, after checking the last room in the back he turns around to speak when something catches his eye.

A young boy that couldn’t have been much older than Tommy, peers through the window, brown hair brushed back to reveal dim greeny blue eyes. The moment Technoblade makes eye contact with him he freezes in panic, he can see it in his expression. 

Two things happen simultaneously, Technoblade notices the boy hurriedly turn around to face someone, and a blunt object slams into the back of his head. His body immediately collapses. Pain vibrates through Technoblade's head as his heartbeat thunders in his ears like explosions. His hands grab at the wound to desperately try and soothe the ache as he tries to open his eyes and look at the window again. But everything in his vision doubles, dizziness smudging his surroundings to a blur.

At that point the boy was talking to someone outside, though Technoblade couldn’t see who. Though he could tell the boy was panicked and caught off-guard. Who was he talking to?

He doesn't feel any pain when something presses against his back, his eyes shoot open as he tries to grasp his axe, but a foot kicks it away before he can grab it. Technoblade wasn't even sure he was reaching for the right axe, multiple axes conjugate in his vision.

"W-wha the 'uck are you doin'?" He slurs his words, vision wobbly from the pain and mind still dazed.

"Shh shh, it's fine…" The familiar feminine voice tries to calm him while tugging at his hands.

The haze throbs behind his eyes, mouth and throughout his brain in the form of heavy fog. Technoblade struggles to form a coherent thought until the pain that shoots from his wrists snaps him out of his dazed state.

He finds himself unable to pry his wrists apart, a sharp burning pain scraping against his skin every time he tries to move them. Panic washes over him in increasing waves as he desperately grinds his wrists as far apart as they go.

"I've waited so long for this… so many years to finally get to do this!" The blackette yanks his aching body around onto his back and sits on his chest, face sprawled with a disgusting lasciviously.

"W-what the hell are you talking about-?" He casts a glance to the door, where was Dream? Surely he would’ve heard this happening right now. _Where was he?!_

"Shut up! That's not you talking is it, God? That's just the _vessel,_ I'm talking to the _Blood God!_ " She hisses hysterically and slaps him across the cheek. Technoblade yelps at the sharp pain, before growling angrily. His ears draw back against the sides of his head and his eyes narrow.

"A-anyway as I was saying… I'm trying to repay you for what you did, for how you helped me and my brothers and sisters. For ridding the world of the weak!"

The familiar usage of words brings him back to his childhood, the words the hooded people threw around like dirt. Disgusting, foul dirt. Another growl rumbles out as the memories and words finally click together, the pieces of the puzzle finally fitting to form a memory.

"Are you from the cult?" Technoblade whispers in disbelief, a sudden fear drowning him. He thrashes against her weight as his powerlessness truly begins to settle in, he feels his body shudder. Now he understands why he recognized her voice.

He hadn't managed to kill all of them, he only massacred the ones who tried to hurt him, the rest of the survivors had separated but still worshiped the Blood God in secrecy, which is what kept him up at night. At the time he was just a small child and the only thing on his mind was escaping, the repercussions of leaving a few alive never occurred to him.

"I remember you quite clearly, you ran a lot, you refused our gifts. That's why I'm ignoring you vessel."

Something sticky seals his lips and he snarls from under the tape. Her leering starts to terrify him as he realises how little control he had over his situation. His eyes widen, he can feel the walls turn to sludge and slide away, the room spins while oxygen evades him. He can hear it again. Now the icy water has plunged him under, his heartbeat painfully slams against his chest.

The dripping of blood, the stench of corpses, the rope-

"I don't have any people to sacrifice for you God, but I do have something sacred of my own~" She giggles and unties the red sash holding his pants up, scrunching up the long piece of silk and throwing it against the wall. "My virginity is sacred to me, it's the only valuable thing I have left to offer."

His panic increases tenfold as he squirms to get away, screaming muffled from under the tape.

She suddenly stands up and walks to the door, closing it and locking it behind her.

Technoblade takes the chance to whip his head towards the window, whoever the boy was had run away. He tries to scream at them to help, to come back, but both of the people outside were gone.

_Nono please come back, help me!_

_Anyone, please help me!_   
_._   
_._   
_Dream please help…_

🚨  
|||Dream POV|||

(for clarification the start of this POV starts at Tech entering)

He was waiting outside expectantly, the girl shuffling impatiently beside him with a strange blank expression. A stark contrast to the way she was acting earlier. It raised suspicion in him, and Dream knew to never doubt his instincts.

He didn't want to bother helping her, but for some reason Technoblade seemed adamant about listening to her.

The girl puts on a disgustingly artificial face as she tugs his sleeve, she probably didn’t know that Dream was watching her.

“D-do you think he’s safe?”

“Yes.” Dream swipes her hand off his sleeve with severe impatience, what was taking Technoblade so long? 

The overbearing heat from the sun was starting to get to him, beads of sweat collecting above his brow and the back of his neck. Dream shifts his weight onto another foot while tugging at the collar of the hood, maybe he should go inside and check on Technoblade. 

A sudden flicker of brown and black catches his gaze, he immediately sheaths his blade and observes the silhouette as it creeps behind the house.

“I’ll be right back…” He half-heartedly warns the girl before stalking off, following whoever was trying to peep into the house. His footsteps bounce quietly off the brick walls as they close in to what could be considered an alleyway.

Once he turns the corner he spots who it was, and it stops him in his tracks.

“Tubbo? What the hell are you doing?”

The boy in question spins around expeditiously, eyes wide like an animal that’s just been caught. His hands withdraw from the windowsill as he raises them in a desperate attempt to play it off.

“I-I- I’m just here to- uh…" Tubbo struggles to finish his answer, eyes rapidly darting from wall to window to try and find a way to escape. 

“To do what?”

“U-uhm, I was sent-” This time when Tubbo’s eyes land on the window his face contorts into one of fear and horror, Dream was about to pry into it when he is suddenly rammed into by the small boy.

Dream stumbles for footing before tailing after Tubbo, he needs answers. He mentioned something about being sent here, was he being spied on? His feet pound into the gravel and leave dents in the path, the knife tucked back into his belt so he can run faster.

Technoblade was a capable person, he would come back after catching Tubbo. For now his eyes were set on the boy that dances through crowds of people, while Dream just hurriedly shoves them out of the way.

Dream could tell he was heading towards the forest, but that might be a more ideal and secluded place to catch him, so he slows his pace down to give Tubbo some false sense of security.

Once entering the forest, Dream subconsciously thanks the trees for blocking the sun. He starts to speed up and jumps on top of Tubbo, pinning him down to the forest floor.

“P-please don’t hurt me!”

“Who sent you?” Dream swiftly pulls out his knife and holds it to Tubbo’s neck, who squeals and starts sobbing. He feels a pang of guilt, but his safety was worth more than some kid’s comfort.

“I can’t tell yo-” The blade presses further and Tubbo cries out, “S-schlatt!”

His mind blanks for a moment at the answer, why the hell is Schlatt sending such a wimpy kid to spy on him? 

“Why is he sending you to spy on me?”

Tubbo gazes up with a confused expression, “n-not you, Technoblade.”

Well that's just fucking great. Dream leans up from his position and hisses in annoyance, what was Schlatt planning? Why did he want a spy on Technoblade of all people? 

There's no way Schlatt was interested in Technoblade, right? He tries to recall any signs he might've missed, maybe it was because Technoblade was on Wilbur's side.

If Schlatt was smart, which he was, he would try to remove any power Wilbur has. Technoblade could be considered power for him, but was that all?

“What the fuck is going on here?” Dream is surprised to hear Wilbur’s voice, he turns around to face the british man as he rests against a tree with an astounded face, as if his thoughts had conjured the man across from him. Dream narrows his eyes and scans his face for any suspicious emotions, but Wilbur seems to be legitimately confused, so he relaxes and walks towards him.

“Tubbo was spying on us,”

“You and Technoblade? But Technoblade’s at home.”

“What?” Dream couldn't believe his ears, Technoblade should still be at the house. He almost glares at Wilbur in complete disbelief, who just shrugs and leans up from the tree.

“I saw him on the way here, seemed a bit flustered so I assumed he just got some social anxiety. Looking back at it now, I should’ve just gone by myself, I regret sending him.” Wilbur’s head tilts to the ground as his expression morphs into that of sympathy, Dream can’t tell if it's fake or real, which causes a strange shudder to run down his spine.

“You sure you saw him head home?” Maybe he got worried that Dream left.

“Yes, you should go back too, I’ll buy the sand myself.”

Dream throws a glance back at Tubbo, only to see the boy gone, leaving behind an indent from where Dream had tackled him to.

He would have to question Schlatt the moment he has an opportunity. His mind recalls the note Schlatt had gifted him.

“I’ll go back then I guess, Technoblade must’ve had a reason if he decided to go home.” Dream turns around and begins to walk away, he didn’t want to talk with Wilbur anymore, he was unsettling. Wilbur reminded him of a puppet, a personality being faked. 

Too bad Dream doesn’t notice the smirk on Wilbur’s face, as Wilbur turns and heads towards the town.


	13. Chapter 13

_He hears crying, a quiet sobbing sound that is muffled by the walls seperating them. The pinkette stands outside his brother's door, worried but confused about what he should do._

_He should tell his father that Tommy was crying behind closed doors, but Tommy might feel betrayed if he sells him out like that. He knew that his brother liked to act tough, despite being sensitive to the cut of words. So the pinkette decides to just knock on the door a couple of times before opening it a sliver and slipping inside the bedroom._

_He sees Tommy with his face buried in his pillow, body shaking._

_"Tommy? What's wrong?" Technoblade takes a seat on the edge of the bed, the mattress sinking under his weight and alerts Tommy of his presence._

_He turns around and stares at Technoblade with shock, frozen and unable to respond. Technoblade doesn't rush him, he just leans back and awkwardly pats him on the back, trying to comfort him._

_Tommy sniffles and sits up, hugging the pillow between his legs and resting his chin on the fabric. His blonde hair tumbles in front of his puffy eyes, like a curtain of gold. "I-I don't know what to do-" he chokes on a sob and buries his face in the pillow again._

_Technoblade shuffles closer and pulls him into a hug, trying to be as gentle as possible._

_"What happened?"_

_"The people at school... are such fucking jerks!" Tommy sobs and curses while Technoblade sits there torn and confused. He doesn't know how to help him, Philza didn't allow Technoblade to attend school, instead deciding to homeschool him. He wasn't sure if it was because of his hybridness or if his father was worried he'd hurt someone._

_**'You hurt Wilbur, don't act like it's not justified."** _

_"I'm not!"_

_"T-techno?"_

_"..." He turns red with embarrassment and looks away, he didn't want to worry Tommy, the words just slipped out. Sometimes the voice would aggravate him to get a reaction, sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't._

_"It's fine, Tommy. You should probably go to father about this."_

_Tommy violently shakes his head, choking back another sob, "it won't help, asking for help will never h-help."_

_Technoblade's heart fills with guilt, he wants to help, but he doesn't know how._

_"Is there a way I could help then?"_

_Tommy pauses in his sobs to glance up at Technoblade, eyes filled to the brim with tears, "you would be willing to help me?"_

_"Of course, you are my brother after all."_

|||Wilbur POV|||

He has a good idea about what happened, so when he steps over the door frame and into the house he isn't surprised about seeing blood. Wilbur's grin widens as he roams throughout the house, it's dark and empty. Curtains pulled shut so hurriedly that a few of them dangle, broken. Wilbur peers down at the ground, blood and scratch marks dirty the floor, already dry and turning to a dark crimson-black.

He strains his ears to try and hear something, for a moment only silence returns, but soon enough he can hear the sobbing. Wilbur follows the noise, stepping over puddles of blood until he finally reaches the source. It takes a few moments to probably register the room itself.

In the center of the room he can see the black haired girl, unmoving. A suspiciously massive pool of blood surrounds the body, having sunk into her clothes. Wilbur walks over to her to inspect the damage, claw marks scatter all over her flesh, some sunk deep into her face, her neck and down to her arms. He can see the dim gray of bone and muscle from the wounds, still leaking with thin trickles of blood. He had expected her to get killed, so this outcome didn't bother him.

Wilbur sighs and stands up, glancing over to the corner of the room, where his brother was.

Technoblade is curled up into a tight ball, legs pressed together while his shoulders violently shake. The sobs Wilbur hears are choked back with heavy breathes, as if his brother was being strangled by the despair and anguish.

He hadn't seen him like this in a while. Not since he lost control with Philza.

Wilbur steps closer to him, getting on his knees to get on eye level with Technoblade, he doesn't seem to notice. His head is buried in his arms, Wilbur can see blood staining his sleeves and pants, an ugly brown etching itself into the threads.

And Wilbur can't seem to wipe the feral grin from his face, luckily Technoblade wasn't aware of it. He reaches in to pet his knotted hair, the pinkette flinches from the touch, body jolting upward and sobs becoming more strained.

"Technoblade... It's okay, I'm here, Wilbur's here now." The crying quietens but doesn't halt, he can see an eye peek out from under the sleeves. Technoblade's ruby eye peers into his, misted with a thick film of tears.

"W-Wilbur?" He chokes out before springing into Wilbur's arms, sobs finally flooding out with full force. His body trembles and his fingers dig into his trenchcoat. He could feel his chest become wet with tears but Wilbur just hugs back, ruffling his hair in a soothing motion.

"It's okay, Techie. I'll keep you safe."

"I-I- I'm sorry-"

"Why are you apologising?" Technoblade doesn't respond to his question, shaking his head further into the fabric.

The rest of the world slips away and it's just the two of them. Wilbur runs his fingers through his hair, it reminds him of dipping fingers into a stream.

Every now and then Technoblade would whimper out his name and other unidentifiable words. It fills Wilbur with pride, Technoblade, despite his rough exterior, was actually quite lonely. Wilbur had never seen someone so confusing, so desperate to put his trust into someone but filled with so much trust issues. It was good to use at least.

| ||Dream POV|||

He didn't know how long he was waiting outside his house for, he lays on his back watching as the sky is plunged into darkness. He waits as clouds build up. His eyes lazily trail over the glittering stars as they dance in the sky. But for as long as he waits he feels like time was standing still.

The grass of prickly under his skin, he absentmindedly scratches his wrists as he waits.

He had a mental list of things he needed to do. Dream needed to have a talk with Schlatt, he couldn't have that ram hybrid mess anything up between him and Technoblade.

Technoblade... He didn't know what to think, how he was supposed to feel about that pinkette. It's been a while since he's ever felt so stimulated and drawn to the emotions someone gives him. But in the end he only savoured the _emotions_ he felt with Technoblade, how much did Dream care about Technoblade himself?

At first, he thought Technoblade was just a passing phase. But why is he so adamantly waiting for him to return?

Dream shoves his head into his arms, groaning in frustration.

Whatever. He didn't need to address these feelings. He shouldn't feel guilty for leaving him in the house, his own safety could've been in jeopardy.

So why did he?

Eventually he does see something, a figure in the distance. A long flowing strip of fabric almost black in the night, Dream leans up excitedly, maybe it was Technoblade.

But as they get closer he knows it's not Technoblade, it's Wilbur.

Dream leaps up from the spot in the grass, crossing his arms as he stands in the way of the door. Wilbur looks up at him, moonlight highlighting his narrowed eyes and the upcurl of his lips. Dream takes a moment to look at him up and down, he notices the patches of blood littered on his clothing.

"Did you lie to me?"

"About what?"

Dream leans in and grabs him by the collar, tugging his face closer with a scowl, "you know what I mean wise guy, did you lie about seeing Technoblade?"

"What if I did?" He tilts his head, his lips pulling back into a sharp toothed smirk, "why do you care so much anyway?"

"I despise being lied to-" A hand grabs his wrist, though Wilbur makes no attempt to pull the hand from his collar.

"-Is that all? How do I know you're not just trying to steal Techie from me? Not that it matters, he's somewhere safe from you all."

A cloud briefly passes the moon, plunging the forest into darkness. With what little light there was, Wilbur's eyes seem to glow dimly, wide and crazed.

"What do you mean, 'steal'? Technoblade's his own person." Dream shoves Wilbur back and hisses with irritation.

"He's not just a person, even you must've noticed it by now right? How he talks out loud despite being alone, how blood activates something lustful deep inside of him?" Wilbur leans in, an eyebrow raised with mock shock, "he's a _weapon_."

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

But he wasn't just a weapon, if that was the case Dream wouldn't be so drawn to him. Dream didn't need more power, he wanted excitement. When Dream finally gets to learn something about him he gets a feeling of contentment, a feeling that doesn't fleetingly leave him like all the others. Dream can't tell if it's just his curiosity getting stronger or if it was something else.

"Don't act like you're some saint who cares about him, I know you're just infatuated with him. Right now you're feeling some buzz but once it fades you'll drop him."

Would Dream do that?

Dream thinks back to their first fight. How his heart was beating, his nerves on fire and blood pumping. It was beautiful, he wanted to feel that high again.

But he also remembers how seeing Technoblade blush today after nearly falling over made him giddy, it made him feel something he was scared of: a feeling of fondness, an affection. Getting attached is a weakness.

The fact that someone he had neutral terms with was now a danger to him because of Technoblade proved that.

Falling for emotions was not something he could afford to do again.

Wilbur walks past him, shrugging his shoulders whilst flashing a grin, "blood for the Blood God. That's what all those freaks say, right?"


	14. Chapter 14

|||Schlatt POV||| 

Schlatt lays on the docks while observing the sky, watching the stars glimmer like dying embers. His legs dangle just above the chilly ocean, shoes causing ripples in the water as they dip at the liquid.

Behind him a chorus of lights flicker from the rows of houses, a reminder of the people living there. A subtle reminder that he is in _control_ of all the people living there. That reminder gave him a sense of accomplishment- of pride. Sighing in content he takes another sip from the bottle glued in his hand, feeling the liquid vaguely burn his throat as it trickles down. The feeling was addicting, he didn't understand or bother to try and understand why it was.

He didn't have to think about it for long though, he hears shuffling from behind him. Schlatt could tell who it was immediately, the nervous patter of steps, the way they shift their weight and rub their hands together. So much noise, it was giving him a headache.

He idly tugs his tie from around his throat, feeling the fabric peel back from his hot skin. "What do you want, Tubbo?"

He hears a tiny yelp behind him, the shuffling stopping. He sighs and musters up the enthusiasm to turn around.

"Well?"

He adores the way Tubbo's head shoots up from his question, the slight fear and apprehension a glint in his eyes. It shows how much power he has over the small boy.

"I-uh- D-dream saw me, he knows you sent me to watch Technoblade." Tubbo stammers and rubs his hands together nervously. 

Schlatt frowns and lifts the bottle to take another sip, he doesn't miss how Tubbo flinches as he raises the bottle. He wasn't in the mood to hurt anyone today, if he needed to do that he could always take out his rising frustrations on Quackity.

"So you fucked up what I wanted you to do?"

Tubbo stammers and his chin trembles, on the verge of tears. Schlatt knew he wasn't going to get anything out of the boy if he scares him to death, so he stands up and pats him on the shoulder.

"Please tell me you _at least_ got some important information."

The disgust and terror that fills Tubbo's eyes makes Schlatt falter, before smiling in a sick curiosity, something must've happened to cause him to have such a strong reaction. Schlatt raises the empty bottle and uses it to tilt Tubbo's chin up, a threat evident in his actions.

"What did you see? Go ahead and say it." He raises his voice enough to get another flinch from Tubbo. He could probably smell the alcohol on Schlatt's breath.

"I-I- there was a girl- and she-" Tubbo tries to talk, but his voice gets stuck in his throat, tears welling up in his eyes as he raises a hand to his mouth, "I- it was awful-"

"Just fucking spit it out already!"

The tears begin to leak out, trailing down his cheeks and dripping onto the bottle, "I- I think I saw Technoblade get r-raped." He blurts it out and starts sobbing, Schlatt smiles in satisfaction after finally getting a proper answer from Tubbo.

He pulls the bottle back and throws it against the wooden planks below, it shatters and sprays shards of glass around them.

No wonder Tubbo was so choked up about it, poor little thing was probably traumatized about seeing something like that. But Schlatt needed more information and Tubbo's comfort was at the bottom of his list.

He throws an arm around the trembling boy, feeling as he tenses up under his grip, "tell me more."

It takes a while for Tubbo to spit out everything, but from what Schlatt can gather a girl had lured the piglin hybrid into an empty room and raped him. But what made him the most curious was the mention of Wilbur, apparently Tubbo had tailed him back to the house after Dream left.

It was pretty obvious to sort out the rest of the story from there, Wilbur had a big part to play in what happened. The cogs in Schlatt's mind begin turning. Even slightly tipsy from the alcohol he found it easy to piece together what happened.

Assuming that Wilbur had a hand in the events leading up to what happened with the pinkette- and if he got there first -then he would be able to say whatever he wanted while the pinkette was in a broken mental state. Schlatt could guess that Wilbur was probably trying to manipulate Technoblade into doubting everyone else while trusting solely him.

It was a smart plan, Wilbur knew what he was doing. He knew he needed weapons against Schlatt. 

But now that Schlatt had a decent portion of it figured it he could probably find a way to make it go in his favour. There was one last thing he needed to confirm though.

He thinks back to Dream talking about the hybrid.

"Tubbo, how angry was Dream when he caught you?"

The boy shivers, eyebrows furrowing as he hunches down, "h-he threatened me with a k-knife... he really didn't like me spying on him."

Schlatt is silent for a moment, but then begins to laugh, a dry cackle more sharp than the pieces of glass that coat the floor around him. Things were so perfect that he had to pinch himself, just to check that he was awake. The glee bubbles in his stomach- he wasn't sure if the sensation was from the alcohol or his emotions.

Dream was developing a _weakness_ wherever he liked it or not.

"Tubbo, you may leave. And you can stop snooping around other people's business for now."

The boy scampers off, the sound of Schlatt's laughter still ringing in his ears as he chuckles louder and louder.

  



	15. Chapter 15

|||Technoblade POV|||

Holes begin to puncture through the thin fabric as his fists tighten into the sheets, violently shaking as he keeps his head covered. A sheen of sweat coats his skin, despite his body already filled with a deep coldness.

Technoblade didn’t know what time of day it was, the curtains had been pulled shut by Wilbur before he left. He can’t remember the last time he slept, or maybe he was sleeping now, he couldn’t bring himself to move from his bed to check.

He shivers and curls deeper in a ball, nails beginning to dig into his palms.

He can’t remember- _but he can_.

He remembers what happened- but he doesn’t remember _killing_ her.

The blood that trickles down to his wrist was lava against his skin, the liquid causes him to flinch and erratically rub at the flesh. He itches and itches but it only brings more memories forward. In a desperate attempt to get rid of the thoughts he raises a finger to his teeth and clamps down on it. Technoblade feels the crunch underneath his teeth, the squishing of flesh, but the pain doesn’t register. Instead the itchiness finally dissipates, leaving him alone with his blank mind. 

He was at home, it was strangely quiet. But it was always quiet since he used to live here alone.

Technoblade’s mind hurts, and so does his stomach. It rumbles with the desire for food. Eventually the pangs of pain get too much and he has to pull himself up.

His eyes adjust to the little light in his room, the curtains weren’t completely opaque so a faint orange light manages to seep through the black fabric. Techonoblade’s eyes now sting, it looked like it was around morning. Even laying there brings memories, happy memories though. He remembers when he would wake up every morning to farm potatoes, he misses those days.

Raising a hand to his brow he wipes away the cold sweat, shuffling to get onto his feet as they shake. He remembers vaguely how he ended up here. Wilbur had helped him and brought him here, he said that being here would help calm him after…

The hands he had clamped around his stomach begin to feel foreign, like a stranger's hands were grabbing him and trying to hurt him- _her hands_. Phantom feelings creep along his skin, down his chest to his hips in a slow careful pace-

Technoblade doesn’t even realise that he’s crying until the droplets hit the floor below, he raises a hand to wipe at them, but they don’t stop pouring out. Like trying to seal a bucket with holes, the water pushes out from the gaps.

“W-why won’t it stop?” He starts rubbing at his cheeks until it burns with a wet rash, but the water won’t stop leaking. Saltiness enters his mouth, wetting his cracked lips as they curl down into a sob.

“Why?!” He screams and falls to his knees, slamming his fists against the wood, it cracks under his force. He feels the splinters pierce his skin but he doesn’t care.

_**‘You’re acting pathetic.’** _

“You’re the pathetic one! I fucking hate you! I want you to disappear!” Technoblade screams into the wood, the tears blurring his vision, sobs choking him.

_**‘I’m not going to disappear-’** _

“It’s your fault that happened…” Technoblade whispers under his breath, “if you never existed everything would be fine-”

_**‘Someone has been in here.’** _

The voice ignores the statement and Technoblade feels like he’s talking to himself, maybe he is truly going insane, he shouldn't have expected a response in the first place. The voice won’t care about his opinion or his feelings. The only person he could trust to do that was Wilbur.

Technoblade can’t bring himself to care that much about his privacy, but he still gazes up to find that the voice was right. Items had been shuffled around, the floorboard where he hid his-

_The vial!_

He immediately scrambles over to the gap, shoving stuff out of the way to find that the vial was gone. The feather was still there, _his_ feather.

He picks up the delicate object between his bloody fingers, looking at the gray behind the layers of tears blurring his vision. Someone had stolen the vial Philza had given him. He remembers the time it was given to him, the warmth of father’s wings and hands as he was pulled into a hug. The calm soothing words that told him to _stay strong_.

If only he could.

**_‘You need to find whoever took that, hybrid blood is quite satisfying to drink. I was looking forward to that.’_ **

Technoblade’s hand curls into a fist, “that’s all you care about, do you have any motivations besides bloodlust?”

_**‘I was created to spill blood, how I get it doesn’t matter to me.’** _

The Blood God should count itself lucky it can’t feel quandary, it had a purpose, it knew what it was supposed to do and that’s what it did.

Technoblade was almost the complete opposite, questioning his existence and purpose with every step he took. Even the people around him were confusing, he knew it was partly because he hadn’t had experience with people. The only person he could understand was Wilbur-

_**‘What about that masked freak?’** _

Did Dream care about him? If he did, then where was he when Technoblade needed him. Was he safe? What if Dream got attacked as well? Technoblade wanted to go check on Dream, see if he was safe and well, but the thought of leaving now scared him.

She can’t be the only remaining survivor of the cult, she just somehow got sound of him. Technoblade didn’t know how she knew where he’d be, was it just a coincidence? If so then he could run into any of the other ones at any time, he was never safe. 

But he can't afford to feel scared. He's had to deal with trauma for a long time, Technoblade doesn't deserve the self pity he's drowning himself in.

The floorboards creak under his weight as he cautiously steps outside his bedroom, everything was so familiar but he felt so out of place.

The potted plants he had taken care of for months are dead, dried leaves littering the shelves, but he still waters them out of habit. He does a lot out of habit.

He sweeps the floors and shelves, cleans the kitchen of any dust. When he reaches his fireplace he notices that the photos had been turned around.

He doesn't care enough to move them back. Technoblade instead decides to go outside.

It takes a few moments of calm breathing at the door before he gets enough courage to kick it open. A bright warm light floods into the room, plunging him into a soothing orange.

Technoblade stumbles outside, hand raised to shield his eyes. 

He should've expected this, why is he so sad then?

All his fields were rotten and brown, the dead leaves and stems coating the soil in a disgustingly dry brown. All his potatoes, his _effort_.

Technoblade couldn't bear to look at it right now, he trudges back inside with an angry scoff. He comes to the dreary conclusion that he didn't need to deal with any of this.

He plasters his broken finger and shoves all his items -including the feather- into a bag. He shouldn't come back here anymore, his brothers needed his help.

His brothers didn't deserve this, for him to pity his misfortunes. He had to move forward, push it all down to the dark places in his mind.

He didn't need pity. He didn't _deserve_ it.


	16. Chapter 16

“ _Hehe this is perfect!” Tommy giggles and claps his hands together with a mischievous grin plastered on his face. Across from him Technoblade sits with slight hesitancy, leg jumping nervously as he tries to reason with his brother._

_“F-father probably wouldn’t like it if I went to school with you, especially since I’m not allowed to go out in public…” His hands fidget with each other while his ears flatten against his hair, which had grown considerably long. Long enough to be tied back into a loose bun that hangs down to his neck._

_Tommy scoffs in exasperation, still grinning while poking his brother on the cheek and skipping back to his desk, “this’ll work out perfectly, all you need to do is jump out and scare them when they meet up with me.”_

_“Scare them…?”_

_“You’re a hybrid! Plus you can get really scary sometimes.” Tommy slightly stutters the last part, though his confidence quickly returns as he starts shoving books into his bag. Tommy murmurs to himself, as if he was having trouble convincing himself as well._

_It’s fine, it would be fine. All Technoblade had to do was scare a couple of bullies enough so that they would leave Tommy alone. He would do it, because after all the thought of his little brother being hurt boils his blood._

|||Technoblade POV|||

The walk back _home_ wasn’t as tedious as he assumed it was going to be, the sun peeks out from behind the clouds that idly sit with no threat of rain. It was a mix of hot and cold, a perfect kind of weather for venturing out. It helped lift Technoblade’s mood as he trudged through all the shrubs and grass.

He isn’t sure what to expect, but the moment he enters through the door Tommy jumps up from his seat with a gleeful shout. Across the table is Wilbur, sitting with a book in his hand, was that his book he was reading?

“Hey-”

“Where were you? You haven’t been here for three days!” Tommy starts to bombard him with questions, tears faintly bubbling in his eyes as he tries to stop a smile from creeping onto his face.

Was he gone for three days? 

“Didn’t Wilbur tell you? I just- n-needed a break…” Technoblade doesn’t want to specify or go into detail, it would make Tommy ask more questions, make him think about it more.

“He only said you needed time alone, what happened-?”

“Let’s not pester him, shall we?” Wilbur stands up and places the book on the table, walking over to pull Technoblade into a hug. He flinches from the contact, body jerking backward from his brother. But Wilbur doesn’t let go, the touch feels suffocating, the hands on his back tighten and he flinches again. 

Technoblade wants to pull away, to escape the feeling of being trapped- powerless- but he doesn’t want to upset his brother. The dark thoughts crawl in the back of his mind like bugs, getting caught in webs that clog up his ability to think. Eventually his heavy breathing subsides, and although he trembles slightly he manages to let himself be hugged.

A soft hand grabs his and Wilbur gently lifts his arm to inspect his wound closer, he raises an eyebrow at the plasters over the finger. The cooing words he gives are stiff, they feel unnatural, but they make Technoblade feel better regardless. He clings to the safety of Wilburs words like a lifeline, to the happiness shining in his brother's eyes.

“Well it’s good that you’re back because something _interesting_ came in yesterday, an invitation just for you.”

Technoblade sighs with relief as Wilbur pulls away, the cold air returning around him like a soothing blanket, only to tense up again when he reads the envelope placed into his hands.

_Dear Tehnoblade,_

_You are invited to Manberg’s Festival, a guest by the preisdent’s recomendation. We look forward to having you attend our festive celebritions!_

_-Manberg reprisentative, Tubbo._

“A festival? Why am I invited?” 

Technoblade turns the paper over, only to see the rest was blank, all that is written on it is a time and date.

“We don’t know, I’m guessing that Schlatt wants someone from Pogtopia to witness something that will break our spirits, but since we’re exiled so you’re the only option.” Wilbur looks off to the side with an angry glare, as if something else was annoying him.

"Pogtopia…?"

Tommy beams with pride as he puffs out his chest, "it was MY name suggestion!"

Technoblade stifles a chuckle, his brother really knew how to make him happier.

“But- is Technoblade going to be safe there without us?” Tommy calms down into an uncharacteristically serious tone. 

“He won’t be going alone, he’ll just be the only person they know is there.” Wilbur suddenly grins and walks back towards the table, picking up the book and scanning the last page, “this book is quite interesting, who would’ve guessed you’d read about war if you _despise_ it so much.”

The question feels targeted but he only brings himself to shrug, “just in case I ever need it…”

Wilbur grins again in response and bookmarks his page, handing it over to Technoblade before walking off. 

He is left alone with Tommy in silence for a couple of minutes, Tommy seems to check to see if Wilbur was around, until he looks up at him curiously, “Technoblade I need your help... promise to not tell Wilbur okay?”

“What is it?”

“I’m going to go meet up with Tubbo very soon and I was hoping you’d come with me!” Tommy looks up with pleading eyes, which manage to tug at his heart, “since Tubbo is scared about being caught- I thought: you’re the most observant person I know! You’d be able to keep an eye out for us!”

He revels in the silence, mind racing with ideas. He remembers Tubbo was brought up once before, but Wilbur didn’t seem too fond of him. Could he be trusted? If Wilbur didn’t trust him then Technoblade didn’t know if he could trust him either. But seeing Tommy look so distraught at his silent hesitance pushes him to make a quick decision.

“Sure, but if anything happens I will put your safety first, not his.” Tommy seems slightly confused, but nods eagerly regardless.

“I’ll go get ready then!” He bounds off through the door to get whatever he needs, leaving Technoblade to look down at the letter again.

It was short but got to the point, though a few things stood out. ‘ _A guest by the president's recommendation?’_ Schlatt was the president, he remembers the ram hybrid very well. His words were hot knives, something he’d have to avoid.

**_'What makes his words hurt so much, Techie?'_ **

He doesn't respond. He can't. 

Schlatt was just trying to trick him because he was an enemy. Technoblade has encountered those types of people before, he wants to turn Technoblade against Wilbur, but it won’t work on him. He has no reason to doubt Wilbur, nor trust Schlatt.

Tommy swiftly returns with a small backpack chucked over his shoulder and a wide grin, "let's go Blade!"

He's dragged somewhere he doesn't recognize, dangerously close to Manberg’s territory but not quite crossing over. The trees become less dense and the grass shorter, probably the result of people.

By the time Tubbo arrives Technoblade is sitting on a low hanging branch from the treeline, leg idly swaying as his eyes follow the boy cautiously. 

A part of him recognizes the boy but he can't seem to properly pinpoint it, which meant he might be connected to a bad memory. Technoblade is immediately put on guard as his eyes narrow in disgust. He was getting annoyed by these old thoughts of his.

"Tubbo!" Tommy leaps up from his spot under the trees and tackles the boy into a hug, laughing and sobbing. 

It's a heartwarming reunion that ends with them sitting together under the trees.

Most of their conversation goes by like a fuzzy fog, Technoblade gets distracted by the slightest of noises. A crinkle of leaves, the creaking of branches, even the rustling of nearby streams sends a loud panic in his head.

Eventually he hops down from the tree, grabbing the attention of the boys. It's at that moment that Tubbo finally notices.

His face floods with panic and horror as his eyebrows furrow, leaping up and backing away from the piglin hybrid.

"Y-you’re the-" Tubbo stammers out while Tommy looks between them in confusion. 

The same look of fear reminds him of the boy in the window, and sudden Technoblade remembers who he is.

A snarl coats his throat as his face contorts into one of rage.


	17. Chapter 17

|||Technoblade POV|||

  
Technoblade's eyes narrow, he can feel the bitter anger sweep across his face as the familiar boy backs away, knees shaking as he stumbles on his feet. Those blue eyes that glimmer with fear, the brown hair just reaching below his ears. It was the exact boy he had seen in the window. The same boy that turned and ran away from him before he got… 

"Technoblade? What's wrong?" Tommy shuffles towards Tubbo, his mouth creeping into a nervous smile as beads of sweat form above his brow, "why're staring at Tubbo like that?"

He unconsciously takes a step forward towards them, slow and steady as if he was stalking prey, hand drifting towards his axe that glimmers from beneath his cape. The swift action causes a painfully familiar panic to flash over his brother's face.

Technoblade knew he shouldn't be mad- should he? Tubbo was just a kid-

**_'You were just a kid too. But that didn't matter to them, why does this matter to you?'_ **

"Shut up, I'm trying to think." He snaps loudly enough for the two boys to flinch. Did he say that out loud? He can barely hear his own words underneath the painful thudding of his heartbeat, it slams against his eardrums like thunder.

"Technoblade whatever happened between and Tubbo- we can talk it out." Tommy tries to sooth his rising anger, hands raised in front of him in a protective manner as he tries to defuse the situation.

**_'They'll trick you, use and lie to you.'_ **

He glares upward, watching them tremble in fear.

"C'mon Blade! I’m your brother, remember me? We're on your side-"

**_'No they aren't-'_ **

His words don't register in his mind, only emotions. " **Shut the hell up before I carve those words from your throat**." And those emotions bubble in his gut like lava, burning his insides like a nauseatingly hot volcano. It sizzles within his skin, it itches it itches it itches- _it hurts_. 

All Tubbo had to do was help him, get attention maybe- _anything_! The voice is right, age didn't play a role in this, Tubbo could’ve done anything-

**_‘That’s right no mercy, remember how you felt. Being powerless under someone else's will. You don’t want to feel that again do you?’_ **

Fear freezes the flames within, he didn’t want to experience that again. He would much rather _die_ than feel those same hands on his body. 

Technoblade leaps at them, axe out ready to swing. The feelings itch on his skin and burn, but he can't afford to stop his assault now. If he does he’ll get hurt again.

Tubbo stumbles back as the axe glides a few centimeters away from his face. While Tommy scrambles to gain balance and tries to tackle him away from his friend.

His younger brother collides with him, almost knocking him over. But Technoblade gathers enough balance to stumble his way up and try to swing the axe again, when Tommy screams and cries out.

“Don’t hurt someone else important to me please!” 

Suddenly the barriers crumble like ash, letting a flood of memories consume his surroundings.

…   
..

_“T-Techie, stand down!”_

_The panic in his fathers voice causes him to look up, he wonders why his dad was here. The pinkette hopes he doesn’t get into trouble for being in school grounds._

_He wipes the blood away from his chin but eventually more pools and begins to drip. He can feel the flesh in his hands, it's tender, squishy. Technoblade wants to take another bite, to feel the warm meat crunch under his teeth._

_Beside him he can feel someone trembling, he brother perhaps? Why was he his brother so scared?_

_His body is tingly, it shivers continuously despite the heat in his mind and body. He briefly wonders what he looks like, but the scent of blood draws him back into the clump in his hands. When did that get there? Did he kill someone again? He doesn’t remember anything besides waiting for Tommy to call him out, it's like a cloud, his hands touch the memory but it evades his grasp._

_“Techie, I need you to step away from the body, remember the vial?” His father shuffles closer and shoves a hand into his pocket, pulling out the familiar glass. “Come over here and I’ll let you drink it, its hybrid blood remember? It’ll help your hunger.”_

_**‘He looks a lot more delicious than that small vial, don’t you agree?’** _

_Technoblade’s mouth waters at the sight of his fathers body, he can see the veins carrying fresh blood. The gray feathers coiling around in gigantic wings look tender, chewable even. Was the voice right? It was. He wanted fresh blood, needed it. He wanted to feel the liquid pour down his throat like honey, to taste the metallic flavour as it burns on his tongue._

_“T-Techie?” a desperate look appears on his fathers face as he looks at him with a begging gaze. For a moment his thoughts pause, he hates seeing fear on his father’s face._

_The world dissolves into a blur, is he moving? He hears a scream, someone telling him to stop, his hooves cuff the soil as he launches himself into the air._

_“Techie-!”_

_…_  
..

“T-techno?”

Where was he?

Technoblade’s hands tremble, the axe sticking out from the grass from a crooked angle. He felt a chill consume his body, heartbeat beginning to pound at his chest like fists.

He feels tears streaming down his cheeks, every breath he takes in is blocked by sobs clogging up his throat. He couldn’t breathe through all the mindaching memories.

Technoblade doubles over, taking a step back and clawing at his hair. A sharp pain jerks his body upward as his broken finger grinds against his skull. The pain wasn’t enough, everything is too suffocating, the corners of his vision fill with a black void and the landscape begins to smudge.

“Tech-”

“Shut up! You know not to mention Philza!”

For some reason, the bite in his words causes Tommy to still, before his posture straightens and anger floods his face. 

“Why?! Why can’t I ever bring up _my own father_ around you? Because you refuse to talk to him?!” Tommy yells, voice cracking as he grabs his shirt with his fist, even through his own tears Technoblade can see the ones the prick in Tommy’s eyes.

“I want everything to work out, but you hide like a _coward_! I-I just want my old brother back! I just want everything to fix itself! I- I just-” Sobs wrack his frail body as Tubbo comes up from behind cautiously and hugs him. Technoblade wants someone to hug him like that.

Tommy was right, it hurts Technoblade to admit it but he was weak. By removing Phil from his life he tried to remove his father’s existence from his brothers- in order to make it bearable. In order to stop the guilt from drowning him. He wasn’t considering his younger brother's feelings when he told him to pretend like nothing happened. 

He wants to stop everything, he wants to end the pain, and the frustration and the misery and the guilt and- And in that moment, Technoblade turns around and sprints off, as fast as his legs can take him. 

Time becomes indescribable, he can’t tell how long he was running for until he doubles over panting. The forest leans in around him, tall and swaying, whispering to him. Technoblade collapses onto the ground and starts to let the tears consume him alive. His body violently shakes as hiccups and sobs wrap around his throat and choke him. The tears feel like fire on his skin, only to get chilled by the increasingly cold wind. 

“I-I’m sorry- I’m sorry father, I’m sorry-” His hands claw into his hair, teeth grinding against each other as his quiet sobs get louder and louder. His body felt like it was getting shoved around by thousands of hands, crawling all over his body-

“Pinkie?”

Time stops, his body continues to shake but the sobs become more silent as he tries to hold them back. Dream’s voice was oddly calming, the name was relieving to hear. 

“D-Dream?” His voice cracks, hoarse and dry from the meltdown he had just experienced. He wanted to yell at the masked man, scream at him about how he wasn’t there to protect him, how he never showed when he was needed the most.

But his emotions had drained his body, Technoblade was exhausted and all he wanted to do was continue crying.

He hears footsteps and a light hand on his shoulder, he flinches from the touch and a stray whimper escapes his throat. He hates feeling this vulnerable, especially in front of anyone except Wilbur.

The hand doesn’t return on his shoulder, luckily Dream respects his boundaries and just sits down on the grass across from him, watching. Waiting for him to calm down, or say something perhaps.

“W-where were you, Dream...? I-I needed you there and you never showed… I thought you got hurt.” 

Dream is silent for a moment, then he lays on his back and watches the sky as it fades into a canvas of vivid oranges and pinks.

“I saw Tubbo outside and chased after him, I was sure you’d be fine but now I’m not so sure. I didn’t mean to leave you alone like that, nor leave you when whatever happened to you happened, I just got caught up in the moment.”

It’s not a complete apology, it’s an explanation. Somehow that’s more comforting, any sort of apology would be difficult to accept. Plus another part of Technoblade knew he didn’t deserve an apology, it happened because he was stupid, because he trusted someone else he shouldn’t have. In some ways Wilbur was right about that.

Technoblade couldn’t bring himself to snap back or yell, a scarily dull apathy had settled in over all the previous anger in his blood. He just looks at the sky with Dream, breathing starting to steady itself. He shouldn’t have expected Dream to care- did he? Maybe Technoblade could pretend he did, so he didn’t feel so alone.

“I see.” Why did he even care so much if he did anyway? Maybe it was the calmness Dream gave him everytime he joked, or laughed, or asked him about his day. He never had to second guess himself like he had to do with Wilbur, he could take everything Dream did at face value, not worry if he messed something up yet again.

“What did happen after I left?”

Technoblade can’t bring himself to talk anymore, his eyes weigh with drowsiness and his focus diminishes. With every breath they flicker shut for longer and longer until eventually they close. He should be on his guard right now, especially around Dream, but he can’t physically force himself to wake up as he drifts to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

|||Tommy POV|||

The cold night air around Tommy suffocates him. He feels like he’s being strangled by the pressure, chin trembling as the tears threaten to fall down his numb cheeks.

Tommy can feel Tubbo’s hands on his shoulder and side, holding him in a still hug. He knew Tubbo wasn’t the best at comforting, but in this moment silence was probably for the best.

Beneath the darkness above a faint glimmer of purple shimmers from the grass, reflecting off the shrubs like waves as the wind rocks them back and forth.

Technoblade’s axe.

The netherite pulses with light, a strange glow that was unique to the ore. He knew that Technoblade had put so much effort into crafting it- and seeing it be so carelessly discarded as his brother runs off with panicked tears was overwhelming for Tommy.

He wanted to chase after his older brother, to pull him into a hug and apologise for his harsh words- no matter how truthful they felt to him. He knew his brother was acting differently. The way he stutters his words, the silent talks to himself late at night, or even those ruby eyes that had dulled with stress. 

It confused him more that Wilbur acted like nothing was wrong, so at first he thought that he was overthinking it. But after that encounter he knew something else was up, something else was happening behind the scenes. Tommy didn’t know who the fuck was in on it but he hated seeing his brother so distraught.

So he places a hand on Tubbo’s, turning around to stare at him dead in the eyes. He needed answers. 

“Tubbo, what happened? How did Technoblade know who you are?” Tommy was scared, the last time his brother was this unhinged he crippled Philza. Even now, the stench of blood- his father screaming, it was too much to think about.

Tubbo’s eyes flash with hesitance, but Tommy was determined to get this information. The thought of Tubbo being hurt the same way would be too much for him.

“I-I… I saw something I shouldn’t have- it was so awful!” Tubbo shudders and withdraws his hand, eyes glistening as his brows curl into terror, “I- I saw him-”

Tommy pulls him into a hug to try and sooth Tubbo, feeling his body wrack as he hugs back. Tommy ignores the nails digging into his back, or the dampening spot on his shoulder, he would be Tubbo’s shoulder to cry on if needed.

“Take your time…” Tommy murmurs into his friend's hair, who had shrunk into his embrace like a damaged animal.

“I saw him get raped… I-I should’ve helped! I should’ve done something but I was scared! Tommy I was so terrified I didn’t know what to do-” His wails reach Tommy’s ears, and the moment he manages to process them his heartbeat starts picking up. He feels blood pump in his head, loud and painful.

Raped? There’s no way that could’ve happened. Technoblade was too careful with people to do that, he wouldn’t- 

Was that why he disappeared for three days? 

_Did Wilbur know what happened to him?_

“Tubbo…” Tommy stares down at his glum friend, his hair messily sticks out against his shirt, covering his head as he stares at the dirt. A part of him was guilt ridden for not realising sooner, he should’ve been there to help Technoblade, like Technoblade was to help him. He should’ve been there with Tubbo- to help everyone.

Tommy didn't feel like a good friend.

|||Dream POV|||

Dream didn't expect many things. He didn't expect for Technoblade to be acting so passive to him, or to accept his half assed apology -which he spent some time planning out- and he definitely didn't expect the pinkette to pass out next to him.

After a few moments of silence he wondered if Technoblade was ignoring the question, but when he glanced up at the pinkette he lay on the grass breathing softly. Dream pulls himself up and shuffles over to Technoblade, taking a few moments to watch him sleep.

His long hair spills down his shoulders and face, moonlight weaving into the soft pink as loose strands cover his eyes like a cloth. Dream reaches out a hand and uses a finger to gently brush away the strands, revealing closed eyes that were framed by long lashes and dark eyebags. It didn’t look like he had been able to sleep recently, which worried Dream. And it was solely for that reason that Dream picks him up and carefully walks him to his house.

Technoblade weighs down Dream as he slowly makes his way back home, he looks skinny but he holds a decent amount of muscle under that loose fabric. Technoblade’s hair tumbles down Dream’s neck and he rests his head on his shoulder, the movement causes him to flinch in surprise, before calming down and smiling. Unsurprisingly his hair is just as silky as it looked, it’s cold from the wind and brushes up against the side of his neck like water.

Dream had considered taking Technoblade back to his own house but there were several issues involving that- he wasn’t supposed to know where Technoblade lives, and he didn’t want to get on Wilbur’s bad side. 

No doubt he could easily kill Wilbur, but that would also cause a decent amount of problems. It would make his brothers vengeful, and having Technoblade become a wild card was not something he wants right now. 

“A weapon huh?” Dream murmurs Wilbur’s words to himself and glances back down at the pinkette in his arms, who had begun to shiver midway through the journey. He didn’t look like a weapon- he looked broken and sad. The moon had risen further in the sky, casting long shadows on his face, the eyebags looked bigger, the shadows almost appearing like black tears.

Eventually they do make it back to the base, the lamp being snuffed out long ago. 

He uses his foot to push the door open, slipping inside and sighing at the warmth. What he didn’t expect was to see Wilbur staring at the door with a dark look, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. He tilts back in his chair, a book in front of him.

“Hello, Dream. Care to explain what you are doing?”

Dream scoffs and places Technoblade down on the ground, leaning him up on the wall to prevent any unnecessary discomfort. “He was crying and passed out, no idea what happened.”

“He must've got into a fight with Tommy, I saw Tommy return crying.” Wilbur states with unsettling apathy and picks up the book to continue reading, leaving Dream confused about what to do. Should he leave? He didn’t want to, even though he brought back Technoblade like was supposed to.

“Are you going to take him to his room or should I?” Dream watches and Wilbur lets out an annoyed sigh, slamming the book shut.

“I don’t care, from what I overheard from Tommy he agreed to meet up with someone I have clearly stated I do not like.” Wilbur pushes the chair back and stands up, frowning at the sleeping pinkette “this is his punishment as far as I’m concerned, he should come to me for any sort of confirmation.”

The hatred in his voice makes a shiver roll up Dream’s spine, this Wilbur was completely different from the old Wilbur. He wants to argue back but he didn’t want to end up waking up the hybrid, as far as he’s concerned he didn’t need to get caught up in useless fights. 

“I’ll take him to his room then, where is it?”

“It's at the end of the hallway,” Wilbur shrugs nonchalantly, “don’t injure him, he's been invited to something in a couple of days.”

“Invited to what?”

“A festival, I'm a bit surprised this is your first time hearing about it,” Wilbur grins smugly and tilts his chair back while trying to get a better look at Dream, he was just happy that his face was hidden by his mask.

“What kind of festival, how come you’ve heard about this?” Dream straightens up and glares at Wilbur as he lets out a dark chuckle.

“And here I thought you were buddies with Schlatt, it’s his festival he set up.”

That _bastard_. Schlatt was planning something, and the fact that Dream was left out of the loop means it's something Schlatt knew he wouldn’t like. A shuffle from behind him catches his gaze, and suddenly he realises what the ram hybrid was trying to do. 

Obviously Dream wasn’t hidden enough about his emotions of the pinkette, and Schlatt had caught on.

Dream brushes off the smirk smug by Wilbur picks Technoblade back up, he didn't have time to deal with this. But he almost freezes after feeling the hybrid tense under his grip.

Oh shit.

He hastily leaves the room before Wilbur can figure out that Technoblade was awake, or at least semi conscious. The pinkette trembles under his hands, shoulders tense as if he was trying to stay still. The pinkette's face scrunches up, eyebrows furrowed and eyes squeezed tight enough to prick tears.

“Techno… it’s fine you’re safe now…” Dream whispers and carries him into his room, he doesn’t even realise he used Technoblade’s real name until he places the pinkette on his bed. A faint flush dusts his cheeks and he quickly yanks his hands back.

Maybe he would be able to pass all this off as a dream, he could pretend that he had called him Pinkie. Dream didn’t want to use his real name, he didn’t want to get anymore attached than he was already getting. 

“Wilbur…?” Technoblade whimpers out and holds a hand to his face, curling up into a ball and sinking into the blankets.

There was something poetically sad about that, calling out for the one person that was using him. It made Dream kind of sad in a way, a dull misery settles in his gut as a hand goes to stroke Technoblade’s hair. 

“It’s not Wilbur, It’s Dream.”

“D-don’t hurt me please- I don’t want thi-” His sobs become louder and Dream yanks his hand away, watching the pinkette unfurl while in his half asleep state.

“I won’t hurt you, I wasn’t there the first time but from now on I will be. I promise to put you first.” Dream stands up, walking out the room and closing the door, hearing something before the door closes.

“Please don't hate me... p-please”


	19. Chapter 19

|||Technoblade POV|||

Dim light hovers in the air like moisture, reflecting off the dull metal as it slices through the potatoes he had lined up on the counter. Technoblade hums a tune he doesn’t remember, focused on the knife as he chops up today’s meal.

It was a great way to organize his thoughts, take a step back and think about what happened yesterday. A way to prevent being overwhelmed, the last thing Technoblade needed was to be overwhelmed with emotions.

But everything that happened yesterday was swarming him with negativity, it was hard to keep his cool.

Technoblade had ended up disappointing his brothers once again, it was an endless cycle of fucking things over and hurting people. He almost hurt Tommy’s friend, he disregarded Tommy’s feelings for his own comfort. And from what he overheard with Wilbur and Dream- Wilbur was immensely disappointed in him for not asking him permission to go out first.

He only remembers little bits from the conversation, he had slipped in and out of his nightmare. He couldn’t even tell what his mind had made up or what was reality. Technoblade remembers waking up inside of the house, Dream and Wilbur arguing and Wilbur saying how he was disappointed in him, how these feelings were his punishment.

Maybe Wilbur was right. Maybe the reason his emotions were unbearable was because it was life’s way of punishing him for all the wrongs he’s done. For all the people he’s hurt, things he can never reverse.

His mental wellbeing had taken severe damage from reliving what happened with Phil, the phantom taste of blood still lingers in his mouth a day after the vivid memory, the tickle of feathers on his lips makes him want to itch and itch until pain replaces the sensation. 

But he didn’t want to worry his brothers anymore. The pace of his knife picks up as a sigh leaves his body.

The room grows dark and Technoblade whips his head around to see Tommy enter the room, briefly passing the lamp, which he had put there specifically so he would know if anyone walked in.

“Hey Techno… I- uh, I would like to talk to you…” Tommy shuffles into the room with great hesitance, leaning against the counter and eyeing his hands as they grip around the knife tighter.

“Sure Tommy, what about?” Technoblade forcefully stitches a smile onto his face, eyebrows and ear twitching.

“I just wanted to apologise, for saying those things about you yesterday… I shouldn’t have been so aggressive about it.”

Technoblade lets out a dry laugh, it was the only way to stop himself from snapping at Tommy again. The artificial glee bubbles in his throat as he places the knife down and raises a hand to his forehead. “Don’t apologise, you were right. I was a coward, a horrible brother, I shouldn’t have attacked your friend Tubbo for a mistake _I_ made.”

“It wasn’t your fault! You didn’t make the mistake, Technoblade! You shouldn’t blame yourself or him for what– uh-” The earnestness in his brother's voice causes Technoblade to freeze, a sudden chill rests in his bones as realization settles in the form of ice.

“Tommy… how much do you know?”

Tommy’s breath hitches for a moment, from the reflection of the knife Technoblade watches him as he shuffles on his feet and takes a deep breath.

“Tubbo- um- he kind of explained a few things.”

The realization swiftly turns into dread, “Tommy. I don’t want to talk about this.”

“This is important Techno! I know you probably don't need my help considering how strong you are and– b-but if you do then maybe I can-"

“Tommy you’re just a child! You shouldn’t need to listen to these types of things!” Technoblade spins around and holds back a scoff.

“And you know what?! I shouldn’t be exiled either, I shouldn’t be fighting against a nation but here I am! I don’t care if I shouldn’t have to listen to you- _I want to_!”

He can’t respond, the intensity of Tommy’s emotions drowns him further, it sinks into his body and pulls out a stray and desperate sob.

“Techno-?”

“What’s going on here?”

Technoblade stills, his breath gets caught in his throat as Wilbur walks into the room, despite the question's implications, Wilbur’s eyes shine with a keen knowing.

“Hey Wilbur- I was just trying to make Technoblade feel better.” Tommy stutters out as Wilbur makes his way over to him to pat him on the head.

“That’s good of you Tommy, but Technoblade’s fine, he doesn’t need any of your assistance.” Wilbur glances over with a warm smile, one that burns his thoughts, “right Techno?”

“I- uh... you’re right.” Technoblade looks at the ground to escape the heat of his gaze. Wilbur was right, he didn't need any help, especially from Tommy.

Wilbur moves his hand to Tommy’s shoulder and gives it a quick squeeze, “can you leave please? I need to talk to Technoblade alone, go and let the adults talk.”

Tommy mumbles in frustration. “But I was–"

“No but’s Tommy this is extremely important.” Tommy opens his mouth to protest, but falters as Wilbur looks down to stare at him directly. Technoblade can’t quite make out his expression but it makes Tommy lightly tremble.

“O-okay… I’ll go check our weapon supply or… something.” Technoblade watches with regret as Tommy casts him one last suspicious glance before scampering off, leaving him alone with Wilbur.

“What did you want to talk about?” Technoblade shivers as Wilbur walks over to him, grabbing him gently by the chin and tilting his head up. His skin crawls at the touch.

“Technoblade, I want you to apologise for yesterday. You need to ask me before you do _anything_.” His voice is low but sharp, causing him to flinch as the grip on his chin tightens. Technoblade can only force himself to slowly nod. The sudden hostility radiating off his brother scares him, he didn’t want Wilbur to be upset or angry with him.

In the next few seconds, Technoblade feels something push him against the wall and pressure against the back of his neck. He yelps as his cheek grinds against the rough stone surface, feeling a hot breath on his ear.

“I want you to say it. Tell me you will _always_ come to me for permission.”

HIs mind fills with panic at the familiar feeling of powerlessness, Technoblade tries his best to stay quiet but his breathing heavies and his eyes begin to gloss over.

“I-I promise! Please let me go- it hurts!”

‘ ** _Begging didn’t work last time.’_**

“This isn’t like last time! Stop please!”

**_‘It will happen again unless you get stronger.’_ **

“Let me go! Please stop please please don’t do it.” Unintelligible pleas and cries slip from his mouth as the panic grows stronger. His surroundings begin to pepper with spots of black as the oxygen escapes his lungs with painful wheezes.

Wilbur pulls back and Technoblade slumps onto the ground, his knees grazing against the cold rock as his hands go to cover his face. He can’t move, still paralyzed from the feeling as a hand goes to softly pat his hair. He leans into the touch, it’s warm, comforting. A stark contrast to the fear he was feeling earlier. This was the Wilbur he wanted- _needed_ , he just wanted to feel loved.

“Thank you Techie, I’m sorry I did that but I had to make sure you understood.” Wilbur’s voice is now a soothing honey, it calms the flood of fear in his stomach as the trembling in his shoulders halt.

“Now you should resume cooking, tomorrow's the festival remember? You’ll need the strength for it.”

Technoblade meekly nods, not wanting to upset his brother again and lose the comfort he had just gained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this burst a few blood vessels c:


	20. Chapter 20

|||Technoblade POV|||

As much as Technoblade prayed for time to stop, the day of the festival arrived with a relentless force. The nerves in his body tingle with anxiety as thoughts of what could go wrong flash in his mind like lightning.

The coldness had been increasing during the past few days, eventually turning into dark gray clouds that now drape over the forest like a heavy blanket. Animals hide underneath shrubs and trees as Technoblade gives his sword a test swing, watching it cleanly slice the bark. The thought of flesh replacing the tree gives him a sickly thrill.

Technoblade shivers while he sheaths his blade, going to cross his arms while looking back at his brothers, who were getting ready to set off to their meetup location. His eyes landed on Wilbur, whose eyebags had grown under his eyes like a poisonous ivy. He watches as his brother fidgets and shuffles through his pockets as if looking for something, Technoblade considers asking what but decides against it.

“Can you walk me through the plan again, Wilbur?” Tommy frowns as he looks down at the bow in front of him, mind still shaken from the previous day. Though if one were to ask he would probably brush it off as the cold. Technoblade hadn’t had much of a chance to talk to him after Wilbur, not that he himself was in a good mood after.

Of all the times Wilbur had hurt him that one really stuck, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel after that. It wasn't like he deliberately triggered some memories from Technoblade but he could no longer look at his brother without shuddering. He felt more fear than love, but that might just be a fault of his. Wilbur was probably just trying to help him.

“Technoblade goes undercover at the festival to get information, you and I will watch from the tallest building near the podium in case he needs any help. After that we regroup and go home with whatever information Technoblade was able to get.” Wilbur rummages throughout the room grabbing every last bit of items he needed, including a sword and potion. “Of course I will need to branch off at some point to… check something briefly.”

The last sentence hangs in the air ominously, leaving both Tommy and him to share a worried glance. The grin that crept onto Wilbur’s face while saying that was one to be feared. He doesn’t want to believe that Wilbur would do anything drastic without telling him, but after yesterday, Wilbur’s trust in him was probably still quite low. 

“You’ll be alright, right Techie?”

Wilbur’s voice snaps him from his thoughts and he manages to gingerly shrug, “yeah, all I have to do is try to learn their weaknesses right?”

His brother nods and pats him on the back, “good luck, don’t listen to anything those bastards have to say.” 

It felt more like an order than a warning, but Technoblade forces a smile and nods, trying his best not to pull away from the touch. His hand brushes against the crossbow attached to his belt, weighing him down.

He would do this- he could do this. For his family.

Technoblade then waves them goodbye and separates, following the gravel road that would eventually lead him to Manberg. Despite his cloak the cold creeps through the thick fabric and into his skin, causing another shiver to ripple throughout his body.

The walk wasn’t going to take long, but the cold definitely slows him down. It takes a while before Technoblade can begin to hear the faint chatter of people, the laughter and movement. Taking in one last deep breath he walks past the wall remains and enters Manberg territory.

It only takes a few more moments before people pop into view and a shiver rolls down his spine again.

_**‘Don’t freak out, you need to appear strong, resilient.’** _

Technoblade sighs, the voice was right for once. A few faces turn in his direction but he walks past with a straight posture and blank face. He only recognises a few people, Quackity- the man with the beanie, the fox hybrid which he decides to avoid, and eventually Tubbo, who Technoblade can’t bring himself to make eye contact with.

This was going to be a long painful time, he can’t even talk to the people around him. He glances at the tallest building but he can’t see his brothers yet. They must still be on their way, considering their route was much longer.

“Alright, everyone please gather for the opening ceremony! It seems like everyone is here!” Quackity smirks and trots away towards the podium, quickly pursued by the small group of anticipating people. Technoblade takes a seat in the front corner, trying to avoid all the people around him, he can feel a few gazes on him but luckily none linger. It might be because hybrids seemed more common in Manberg, which he could take some slight comfort in.

Technoblade’s gaze freezes when he sees a familiar ram hybrid waltz onto the podium, a thick black suit neatly wrapped around a white shirt and red tie. It wasn’t an original choice of clothing, but it effectively popped amongst the crowd below, radiating an aura of confidence and power.

“Welcome my lovely citizens of Manberg, and those invited from the outside!” Schlatt begins his speech and smirks in Technoblade’s direction, who seemingly shrinks into his seat.

“Today we celebrate a mark of a new era! An era of peace and rest among you all, enjoy today’s festival and remember who provides for you all.” Schlatt finishes with a grin and steps back, head snapping in Tubbo’s direction, who fumbles in his seat anxiously.

“Tubbo, you may stand and speak.” There was a hidden emotion in those words, the grin on Schlatt’s face more artificial than before. But he resumes his positive attitude as Tubbo shuffles to the mic and taps on it a couple of times.

“U-uh… Hello! Today I just wanted to say that whatever happens in the future, today will be a reminder to us and there is always happiness after the sadness, like the rainbow after a storm. Treat today as a celebration of the past choices we’ve made and what's to come in the future, uh- t-thank you.” A smile coats his lips as he gets more confident in his speech, at the end there is a wave of applause from the crowd which Technoblade hesitantly joins in on.

“Ya know Tubbo… why don’t you come over here for a moment?” Schlatt stands up from his seat in the middle and ushers the boy over, who looks confused as he slowly makes his way over to the ram hybrid.

“W-what do you want?”

"You probably think I'm stupid, don't you? Think I'm blind to what you've done."

Before anyone in the crowd realises what’s going on Tubbo is pulled into the chair with a yelp and held down by Schlatt, who had immediately started to yell something at Quackity.

Anxious whispers among the crowd quickly descend into panic as the representatives tug rope around Tubbo, whose eyes are wide with panic.

“Listen up, people of Manberg! I have found the traitor among us, the one who threatens the safety and peace of our great and powerful nation!” Schlatt steps to the side and raises a hand to point at Tubbo, “this boy here has been conversing with our enemies!”

Technoblade’s head begins to race with ideas, should he help Tubbo? He glances at the roof of the building and sees one head peeking over, which he assumes was one of his brothers. Judging by the faint blonde tuff of hair he guesses it was Tommy- where was Wilbur?

He didn’t want Tommy to have to witness this- what if he created a scene and distracted them? What if he went in to attack Schlatt and let Tubbo escape- what if-

“Hey Technoblade, why don’t you come up here for a moment?” That same sharp tone is now directed at him, it takes a few moments before everyone's heads drift in his direction. He feels frozen, panic pulling him under and drowning him.

He stumbles to his feet and feels gravity push him towards the podium, each step summoning more fear and hesitance as he throws another glance at his brother, who had ducked behind the roof edge for cover.

“Hello again, my dear friend.” Schlatt waves him on and smiles, though Technoblade can feel the malice behind it.

“What do you want?” He tries to keep his composure, face neutral and voice level.

“Well, Techno," Schlatt smirks and raises a hand to point towards the restrained boy, eyes gleaming with amusement. "Technoblade I want you to kill him. Shoot him right here right now.”

“W-what?” He stammers out anxiously and glances towards the trembling boy tied to the chair, Tubbo's brown hair is disheveled and covering his eyes, which stream with small trails of tears. He was just a kid, it didn’t matter what the voice said, or anyone, he shouldn’t be hurting a kid.

“We both know...” Schlatt’s voice darkens, low enough to cause a shiver to course throughout Technoblade’s body, it was as chilling as the darkening clouds above them. “–we both know what he would do in this situation, after all he left you all alone. Think of this as revenge.”

 _Did he know?_ Did Schlatt know what happened-? How- his words are laced with meaning that Technoblade can understand, but… He desperately tries to find Wilbur on the roof for confirmation, only to see no one. Panic fills his blood like ice, freezing him in place as he feels a hand on his shoulder gently pulling him away to face Tubbo again. 

“Are you looking for your buddy? Hm? You really think Wilbur cares about you enough to stop this?” Schlatt’s grip tightens, nails sinking into the fur of his cloak, he feels vulnerable. “Well he doesn’t, and I think deep down you’ve already figured that out. You’re just scared about losing the one person who pretends to care about you.”

Technoblade tries to stop himself from sobbing, his body trembles almost as much as Tubbo’s, who stares at him with wide, pleading eyes. He can almost feel Schlatt breathing down his neck, lips curled back into a grin at his confusion.

He doesn’t want to think about those words- but he does. Did he already know how Wilbur felt about him? He thinks back to all the times Wilbur has told him he loves him, and they _felt_ genuine. Sure he was mean at times but- but-

“No Wilbur loves me- he’s my brother.” Technoblade whispers in a hoarse voice as the grip on his shoulder loosens.

“Don’t lie to yourself, Technoblade. I know you’re smart enough to figure it out, but you refuse to. It’s quite sad in a way considering I-”

“I’m not lying to myself!” Technoblade manages to shout out in anger but the tremble of his chin speaks other emotions.

“Prove it, point and shoot right now and see if your dear older brother comes to help you.” Schlatt’s hand trails down his side to the crossbow mounted on his waist, hand brushing against the wood, “shoot.”

Technoblade doesn’t understand what was happening, he pulls out the crossbow and watches as Tubbo’s face morphs into one of fear, an expression he had seen too many times before.

“Good.” Schlatt’s praise is drowned out by the cries below the podium, the people restless in their begging to stop this.

 _Where was Wilbur_? Why isn’t Wilbur helping him? His breathing speeds up, erratic and heavy. He wants Wilbur to come and help him, he said that’s what they were up there for, to _help him._

“Techno… p-please don’t shoot me…” Tubbo weeps openly now, streams of tears turning into rivers as he pulls against the ropes sealing his hands to the arms of the chair, “please!”

“I… I can’t” Technoblade lets the crossbow fall down to his side, “I can’t do it.” 

There was no way he could decide this, he just wanted to leave. To be at home with his family- _safe_. But the grinning coldness that digs into his skin brings him back to reality.

Schlatt goes silent beside him, for a second Technoblade expects to get hit or shoved off the podium edge, but Schlatt just casually walks up to Tubbo with that same neverending smirk, “you will.”

Before he even realises what happens, or look away in time, Schlatt pulls out a knife and stabs Tubbo in the arm, who lets out a shriek and thrashes against the restraints. His screams echo in Technoblade’s mind, most likely to join the mountain of others in his nightmares.

But then he sees the blood pulsing out between the metal and skin, he watches as the red liquid bubbles and trickles down Tubbo’s arm like tears. The scent of copper fills the air around him, in his mind, stomach, seeping into his thoughts like a toxin.

_**'Let me fix this, that's what I'm here for, to help you take care of this.'** _

"Nono this isn't what I want-" Technoblade begins to panic but it’s too late.

_**'It's what I want.'** _

The crossbow is raised again, his vision is hazy, filled with a dark desire to create more blood.

_**'Pull the trigger.'** _

His finger reaches for the trigger.

“Don't do it!”

Out of the corner of his eye he sees a flash of purple light and a green figure, a crackle of pure energy before being tackled. He feels arms wrap around him and knock him back, dragging the both of them off the podium and into the dark water below.

The crossbow falls to the ground and fires, releasing a spray of colour exploding in the air above them, before he is submerged into the water he hears screams as the crowd flees. Then the cold consumes his body and the arms go slack around his waist.


	21. Chapter 21

|||Dream POV|||

Dream shouldn’t be here, he wasn’t invited to the festival. But he was never one for following other's orders, so he finds himself stalking the treeline outside of Manberg, eyes gazing over the crowd of people chatting within the borders. He shouldn’t be stalking the festival, but alas he still ducks behind bushes and climbs up trees, watching out for a splash of pink amongst the gathering people.

Multiple banners and lanterns were hung up in the air, either blue red or white, and ribbons wrap around every conceivable pole. Despite that, the gloom of the wall's remains remain scattered beyond his sight. Tainting the happiness with a foul reminder of the past.

His brow scrunches up in distaste as he watches them all laugh and smile so carelessly happily, without a worry in their lives. Despite the feelings of irritation he also feels a pit of jealousy in his gut. He briefly wonders what it would be like to live that way, carefree, happy. To not have to awake afraid of being hunted, antsy of the shadows that lurk in the corners of his sight.

Dream always feared becoming just another name crossed out on his family’s list, but if he could build up a proper _reputation_ , become _feared_. Maybe he wouldn’t have to worry about that anymore.

Dream shakes his head and scowls, palms grinding against the bark to keep him stable- now wasn’t the time to think about that. He gazes back to the crowd and notices the people begin to move towards the podium. It’s at that moment he notices the pinkette amongst the crowd, pink hair a stark contrast to the sea of browns and blacks around him.

He sighs in relief after learning that his main focus was in his sight and safe, scaling up a closeby tree to get a better look at the speeches. Dream was going to stick around until he knew it was going to go smoothly, then he would leave.

Just to make sure Technoblade was safe, Dream didn't want anything bad to happen to him.

At least that’s what he thought.

But then Tubbo stood up to do a speech and he could immediately sense something was amidst. Dream watches with a growing anxiety as Schlatt starts acting differently, even from the tree he can see the fake smile and glare in the ram's eyes. But Dream couldn’t get involved, even if he wanted too. 

So he merely continues to observe, eyes glued to the nearing catastrophe as Tubbo finishes his speech, as Schlatt calls him over and ties him down with Quackity’s help, and even when Schlatt begins to shout. It looks like Tubbo was caught doing something, probably involving the incident with Technoblade and himself. But as far as Dream knew Tubbo hadn’t actually properly met Technoblade yet.

He felt pity for Tubbo, but not enough to bother helping. If he jumped in he could potentially get jumped on himself. He would stay out of it.

But then he sees Schlatt wave his hand among the crowd, heart stopping as it points to Technoblade and seemingly drags him onto the podium. Dream’s irritation evolves into a sharp fear and wariness as he watches closely for any sort of danger.

Schlatt was getting close to Technoblade, _too close_. His hand rests around his shoulder, the ram hybrid leans in to whisper words into the pinkette’s ear. It fills Dream with rage, but he manages to keep himself from going over there now. He had an inkling that president was planning to advance towards Technoblade one way or another.

He just had to wait, be patient.

That's what he would've done. But then Technoblade pulls out the crossbow, obviously being coerced by Schlatt. Dream hears a shrill scream and his vision blurs as he throws himself down the tree in a rapid haze. Bounding towards them and scrambling to aim his enderpearl. Luckily this wasn’t the first time he had to aim and throw one while running, so the pearl soars through the air and cracks almost exactly where he aimed it on the podium.

He prays that he makes it in time and tackles Technoblade, causing them both to topple over the edge and fall over. Dream can hear the crossbow fire behind him, explosions of colour reflecting on the dark water below like the lights in a night sky.

Wind slaps Dream in the face as they fall down, only to have the fall broken by a dark coldness. Their bodies plunge into the water and he feels the icy liquid crush against him with tremendous force. He can feel Technoblade squirm between his arms so he pushes himself back, a sharp pain flashing up his body in bolts as he clutches his side. Dream can feel blood seep out of his wound as he kicks his legs to breach the surface.

Pulling himself onto the ground he coughs and doubles over, hands clamped over his side to try and stop the bleeding, only to have the blood seep out between his numb fingers. Dream rips his grip away with a grunt to inspect the damage: a puncture wound that tears right through his hoodie and into his side. Nausea and confusion sweeps through him like a wave, for a moment he doesn’t properly understand how it happened until he remembers Technoblade.

A swift fear washes over him, just as cold as the water clinging to his clothes and skin, as he scrambles over to the water to look for Technoblade.

“T–Pinkie?” He sees an increasing shadow and backs away just as the hybrid bursts from underneath the water, gasping for air and spluttering. Pink hair clings to him in wet clumps, sticking to his forehead and neck.

Dream immediately can tell something's off, the way Technoblade’s eyes are glazed over with a dark expression, which points in his direction and glides down to fixate on his side, _his wound_. The pinkette's fingers drip with blood and Dream notices specks of green fabric under his nails.

Technoblade had attacked him while they were falling.

He hears a very faint chuckle from above and looks up to see Schlatt peering down, despite the laughter his face is carved with a deep scowl, eyes narrowed and glinting with a dangerous anger. That _bastard_ \- that absolute bastard.

Dream is about to yell at him when he gets tackled, he yelps and tries to kick the pinkette off him, only to see as Technoblade leans in to try and bite at his throat.

Knowing that Technoblade was in some sort of state he kicks him in the knee and scrambles back, wincing as his side grinds against the ground. Fear and adrenaline pumps through his blood, he was injured but he couldn't afford to lose this fight- not this time. Technoblade snarls and wipes his mouth, tongue rolling out to lick at the stray blood on his fingertips, _Dream’s blood_.

Dream tries to reach for his sword only to realise it was gone, probably in the water with Technoade’s, which had sunk far below the dark surface.

“Pinkie– stop this right now!” Dream tries to get up but Technoblade throws himself towards Dream again, hand digging into his wound and drawing a scream from his mouth. 

Think think think _think_! Dream struggles to form a coherent plan as he goes to kick Technoblade off him again. He hears the hybrid whimper and grab it's stomach before growling. Maybe he could take off his hoodie and use it as a blindfold to throw it over his face, as long as he took the important stuff out first– _the vial!_

The hand sinks deeper into his side and Dream almost lets out another scream that he barely manages to conceal into a pained groan, Dream’s hand flies into his pocket and desperately pulls out the vial.

Technoblade goes for his throat again but he manages to raise his arm to block it, feeling the tusks drag against his skin. 

After a second of fumbling the cap comes off and a minimal amount of blood leaks out, the strange scent grabbing Technoblade’s attention. Dream prays that it works and shoves the glass against the pinkette’s lips, watching as his eyes slowly start to narrow and his eyebrows furrow in confusion.

Dream lays on the ground panting and groaning from the pain, feeling blood continue to leak out. He watches as Technoblade stares down at him, hands on either side of his head and hair dangling just low enough to brush against Dream's cheek. His heart that had stilled long ago from the fear was beginning to pick up speed, pounding against his chest from a mix of feelings he didn't want to address. He was anticipating the bite at his neck, the claws in his stomach. But instead he watches as all the colour drains from Technoblade's face and a painful sob escapes his lips.

|||Schlatt POV|||

Schlatt was immensely disappointed in this outcome, Tubbo the _traitor_ was still alive, writhing in his chair and sobbing so loudly he wanted to stab him in the throat. His ear twitches in annoyance, hopefully he would shut up soon enough.

The fact that Technoblade hadn’t killed him didn’t help his mood either, but at least he could affect the hybrid. Schlatt had momentarily been worried that Wilbur had influenced the pinkette too much to be controlled, but today proved the opposite. Schlatt was still able to manipulate Technoblade effectively, in fact, maybe Wilbur’s schemes were helping him. 

After all Technoblade was definitely in a worser state then their meeting at the wall. He was openly talking to himself -although Schlatt had a hunch it wasn’t himself he was talking too- and the pinkette seemed to be second guessing himself quite a lot.

Too bad Dream had to ruin it, it was running perfectly, his hypnosis about blood was correct. Schlatt peers over the edge to get a better look at the two, only to realise they were fighting. 

As he observes the fight multiple things catch his attention. Technoblade acts like a rapid animal, trying to rip out Dream’s throat and consuming whatever blood got on his hands. It was a bit disturbing but it was exactly what Schlatt had assumed, blood appears to cause him to go wild.

But the next thing that happens causes his heart to stop, in excitement or fear he didn’t know. Dream pulls out a vial of blood and proceeds to force feed it to Technoblade, Schlatt watches with keen interest as the pinkette falters in his assault and freezes.

That was definitely abnormal. He tunes out the weeping boy in the background and focuses on the encounter. Technoblade seems to pull back and start pulling at his hair in panic. Dream was saying something but he can’t hear it, his ears twitch with irritation.

What was that blood anyway? Why did it stop Technoblade, who seemed to now be in a dazed and panicked state. It had to be _special_ blood somehow, but there weren’t many different types of blood. It couldn’t have been a specific human blood type because all human blood is the same to piglin hybrids, Schlatt huffs in annoyance and tilts back, raising a hand to massage his now pounding head. 

What type of blood was in that vial?

He was attracted to Tubbo’s blood just like he thought, Tubbo was a human– what if… what if that was hybrid blood?

Schlatt almost begins to roar with laughter, grin wild as he turns to face Tubbo, who stares back in still fright. High on pride he walks over to pick up the knife and raise it to his cheek, watching him flinch away. 

“Stay away from him.”

The bubbly feeling returns, almost the same he gets when he’s drunk. He clings onto it with a giddy desperation “Oh hello Tommy, good to see you’re doing well.”

“Stay away from Tubbo.”

Should he? He considers killing Tubbo now and traumatizing Tommy. But if he did that he would lose all of the progress he had been making with Technoblade. Right now was the period that Technoblade would start questioning Wilbur and himself, then Schlatt can swoop in with his proposal. 

His entire plan had revolved around a slow and steady pace. Schlatt knew that with Wilbur's manipulation it would take some time to replace it. _Reform_ it.

But with this newfound knowledge involving hybrid blood and its effects on Technoblade. Schlatt now had something of his own to offer him, something of great value.

He just needed to know how desperate the pinkette was to get hybrid blood.

So he pulls back and merely opts to stab Tubbo in the hand, watching as Tommy shouts and runs towards them. Tubbo lets out another scream and starts begging for help, throat cracking.

Schlatt then smirks and takes that opportunity to turn and stroll away, knowing that Tommy would pick saving Tubbo over chasing him.


	22. Chapter 22

|||Technoblade POV|||

Technoblade feels as though he is in heaven and hell. On one hand he hesitantly hovers around Dream as he banadages his wound -the wound _he_ gave him-, and on the other hand the hybrid blood had worked. The voice is gone- _silent_. His head feels empty, as if a wave of fresh water had come and washed away all the muck stuck in his mind. It was blissful to feel like himself, but he knew the feeling wouldn’t last forever. He hangs onto the feeling as his foot erratically taps against the ground. 

Dream groans and slouches back, earning a cautious glance from Technoblade.

“I didn't mean to hurt you, I saw the blood and- it feels hazy after that–”

“It’s fine, you’ve explained that to me before.” Dream sighs and rips off the last bit of fabric, tying it around his waist and leaning back to peer around his room. “I knew the risks getting involved.”

Technoblade mutters something under his breath, though he doesn’t understand it. He regrets bringing Dream to house, especially considering some things needed to be cleared up. Technoblade peers down and opens his palm, fingers unsticking from the vial from squeezing too tightly. A few cracks in the glass bring a sigh from him, a gift wasted- was it really wasted? It saved Dream’s and maybe even Tubbo’s life.

He looked up, the dark clouds outside had opened up and begun to pour down, slamming against the roof with tremendous force. Technoblade felt lucky he made it back with Dream before the rain had started, he didn’t want to have to carry someone in the cold.

Speaking of, he turns around to see Dream standing up from his bed, going to the window to look outside. Technoblade huffs in irritation and stands up, grabbing him by the shoulder.

“Dream. We need to talk.”

Dream turns around with a slightly confused expression, before realisation settles in, Technoblade continues before he can blurt something out.

“How did you get that vial?” His hand glides down to Dream’s wrist, latching on and pressing down to feel his heartbeat, he needs the truth. The masked man hesitates slightly, they both know the answer but the tense silence keeps his lips sealed.

“I’ve been here before-”

“ _How_ did you know where I lived?” Technoblade skips right to the important information.

“I uh, I kind of interrogated someone to find that out…” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, as if he was just admitting to a minor prank.

Technoblade can barely believe his ears, why the hell would Dream do that in the first place? Was he looking for weaknesses? Surely he would’ve hurt him by now if he was after that, he can’t tell if he should trust the masked man.

For a moment, Technoblade almost waits for a response from the Blood God, but there is only silence in his mind. A giddy feeling creeps into his face in the form of a smile, which causes Dream to shuffle uncomfortably, Technoblade can feel his pulse pick up.

“You’ve been stalking me all this time- but why?” Technoblade leans in with a voice laced with confusion, he’s torn between being angry and happy. His mind was in two different states. His entire being had been cut in half, experiencing two parts of his memories.

“You interest me, that's all there is to it, I’ve said that before.” Technoblade's breath faulters, he didn’t know why, he should’ve expected Dream to be only interested _about_ him. Because he was abnormal, a disturbed freak who couldn't even stop himself from hurting the people close to him. The only person who cared about him was Wilbur.

_‘Are you looking for your buddy? Hm? You really think Wilbur cares about you enough to stop this?’_ Schlatt’s words scorch his mind like acid, burning all the unstable walls he had kept building up, of course Wilbur cared about him. That bastard hybrid was wrong, they were all wrong!

_‘You’re just scared about losing the one person who pretends to care about you.’_

Why was he letting this get between him and his brother? He couldn’t let this relationship crumble- or else he would be alone, again.

“Pinkie? You’re kind of out of it right now-” Technoblade tightens his grip, letting out a growl and flinging Dream onto the bed, breath heavy as he glares down.

“Shut up I’m thinking-” He inhales deeply, unaware of the way Dream stares back at him completely stunned, he couldn't tell if he was just confused or slightly frightened. If only he could see the hurricane inside Technoblade's head, the way to deafens him with loud roaring.

“Dream, do you also think Wilbur is using me?” He hates the way Dream pauses, breath halting as he looks to the side. The hesitance speaks louder than any words could, Technoblade growls and pins him down harder, trying to find a way to vent his frustration from being useless.

“You’re wrong. You all are! He cares about me- he said so, he wouldn’t lie to me!” Who was he trying to convince? Technoblade didn’t know, he hated how Dream continued to remain silent.

Like a thread snapping, he suddenly realises what he was doing. Pinning an injured man onto his bed and yelling at him, his arms fall limply to his sides and he jerks back. Eyes wide and glimmering with distress.

“Oh god- I’m so sorry- I-” Technoblade growls in frustration at himself, he was losing his edge. He was getting unstable, the emptiness in head giving him too much self doubt. Normally he could just go against the voice and he would be in the right, but now he had nothing to compare himself to. Was this even wrong? It felt wrong–but Wilbur's love _felt_ wrong even though he _knew_ it was right. It was right. It had to be right. Of course it was right. “Dream, just get out please-”

A hand on his shoulder freezes his body, heavy breathing pausing as the weight in his lungs almost suffocates him.

“Dream?”

“ _Technoblade_ … Wilbur is just using you, I know that’s hard for you to understand, or maybe just accept, but it's the truth.” As Technoblade turns around his breath faulters and his eyes widen, a sob stuck in his throat as he stares into the eyes in front of him.

Green eyes stare back, a colour that gives him the safe feeling he felt at home. The lush verdant of crops scattering his fields, the pine trees swaying with a warm breeze he would be greeted with every morning. Technoblade can’t tear his gaze away from them, he doesn't want to lose the warm feeling rapidly forming in his chest.

“He… he isn’t... “ _...Wilbur isn't using him?_

**_‘Where was he then?’_ **

Technoblade jerks back with a cry, feeling a sharp pain snap his mind once again. Bolts of stinging pain dig into his skull like pins. filling his head with a poisonous infection. It pounds against his skull with a relentless force until he claws at his hair in an attempt to block it out.

“Why are you here again? Why why why?!” Technoblade shouts with clenched teeth as his eyes glue themselves to the ground, he can still see slight blood stains from when he slammed his hands against the wood.

He doesn’t notice the worried glance Dream gives him and continues to focus on the lingering presence in his mind.

**_‘You think you can make me disappear by getting rid of the bloodthirst? Sorry to burst your bubble but as long as your thirst returns so will I.’_ **

“Then I’ll just drink more blood- I don’t need to listen to your bullshit!”

_**'Go ahead, that would just be a treat for me. Though I doubt you'd even be able to get your hands on any.'** _

“Pinkie? Calm down, what are you talking too?” Dream walks closer to him but he doesn’t notice his presence, too far lost in the argument to pay attention, until something grabs his shoulder and he lurches into action.

He grabs Dream by the arm and shoves him backward, watching as his back collides with the wall, “stop acting like you care! You said so yourself, you're only interested in me as some _thing_ for you to learn about!"

Dream sucks air through his teeth, eyes narrowed with a radioactive glint. Technoblade sees the flecks of brown peppering his skin like dust, stretching from one cheek to another. Somehow seeing him like this gave Technoblade a new perspective of Dream, it made him appear more human.

“I… I do. I don't know why– but I do care _enough_ to want to help you." 

He doesn't expect that. Now that he can see the emotions in Dream's eyes it becomes more overwhelming. More hard to accept.

“...There’s a God in my head Dream… it _speaks_ to me, it tries to convince me to do terrible things, I– right now it wants me to tear your throat out. I want to _hurt_ you so bad but- no I don’t. No I don’t I wouldn’t-” He doesn’t know who he’s trying to convince anymore, he backs away and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Go away Dream- I need some time to myself, please… just go to Wilbur and tell him I’m fine, he might be worried.”

**_‘We both know he isn’t worried about you, Wilbur doesn’t care.’_ **

“Shut up!” Technoblade yells and slams a fist against the wall behind him, feeling it crack.

Dream hesitates for a moment, before turning to walk out of the room, but not before adding one last thing to the mountain of thoughts drowning him.

“I’m not using you though… I- I uh, I will be there when you need help.”

Technoblade wants to believe him, but if he accepts Dream’s help he is scared he will end up hurting him.


	23. Chapter 23

|||Tommy POV|||

Why?

He ponders that question a lot. Why did he get the short end of the stick in life? Why did his family have to suffer so much? Why couldn’t he just be happy with the people he loved? Why couldn’t he protect the people close to him? 

Now he sits on the cold stone floor of his room, bed occupied with his injured friend, Tubbo, who pants and whimpers under the sheets. Tommy can’t bring himself to look at his deathly pale friend, he just wants to imagine that this was some sort of sleepover maybe, some sort of fun game.

But the stench of blood in the air tells otherwise, the dried blood cracking on his hands every time he fidgets reminds him of the reality of the situation. He hears Tubbo shuffle under the sheets and let out another whimper, it hurts his heart to hear his best friend in so much pain. But once again he is unable to do anything.

“Tubbo… It’ll be fine, I’ll try to fix this- somehow.” He doesn’t expect a response, but he gets one.

“Techno… He was going to do it, he was going to shoot m-me- _kill me_.” Tubbo’s voice cracks from the fear evident.

Tubbo didn’t know about Technoblade’s past, some parts even Tommy didn’t know. He knew he couldn’t control his ‘bloodthirst’ or whatever Dad had called it, but he didn’t know what that even meant. Was it really that hard to control? Tommy shouldn’t be doubting his brother like that, especially considering all the shit he’s gone through. 

But sometimes Tommy wonders if the danger is worth it. Of course, he loves his brother, he would die for him. But he didn’t want Wilbur, or Tubbo or Philza to be killed by him because he loses control again. 

“I’m sure he wasn’t.” Tommy knew he was lying, he had seen it too. The same expression of lust in his eyes, the darkness that hovered around him like a heavy aura. Whatever Schlatt had said was got to him enough, including the _\- the wound_. Tommy hisses through gritted teeth, that ram horned bastard kept hurting everything in his life, taking everything from him.

First he took Lmanberg, then he took away his friends, and then he almost took away Tubbo. Tommy wouldn’t be able to bear losing him, the thought of it makes him break out in sobs. The screams- the blood. His head buries in his shoulders as the hot tears roll out, dampening his sleeves.

He wanted this to all be over.

Tommy’s head shoots up as he hears someone knock at the door, he gingerly stands up and shuffles over, creaking the door open to reveal a smiling Wilbur. The taller man raises his hands and passes bandages with a bucket of warm soapy water to Tommy, giving him a small head pat.

“Don’t be scared Tommy, I’ll make sure you’re safe, you and Tubbo.”

|||Technoblade POV|||

He walked quite farther then he should have. Leaves crunch under his shoes, crumbling into brown dust that gets blown away by the wild wind. The stench of rain still hangs in the air, dripping off the trees above and moistening the soil underneath. 

Technoblade wanted to be able to properly breathe, the house no longer felt safe now that he knew how easily Dream had managed to find out about it. How anyone could with enough dedication, like that black haired town girl. He hugs himself and watches his breath drift into the air like fog.

The heavy air is better than that place, he takes a deep breath and holds it, feeling his throat close up and eyes squint. Even as his lungs tighten and tears prick his eyes, he doesn’t want to exhale. He just wants to let it all go, not just the air. Never take another breath here, maybe move back into the nether by himself and just throw himself off the side of a platform. He could almost imagine the heat of lava as he plunges underneath, contrast to the cold water he fell in with Dream.

Of course he would never do that, he didn’t even know how far he would be able to get before the Blood God tried to intervene. If the voice cared that much anyway, if anyone did. 

**_‘You don’t need anyone to care for you, you can do that yourself.’_ **

“There’s a difference between fending for yourself and having someone care about you.” Technoblade didn’t expect it to understand, he didn’t even know why he bothered explaining it.

His feet carry him further away, until he eventually finds himself in a small clearing. After seeing a rotting log discarded on the ground he realises it’s the first place he met Dream in. His hand brushes the moss growing on the side, fingers sinking into the damp vegetation like a sponge.

“But… I don’t even know anymore, you know? I want to trust Wilbur, but... “ Technoblade sits on the log and buries his head into his arms, “I don’t know, I just don’t know…” 

' ** _You are searching for uneeded answers. You seek someone to trust so you can feel some stability. That's something you have to find with me.'_**

He doesn't want to listen, he doesn't need to.

The wind dies down then picks up again, the leaves shudder then still. The log under him grows colder and colder until it bites at his skin, urging him to leave. But he can’t bring himself to, he wants to cry, but the tears dry on his cheeks too quickly. 

He just wanted the voice to go away, to stop its temptations and give him free will again. Technoblade just wanted to be free from the chains that burned into his mind a long time ago. But there was no way to remove it, he was doomed to live with the infection until death claimed his life.

His throat closes up as his shoulders wrack, the sobs escape but the tears won’t come. Technoblade shouts and starts to rip at his hair, he couldn’t deal with this. He was sick of dealing with this, he no longer cares how loud he is. Whether or not Dream or even _Wilbur_ was hovering around here to hear him. He wants to scream and let it all out, but it continuously fills his heart and throat, like an unquenchable sadness.

His throat burns, so eventually he stops, the hands go limp, still gripping at his hair, which sits in messy tangles down his shoulders. Technoblade was ready to give up and just leave, no one really cared. Wilbur didn’t. 

No Wilbur did, why was he listening to them, the words Wilbur spoke made him _feel_ loved, so that was love right?

Why is it so hard to understand love, why did he chase after something he didn’t know. Pity _pity_ _ **pity**_ _._ It was all just _pity_ , Philza took him in out of _**pity**_ , Wilbur pretended to love him out of _**pity**_ , and Dream- Dream was _curious_ , that was all. 

But he offered help, offered _him_ help. Something that the others didn’t, maybe a small part of him appreciated Dream, wanted to get to know him better and become friends. 

But he was a danger, as long as he couldn’t control his urges he can’t go back.

Technoblade hears shuffling to the right of him, his head jolts up and his hand immediately locks in on his axe. The darkness offers little help, but he can still see the emerging shadow.

“Oh hello, so you were the one yelling, huh?” 

Technoblade’s blood chills, freezing in his veins and effectively paralyzing him. That same tone dripping with a sweet poison causes the axe to fall to his side. 

Schlatt comes out into the field, a dim light casting down on his features. He wears a warm smile that tries to lure him into a false sense of security. But he won’t fall for it.

“What do you want?”

Schlatt chuckles, waving a hand around and grinning, “I want to offer you something of mine, a deal you could say.”


	24. Chapter 24

|||Wilbur POV|||

It wasn't going to plan but that was fine. Colour never fits between the lines perfectly, even if a bit leaks out and blends an art piece is still an art piece. Red and yellow still burn hot together, like a flickering flame, or an _explosion_.

The room is dark. Not the kind of dark he normally experiences, curtains closed and lights off as he mumbles and schemes. No, this dark is more sinister, it hangs heavy in the air and drains the atmosphere of any warmth, it leaves Wilbur cold and frustrated as he paces around the black.

His mind claws at his heart, his eyes sting from trying to squint and read what he wrote.

Dim red lights loosely hang on the walls, redstone torches hammered into the stone along with scribbles and signs. Things he doesn't remember putting there. He wants to read them and understand them, but if he does his head will start hurting again, he doesn't want to hurt his head again. He wants peace, silence. He wants to put an end to it.

His fingers twitch with an urge, but he resists. The button pokes out from the wall with an invitation- but it isn't time yet. He missed his chance earlier, he should've stayed on the roof with Tommy but this place lures him in like bait to a fish. Wilbur finds himself helpless to the promise of destruction, why he sought it was confusing to him.

Wilbur wanted to get this song over with, he didn't want to ponder about who to trust anymore. He didn't want to have to see the suffering of the world or feel the emptiness in his life. Wilbur didn't know when it started, the feeling of apathy, of a lack of care. He didn't remember when the world became duller and duller as if draining of all colour.

But that's why he _needed_ to bring back the colour! That's why he needed to sing his song and paint his red and yellows.

 _God_ help him, he wanted to press it. But his plans had slipped from the path and stalled time. Because Dream didn't end up handing him the TNT he bargained for he has resorted to other ways to gather the TNT.

He would get his hands on those explosives at the cost of almost anything. _Almost._ He still needed Technoblade alive and with him.

A part of him thinks about giving up on his brother, but he needed to finish the song of Lmanberg the _same way_ his mind told him. It's a song of pain and suffering but it's his song, it was what he deserved.

Wilbur could almost taste the ash on his tongue, the copper in the air as smoke and blood stain the oxygen with a foul tune. It was magnificent.. He wanted Technoblade to help him end everything, he started Lmanberg with one brother and was going to end it with the other.

Maybe then he could finally let go of this cursed family. Let go of Phil and Tommy, let go of _Technoblade._ He could rest in peace, die with nothing left to lose.

Wilbur could care less about Technoblade as a person because in his mind he wasn't a person. He was a weapon. A weapon! Why didn't anyone else see that? It was clear from the way he was in his childhood, the way he acted now.

No they all knew too, Dream was lying. He had seen it, the bloodthirst in his brother's eye as he had him pinned down.

Wilbur had no remorse for this, he tells himself that every time he sees Technoblade cower. In fact, seeing his brother like that fills him with a power he never knew he desired until now. Maybe it was because he finally felt control over emotions, even if they weren't his. Maybe it was because he was the one that inflicted suffering. Wilbur didn't care.

He takes one last and long glance at the button before walking away.

|||Technoblade POV|||

"...offer me something?" He stares at Schlatt suspiciously, he didn't expect the ram hybrid to try and offer something to him, then again he didn't seem like the type to use brute force to get what he wanted. He seemed far too cunning to resort to violence. Schlatt only responds with a wider smile, walking closer to him and gesturing to the log he was sitting on.

Technoblade hesitantly nods and Schlatt sits down next to him, tilting his head back to stare at the cloudy sky. He radiates with a charming and confident aura, one that eases the tension between them. Not enough for Technoblade to let his guard down though, he didn't trust this man one bit.

"Yes, I'll get straight to the point since we shouldn't prattle on about useless things. Hybrid blood negates whatever shit goes on with you, right?"

Technoblade's breath halts and his head snaps towards Schlatt, eyes narrowed. He goes to open his mouth when Schlatt interrupts him again.

"I saw it when you were trying to murder Dream, which by the way was amusing to watch. You really have no control over anything do you?" The grin he gives is pointed, it makes Technoblade glance away with furrowed eyebrows. He should stop letting him get into his head, he already had enough to deal with in that regard.

"So what?"

As if he was waiting for it, Schlatt claps his hands together and leans forward with a smirk, "well assuming that you actually _want_ to fix whatever problem you have- I have an endless supply of hybrid blood right here!" He gestures to his body, eyes narrowing and smirk widening.

"What?!" Technoblade can't stop himself from shouting it out, his ears ring and his mind struggles to comprehend what Schlatt was offering. He is immediately flooded with relief, confusion, suspicion, and maybe even hope.

He doesn't remember the last time he felt hope about a situation.

"Well yeah, anything to help out a fellow hybrid, right?"

Schlatt definitely didn't seem like the type to give things away for free, Technoblade didn't want to get stuck in a deal he couldn't get out of, or else he might not be able to protect his family. _Or Dream._

"There's nothing for me to give in return though-" He begins to ramble only for Schlatt to lightly shove a finger against his lips, he jerks back in shock, eyes widening at the move just played. Anxiety flutters in his fast-beating heart, his mind was beginning to come up with scenarios of what could go wrong.

"Free of charge!" Schlatt tilts his head to the side to peer into the darkness, eyes scanning for something Technoblade doesn't notice, "-for the time being, but even _if_ I did want something out of it later on– you'd be able to back out of the deal at any time."

It feels too good to be true. Technoblade knows not to trust easily, so he hesitates on his words, which causes Schlatt to frown distastefully.

 _ **'I think this is a good deal**_.'

"Shut up, I don't trust _you_ one bit." He hisses under his breath and Schlatt raises an eyebrow, not bothering to question it, which Technoblade felt a bit relieved about.

"You're seriously thinking about turning down free hybrid blood?" Schlatt shuffles closer and paints a smile back onto his face, "I'm not out to get you, unlike some other people."

"Why do you keep bringing that up? I'm not going to doubt Wilbur like that- he's– he's done so much for me!" He already knows what Schlatt is implying and he loathes it, backing off and glaring at him. His eyes drift over his features, the two rather sharp horns that poke out from his head, he wonders what Schlatt was trying to get out of this. "Why are you trying to make me believe that? To make me betray him?"

Schlatt lets out a sad chuckle, hand going onto Technoblade's shoulder, causing him to tense up. He then leans in closer, his breath brushing against his ear, it causes uncomfortable shivers to run up Technoblade's spine.

"How do you think Wilbur found you in the town that day? Don't tell me you actually believe he went through every single building to find you? Because we both know that isn't true."

"He... it was because- he-" Technoblade's eyes widen and he shivers faintly, but he can tell Schlatt saw it by the way he grins, his vision blurs from the light coating of tears building up. He couldn't answer that, "he must've heard me-"

"No, Techno. We both know why, it's because he knew it was going to happen. _Where_ it was hoing to happen  
He set you up."

"Shut up!" He tries to sound threatening but his voice comes out cracked and high, almost pleading. His head tilts to the ground and he feels himself slip further into his mind. Wilbur did that to him? Did Wilbur let him get raped so he could gain something? If he did then- then Technoblade had no one he could trust anymore. There's no way he did that. But Schlatt was _right,_ how did he know to go there to find him? Maybe he saw the door and- "He... he wouldn't do that to me-"

"Oh yes, he would. He wants to power over everything including me, and sadly that includes you too."

"If- if he did do that– then everything was a lie? No, it wasn't! They were all just lying-?"

"Not quite, I mean Tommy still cares about you right?" Technoblade looks up at Schlatt startled, not realizing he said that out loud.

"Why are you bothering trying to comfort me?" Technoblade mutters and tilts his head up to look Schlatt in the eyes, they are cold, like icebergs that were sinking into his own disturbed seas.

"Because you're like me, a hybrid, but not _just_ that." A pause, the wind howls in the background, but the tense air around them blocks it out, "you're misunderstood, people see you as a monster but you're just another of millions trying to survive. So what if you resort to violence? They act like that because they have never sunken low to our level."

The hand on his shoulder goes down to his arm, grip loose but tight enough to leave a phantom feeling tickling his skin.

"I want to help you because I can understand you, I might be the only person who can truly do that."

Now that they were alone he could finally ask the hybrid some questions, he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, trying to calm his nerves."Why did you send Tubbo to spy on me?"

Schlatt chuckles, eyes crinkling from the growing smile, "I was sending him to look out for you, I know Wilbur more than you probably do, I was concerned about what he was going to try."

"But- why did you try to force me to kill him?"

"Think of it as tough love, someone needed to snap you out of your endless cycle of self pity. I reckoned that making you take out someone who betrayed you would help you." Schlatt's ear twitches briefly, snapping Technoblade from his idle gaze into the sky.

Self pity? Was he pitying himself as well?

"I- I still don't trust this. I don't trust that you only have good intentions." He murmurs, watching as Schlatt sighs and stands up, hand outstretching to give him something. A small leather pouch falls into his hands, which he then opens hesitantly.

Inside is a small vial, it was a cloudy grey, not quite as see-through as the one Philza gave to him. But Technoblade can tell there is blood inside, he looks up with a slight scowl as his thoughts grow heavy. He hastily shuts the leather before any murmurs can tempt him.

' ** _Agree to the deal, this seems like a great way to solve all our problems.'_**

"That's my blood, it will help with whatever it does. If you need me to top it up, come to Manberg's Whitehouse, they'll let you inside with no trouble." Schlatt stretches and raises a hand to his mouth to cover a yawn, "you should sleep soon, don't want to faint during the day."

Then he strolls away, giving Technoblade a small wave before disappearing through the bushes and shrubs. Leaving him alone with a pestering voice.


	25. Chapter 25

|||Technoblade POV|||

The room closes in on him like a grey fist, squeezing the life out of him. He hunches over, the hand tangled in his tousled hair tightening. His other hand clasps around the vial like a lifeline, refusing to let go, his skin paling from the lack of blood flow.

This was a bad idea; keeping the vial with him. He should just destroy it now while he has the chance. For all he knew it could be poisoned, Schlatt could have laced it with a toxin to kill or cripple him.

But was Schlatt really that bad?

Why did Technoblade even think he was bad? _Wilbur_. Wilbur told him that, but how much could he trust from Wilbur anymore, how much of everything had just been a lie? Technoblade doesn't know what to trust anymore. He wants to continue trusting and obeying Wilbur, just so he can fill the void in his heart. So he can feel loved again, even if that love was pitiful or fake. But he knew that was unhealthy.

But it's not like Technoblade was normal or healthy to start with. Did he even care anymore? He's been sitting in a room for the past four hours, staring at a stupid vial. He could count the number of bubbles in the glass.

He didn't really care anymore.

Technoblade can't even bring himself to cry or shout, so he just sits limply against the stone wall, eyes unfocused and hazy. His mind is empty- except it's not. He would never be able to have that luxury. Unless he had the blood- but he shouldn't.

**_'Why are you even considering this? Don't get rid of that blood.'_ **

"Why are you even on _his_ side? Isn't this blood meant to stop you from talking?"

 **_'Techie, it's not "_ ** **stopping"** **_me from talking, it's satisfying my hunger,_ ** **our** **_bloodlust. This is an optimal outcome, I lack care for_ ** **how** **_we get blood, I just seek it.'_ **

"Don't... don't call me that- stop fucking saying that nickname! Only- only Philza can..."

 ** _'Techie techie-_** **Techie stop it! It hurts Techie! Listen to your** _Father_ ** _!_** _Please!_ ** _'_** The voice begins to mock his father,it's voice is static in his ears and filling his mind. He squeezes his eyes shut and clamps his hands over his ears in a futile attempt to shut it up.

The phantom feeling of blood fills his mouth, he struggles to breathe, clawing at his throat as the liquid chokes him. Technoblade lurches forward, the vial falling to the ground with a clink as he wheezes for air. He can barely hear it as it rolls forward.

The blood was everywhere, it was dripping from the walls, it was staining his hands and wettening his neck. He can feel the liquid dribble in his eyes, turning his vision crimson. Technoblade feels itchiness spread throughout his body, like feathers were being dragged under his skin.

"S-stop it!" He chokes out and shouts, the sound being cut off by his gasping. His throat burns, his lungs and eyes sting as though needles were squirming their way in, the liquid pouring down his cheeks. He can hear Philza screaming, it's muffled, but the sound echoes off the walls and pushes him down further into the corner he had wedged himself in.

"STOP IT!"

Silence fills the room.

Philza's screams fade into nothingness, the blood dissipates into the air like smoke. His throat still burns as he looks down at his hands, seeing his own blood sinking into his skin. Technoblade cracks out a sob as he bends down to rest his sweating forehead on the cold stone, hugging himself and trying to soothe his tears.

He doesn't remember the last time he had a hallucination that violent, he doesn't understand why it happened until his eyes drift up and lock onto the vial.

The voice was messing with him, it was dragging him back into the dark places of his mind. Making him relive memories he tried to avoid.

He leans up and shakily grabs the vial, eyes unable to look away.

He had a way to stop it.

|||Dream POV|||

He had been in many awkward situations before, but this had to be on the top of his list. He sits across from Tommy, eyes peering through his mask to observe as the child sits dully next to Tubbo, who was still in bed.

Luckily it seems like Tubbo had dozed off, finally stilling and breathing slowly. Dream notices how Tommy loosens up, tense shoulders collapsing onto themselves as he rests his head on his arms. They briefly make eye contact but Tommy glances away before Dream can say anything. Tommy looked far more worn out since the last time they met, his hair was unruly and eyebags were growing under his eyes.

Dream sighs and leans back, about to slip off into thought when Tommy suddenly clears his throat. He looks back at him with an eyebrow raised, though Tommy wasn't able to see it.

"So, uh... you're not with Schlatt are you? I assumed you were but you- you helped Technoblade." Tommy rubs his neck and looks away, eyes darting from wall to wall as he tries to appear uninterested. Dream could chuckle at the attempt, but he sees the way the boy shoots a glance his way, trying to analyze his mood.

"I was never on his 'side'; we had a neutral agreement that neither of us was bound to. Though I suspect that agreement is no longer." Dream sighs and rubs his head, which had begun to pound against his skull. He hadn't been taking care of himself recently, his body was probably dehydrated and lacking sleep.

"Did Technoblade hurt you?" Tommy's eyes flick down to his side, which had numbed long ago.

"Yes, though he wasn't in the right state of mind, so I'm not going to blame him."

Tommy looks like he wants to object, but he stops, doubts seeping into his features. Dream ponders on it, did Technoblade's brother not like him?

He hopes Technoblade comes back soon, he seemed extremely unstable before he asked Dream to leave- which he was admittedly extremely hesitant too. Despite that Dream couldn't stop focusing on the pinkette's expression the moment he had taken his mask off. It was such a calm expression, Dream hadn't seen Technoblade that relaxed before. Was it him that caused it? The thought that his face had calmed Technoblade was strange... but also comforting. Maybe it was a sign that he wasn't the only one going through these rapidly increasing emotions.

"I... I'm scared that he will-" A loud bang interrupts Tommy, causing the both of them to leap to their feet. Dream hears Tubbo stir under the sheets and goes to shove Tommy back down, who falls onto the floor with a yelp.

"What the fuck-?"

"Keep an eye on your friend." Dream leaves and closes the door quietly, not bothering to entertain the protests coming from the younger boy. He takes a deep breath and tiptoes towards the front room to check the origin of the noise, careful to not make a sound to alert the person of his presence. Upon reaching the door he peers around and his eyes lock with Technoblade who stares at him in surprise.

The pinkette looked terrible to say the least, his hair in tangles and knots down his shoulders. Dream has to stop himself from flinching as he sees his throat, which was covered in deep scratches and dried blood.

"What the hell happened to your throat?" Dream storms towards him and grabs him by the shoulder, trying to get a better look at the wound. Technoblade doesn't respond, his eyes unfocused and somewhere else.

"Pinkie?"

The pinkette snaps from his mind, eyes finally looking down to stare at Dream.

"I did that, it's fine. I sorted everything out. I stopped it, it stopped. I-"

Dream wants to push further, but Technoblade seems to have drifted off again, eyes focused on an unimportant crack in the stone floor. Dream sighs and gently grabs his wrist, noticing his fist clamped around something. He would pry into that later, his curiosity peaked once again by the hybrid.

Dream leads him to his room, trying to get Technoblade to say something. He carefully pushes him onto the bed and leaves for a moment to grab medical supplies, returning to find Technoblade on the floor shivering.

He rushes over to him and holds him, pulling him up. " _Technoblade_ what's wrong?"

The pinkette's eyes glimmer with tears, ears flat against the sides of his head as his chin trembles, "the voice won't s-stop, it keeps making me remember things... I want it to stop but-"

Technoblade cuts himself off and whimpers, hands going to cover his ears. Dream rubs his back and tries to usher him back onto his bed.

"I, uh- It'll be fine, I'll be here if you need anything, I won't leave you until it dies down."

"I can't trust anyone anymore, I don't know what to do-"

"You can trust me."

Technoblade looks up at him, a tangle of hair tumbling down his face. Dream resists the urge to tuck it away.

"But you said that y-you just stick with me out of curiosity-" The pain in his voice hurts Dream, he didn't mean to hurt the hybrid by saying that, he was just trying to shove his feelings away.

"That was before I- I- uh..." Dream looks away with a flushed face, he hadn't had to explain his emotions properly before, trying to find the right words was still difficult, "I can't explain it, but I don't want to see you hurt anymore."

Technoblade stares at him with confusion for a moment before going limp in the bed, a sigh leaving his lips. He looked so tired under the lamp's light, eyebags doubled from the shadows running down his face. A deathly pale tint taints his skin. His eyes were still red and puffy from the breakdown earlier. His cheeks were flushed, either from the tears or from the cold outside.

"Emotions... are so tiring, I hate them."

Drem chuckles and smiles down at the pinkette, "yes they do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Since we won't get to see much of the Blood God's inner thought I'll explain it's thought process with the hybrid blood:
> 
> The Blood God is an insatiable entity, it only seeks blood and will never stop doing that. But as it states the way Technoblade obtains the blood doesn't matter, because as long as it does get fed it will get satisfied, even if the satisfaction is brief


	26. Chapter 26

|||Technoblade POV|||

Technoblade wakes up with a jolt and a pounding headache, he groans and shuffles up, grabbing his forehead and muttering. It feels as if his skull was about to explode, hammering with a dull ache. It takes a moment for the blurriness in his eyes to clear, he rapidly blinks it away to properly take in his surroundings.

He was at their base, the same disgusting walls creep back into view, the dull gray was enough to remind him of things he disliked. Technoblade sits up, feeling the strength slowly wake up along with him. His yawn morphs into a yelp and he kicks the sheets off his body to scramble away from Dream, who was sleeping on the end of his bed.

The man wakes up with a jerk, quickly flinging himself to his feet and preparing to fight, fists faltering as he makes eye contact with Technoblade.

"What the hell?!" Technoblade tries to contain his voice, but he was too shocked to properly control himself. Dream groans and stretches, sighing to himself as he collapses back onto the edge of the bed.

Technoblade finally notices that his mask was off and on the floor beside them, Dream's hair sits just below his ears in tangled locks, a dusty blond that reminds Technoblade of hay. For some strange reason he wants to reach out his hand and touch it, to test just how fluffy it looks.

"I said I wouldn't leave, I must've dozed off or something while watching over you," Dream forces out a chuckle and grabs the mask, hastily fastening it over his face and covering up his glimmering eyes once again.

"Oh, uh, thank you?" Technoblade doesn't know how to respond to the statement, so he instead shuffles onto his feet.

_**'He could've killed you.'** _

"But he wasn't going to, shut up." The voice's intrusion echoes through the headache, the voice pulsing with every throb against his skull. Technoblade feels himself start to slip off into his own thoughts when a hand on his shoulder snaps him awake.

Dream was gently pulling him towards the bed, sitting him back down and tilting his chin up. Technoblade flinches at having his neck exposed, but Dream doesn't force it, he waits until he relaxes down before tilting his face up again, starting to investigate his wound.

"If you feel uncomfortable just say so, I just want to check if it was healing healthily."

Technoblade feels a warmth in his chest as he feels Dream softly fiddle with his bandages, being careful not to hurt him as he checks his throat. Feeling someone be so soft and careful with him was calming.

It makes him feel loved? Was this what love even feels like? He remembers this warm feeling with Wilbur and Philza. It reminds him of when Philza would wrap him up in wings and hum him to sleep during his horrid nights, keeping him safe during hallucinations and panic attacks.

Maybe he could trust Dream, he didn't know anymore though.

After rewrapping the bandages Dream pulls away and stands up, yawning and walking to the other side of the room to shuffle through some things he'd brought over. "It doesn't seem to be infected, you should be more careful, Pinkie."

Technoblade absentmindedly nods, tuning out the words as his eyes drift to the door. His ear twitches as he hears shuffling from outside. For a moment he panics, the worst coming to mind, but he relaxes seconds later as he feels a hand on his shoulder. It reminds him that he wasn't currently alone, that he was with someone. He waits expectantly, hearing a knock at the door.

"Come in." Dream answers for him, he looks up to see him lean up and cross his arms.

The door creaks open and a tuft of brown hair pokes out from behind the wood, moments later Wilbur walks inside with a heavy frown. Technoblade's breath hitches as he recalls Schlatt's claims from their last meeting. He doesn't know how to feel knowing that Wilbur could have been the reason he got...

He feels his heartbeat pick up as Wilbur walks towards him, breathing quickening as his struggles to stay calm. The only thing he could think about was whether or not Wilbur was going to be mad at him for not telling him where he was. He remembers being told to inform Wilbur of everything he does, and he failed to do that. Technoblade failed to do something so simple.

He prepares to be yelled at when Wilbur stops in front of him, but instead two soft hands grab his cheeks and tilt his head up to get a better look at his throat. His fingers burn his skin like a fire, Technoblade has to stop himself from flinching away. Wilbur tilts his head back down to look at him in the eyes, he locks in eye contact and freezes- seeing the tears bubbling in Wilbur's eyes.

Technoblade immediately second guesses himself- he wasn't ready for this, he still hadn't been able to decide on something. He hates the way he warms up at Wilbur's stare, he despises the way he wants to pretend like nothing happened between him and Schlatt.

"Techie what happened?! I-I was so worried!" Wilbur's eyes flicker down to his throat, thumb brushing the fabric.

"This was just an accident, I'm fine now."

_**'You can bet that won't be the last time-'** _

"Don't you dare," Technoblade immediately growls at it, the last thing he wanted was to go through another one of those episodes here. Not in front of Wilbur or Dream, he wouldn't want either of them to panic.

Wilbur casts him a strange glance, one full of concern and confusion. "Where were you, Techie?"

He shudders at the tone, he didn't sound angry or irritated, he sounded calm, _expectant_. "I was at my own house, I needed some time to myself. I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you-"

Wilbur pulls him into a hug, catching him off guard. His hands hover behind Wilbur's back stunned, he can feel his brother's shoulders trembling as his hands curl into his shirt.

"I was so worried- I- I wasn't there for you and when I heard what happened I was scared that you-" Wilbur trails off, whispering so only Technoblade could hear him, "I was so scared that you would hurt yourself for losing control, I know you blame yourself."

Technoblade is just filled with more confusion, he doesn't know what to do or think anymore. He feels so safe with Wilbur like this, but then he remembers other moments between them. He remembers being shoved against a wall, the feeling of a hand against his throat. He remembers Wilbur's violent actions and harsh words as he unintentionally triggered Technoblade.

_**'Was it unintentional if he's the one that caused it?'** _

Technoblade shakes his head. He still doesn't want to believe that Wilbur set him up, even though it made more sense than what he told himself.

"T-thank you, Wilbur..." He opts to hug back, eyes scrunched shut as he tries to block out all reason and doubt. He could live with this, just for a bit longer. He was scared of being alone with the voice again. He was terrified of losing this, even if it was pretend, even if it wasn't real.

It was real. He keeps telling himself that. It is real it is real it is, it has to be.

_**'Stop lying to yourself, it's honestly pathetic.'** _

"I'm not lying to myself..."

"Hm?" Wilbur looks up with a confused face, but Technoblade is too focused on the voice in his head.

 _ **'Pitiful creature, you realise just how little everyone cares for you?'**_ It's words seep into his mind like poison, or maybe acid.

Was it always this loud?

A flick to his forehead catches his attention, Wilbur is frowning at him with concern. "You seem off, you should take a day to relax. I don't want you pushing yourself."

Wilbur then glances over to Dream, who had been watching the encounter with crossed arms and an aura of irritation. "Dream I need to speak to Technoblade alone, can you leave for a few minutes?"

He looks like he's about to object when Technoblade interrupts him, "just for a moment, please..." Whatever Wilbur wanted to say must've been important.

Dream stands still for a few moments, before grunting and leaving the room. After the door slams shut he's left alone with Wilbur, who is looking at the ground with sullen eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I just wanted to warn you, uh, Tommy blames you for what happened." Technoblade feels his heart stop, "But it's not his fault Techie! He just doesn't understand your situation like I do."

"Oh..."

"I'm sure he'll get over it. I just didn't want you to be caught off-guard."

"Thank you." Technoblade sighs deeply, when would he ever be able to have a break? It was just one tragedy after another, his ability to keep up was crumbling, he feared he would fall behind and be unable to catch up. That he would sink too far in the sea to be able to swim up in time.

Wilbur leans in, a grin growing on his lips, "you shouldn't trust him you know? He's been talking to Tubbo and we can't trust Tubbo."

"We?"

"Well of course, you are here to help me remember? I hope you haven't forgotten all I've done for you, Techie."

He shakes his head and looks down at the ground, Wilbur was right. Of course he was.

After that Wilbur pulls away, smirk on his face. He gives Technoblade one last head pat before leaving him alone, sauntering out of the room and leaving the door wide open for Dream to creep his way back inside.

"Pinkie?"

"Take me to Tommy, I need to talk to him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowie Wilbur is a two faced wanker ain't here?
> 
> Anyway the next chapter is going to be a past memory, I've noticed there's been a lot of angst and I think a bit of wholesome fluffiness is something we all need


	27. Short Story of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This could be considered a chapter since this might relate to future events, but giving it's own title helps me find it later on.
> 
> For more context the incident hasn't happened yet. Wilbur is 13, Technoblade is 12 and Tommy is 8

|||Philza POV|||

It was hard enough keeping two children in check, it was hard enough that Wilbur had just turned thirteen a couple weeks ago. But now he has another child to deal with, not that Philza could complain much. Techie was an interesting fellow, he was shy but extremely considerate of others. Maybe Tommy and Wilbur could learn a thing or two from him, Philza chuckles to himself as he watches them run around the town square.

Techie remains glued to his side, eyes nervously darting from person to person while his ears glue themselves down to the sides of his head. Philza could only comfort him with his wings and humming, letting his soft feathers drape over the shivering hybrid like a blanket.

Philza would have waited before taking him into town, but this was a learning experience his little Techie needed.

“Shh shh it’s okay Techie, I’ll be here to protect you, these people can’t hurt you.” He was telling the truth, he would stick a blade into anyone who dared even try to hurt Techie.

“I-I know it’s just- different, I guess…” Techie mumbles into his sleeve and turns his head away from the crowds. A few people glance in their way, but none linger. Philza wasn’t popular per say, but the people in this local town knew him. 

And they also knew Wilbur and Tommy, he watches with a smile as his other two children dart around the marketplace, buying fruit and sweets with the money he had lent them.

“Different can be a good thing, keep that in mind,” Philza whispers to him, trying to relax him.

Wilbur prances back towards them, hands full and grin stretched wide on his little chubby face. He stops in front of Technoblade and tilts down, a confused expression on his face.

“Is Techno okay?”

“Yes he’s just new to this.”

Wilbur smiles and holds out a biscuit to Techie, who looks up with eyes shimmering with tears, “I-is that for me?”

“Of course! I wasn’t sure what flavour you liked but I know that sweets always help my mood!” Wilbur giggles and places the food in Technoblade’s hand, who looks up with a happier face. Philza sighs in relief and warmly smiles.

It was moments like these that he appreciated his sons, they made his world so much lighter.

“Thank you…”

“No problem! If you want more just ask!” And with that Wilbur darts off again to regroup with Tommy, leaving Techie with Philza.

He just stares at the cookie with an unreadable face, eyes crinkling as the faintest smile creeps onto his face. Techie takes a small nibble from the edge of the biscuit, face immediately lighting up.

“Wilbur has good taste right?”

Techie nods, smile widening.

After a few more moments Technoblade becomes more jittery, hands on Philza’s wings as his head peeks over the feathers. His ears perk up at the loud bustling town around them, eyes trained to every little thing he could see.

“Whoa…”

His eyes sparkle with curiosity, but Philza wasn’t finished showing him the places he wanted to go.

He calls his children and they quickly make their way back to him, like little ducklings.

Tommy and Wilbur knew where they were going the moment their feet touched the forest floor, immediately bouncing around and laughing with each other. Technoblade looks confused, but Philza raises a finger to his lips, not wanting to ruin the surprise.

“Where are we going? I thought we were going to stay in town.”

“This place is much more secluded and special, I take your brothers here when they feel sad.”

The walk lasts for a few more moments, but eventually the grass gets softer under their feet, and the rushing of water creeps into their ears. The tinkling of water hitting stone gets his children excited, Wilbur and Tommy rush on ahead while Technoblade’s ears perk up hesitantly.

Philza watches as Techie’s face turns into one of amazement, eyes sparkling as his mouth opens agape.

Philza brings him further into the clearing, letting the view sink in.

In front of them is a giant waterfall, glistening clear water tumbles down moss covered rocks into a mist of white below. A dark cavern that droops down further than their eyes can see, the bottom blocked by a cushion of white mist and fog. Technoblade rushes out from under his wing to get a closer look, eyes wide as he dips a hoove into the falling cold water. 

“W-what is this?!” He sounds just as amazed as he looks, dipping an arm into the waterfall before pulling it back with a yelp. 

“It’s a waterfall, if you ever feel sad just ask and I will take you here.” Philza walks up behind him and ruffles his hair.

Then something magical happens.

Technoblade giggles, a soft quiet sound that contrasts the yelling in the background.

Philza doesn’t feel the tears in his eyes until one rolls down his cheek, his smile never leaves his face as he hugs Technoblade from behind, wing wrapping around him.


	28. Chapter 27

_"What... what happened?" Wilbur stands confused and terrified at his father's bed, watching as the puddle of crimson creeps through the fabric, "what did you two do...?"_

_The blood is on his hands, they tremble as he raises them to his face. It's dry, cracking as he curls his fingers, he watches the blood crumble down into his palm like red snowflakes._

_Behind him he hears sobbing, Tommy is leaning against the wall, body racking as he cries and shouts._

_Technoblade is frozen, he doesn't move an inch as his eyes stay plastered on his father. Wilbur doesn't understand, why isn't he crying? Was he not upset? Or maybe he was just too shocked, Wilbur just notices that tears never leave his own eyes, they stay stagnant, blurring his vision._

_"Techno... Tommy... what the hell were you two doing?" Wilbur snaps and shouts at them, turning around to glare at them. Technoblade shrinks into himself and he hears Tommy's sobs get louder._

_Why was father like this?_

_"I-I wanted to get the bullies back for hurting me so I got Techno to help me- b-but then- they- he-!" Tommy whimpers and wails, tears falling down his face like waterfalls._

_Wilbur's glare directs itself at Technoblade, who musters up the courage to glance up at him, "one of them hurt Tommy, so I got out to defend them- but I attacked a little too hard and scratched their arm open..." He sighs as his chin trembles, "a-after that it's blurry."_

_A storm buzzes behind Wilbur's eyes, it fills his stomach with a burning lava. All he wants to do is scream and shout at them, to yell so loud he drowns out the_ _buzz. But instead his eyes drift back to his father, watching the puddle creep in the sheets like a poisonous ivy._

_No, his father was fine! This was probably just a dream, they were happy earlier today. He wouldn't accept this, Wilbur's hands grab the sheets and pull them down, just to confirm it._

_All he sees is a shivering body, pale skin fading into a wing, the other wing gone- a fleshy stump of pulsing flesh in its place. The blood pumps and trickles down Philza's body, and the tears in his eyes finally spill._

_He growls and tugs at his hair, "you idiots- why wouldn't you tell me? I could've helped! I could've... I..." Tears spill from his eyes as he glances back at his brothers, "I could've stopped this-"_

_Wilbur's shoulders jerk forward as a whimper leaves his lips, he quickly covers his mouth and furrows his eyebrows, why was he acting like this? He was the older brother, he should be the brave one. That's what Philza told him. Wilbur looks up to stare into Technoblade's eyes, his own glisten like dark pools of oil, tears rapidly gathering and trickling down his flushing cheeks._

_"Get out..." The tangles of hair between his fingers threaten to pull out, stinging his scalp, "get the fuck out of here!"_

_Technoblade flinches, opening his mouth to say something before looking down. He grabs Tommy by the wrist and pulls him away, Wilbur watches as the door is slammed shut._

_He turns to look back at his father._

_His hand goes to pat his father's hair, breaking out into sobs as the dam finally collapses. He falls, hands gripped tightly in the sheets as he buries his face into the mattress._

_"I'm sorry dad- I'm sorry I'm sorry. I couldn't do what you wanted me to, p-please don't hate me..." Wilbur's sniffles died down after a while, he couldn't act like this. He needed to patch it up before he bleeds out and dies. He didn't have time to cry._

|||Technoblade POV|||

Technoblade taps his foot on the ground as he stands outside Tommy's door, mentally counting down before trying to walk in, but after reaching zero he finds himself still stuck in the same place.

"You can do this, just open the door and apologise-" Technoblade lightly slaps his face and scowls, "don't wimp out now."

**_'Now you're talking to yourself?'_ **

"Better than talking to you." He snarks back and shakes his head, going back to face the door. Why was he do nervous? It wasn't the first time he's had to do this, which was a bitter thought. Technoblade's hand goes out to pull the door open, but the door flings open just as his finger touches the cold metal.

He flinches back as Tommy walks out, bumping into him and letting out a squeak. He scrambles to catch his younger brother before he falls to the ground, hands clasped around his arms.

"Sorry, I was just about to walk inside." Technoblade mumbles and looks away, Tommy pulls away and brushes himself off.

"Why're you here?" Tommy scowls and leans back against the doorframe, blocking out the view from inside. Technoblade almost recoils from the accusing tone, but Wilbur did warn him about this. So he quickly regains his composure and straightens himself up.

"I wanted to apologise and explain myself-"

"I don't think I could accept any excuses now, please get out of here before Tubbo knows you're here. He doesn't need to go through another panic attack because he hears your voice."

"...what?"

"Do you even realise just how much you scarred him? How much pain and fear he is in right now?!" Tommy yells and walks out, slamming the door behind him and shoving a finger at Technoblade's chest, "of course you don't- you fuck up and somehow always have something else to blame!"

"I... I didn't mean to! I didn't do anything on purpose, Tommy! Schlatt stabbed him and then-!"

"And then you lost control, is that going to happen every time you see blood? Huh?! Because if so then why bother staying here?" Tommy grits his teeth and blinks back tears, "I'm scared of you! I'm scared for my family and you don't seem to understand that!"

**_'Look at that, your own brother hates you now.'_ **

"H-he doesn't hate me, he's just-"

"Please talk to _me!_ Stop talking to some voice in your head Techno! I just want one conversation with you where you don't end up rambling."

Technoblade bites back a scoff, sadness mixing with frustration, he knew Tommy didn't properly understand. But his words still hurt him badly.

"As if it's that easy, you just say that because you don't know what it's like to have something like it in your head."

"What is it then?! You never tell me! Philza and Wilbur never do! You all treat me like a child and maybe I am but-!" Tommy's voice cracks, "do you even consider my feelings?"

"I consider your safety-"

"No you don't-"

"Please just listen to me!" Technoblade pleas, fists tightening as he tries to calm down.

"I don't want to hear any stupid explanations."

After that Technoblade stops, why was he even bothering? Maybe he should just leave this, maybe pushing Tommy away was for the better. After all he was right, if Technoblade couldn't control himself then he shouldn't even be here, he was a risk to his family and his friends.

**_'Make him shut up. Make him stop talking. Hurt him.'_ **

"I'm not going to hurt him-"

**_'You said that last time, and before that you swore to never hurt anyone again. But look at Tubbo- remember Philza.'_ **

"That was you! That wasn't me!"

The walls close in on him, he can hear dripping from above but he's too scared to look up. He knows the blood wasn't real, but it's stench seeps into his nose like poisonous gas.

"Techno, who are you talking to-?"

"Shut up! You don't get to do that Tommy! You can't just demand-" He looks up and almost screams out loud. Tommy stares down at him with a face drenched in red. It cascades down his cheeks, leaking from his eyes like tears as it paints his skin crimson.

He was slipping into another hallucination again, last time he hurt himself- what if he hurt Tommy. He backs away and bumps into someone, not bothering to check who it was before dashing back to his room.

The colours of the walls fade from gray to a black, the floor moves and squirms under his feet like an ocean of snakes, climbing up his legs and dragging him down. Technoblade shouts and thrashes, eyes blown wide as he kicks the moving darkness.

Murmurs, so many echo around him. He's running down a hallway- people are chasing him. He can hear _the sweeping of robes on the ground, bone jewelry jingling against skin._

"Get away from me!" He screams and feels a burning in his head.

He couldn't afford to be caught by them, if he did he'd get trapped again- _experimented_ with.

An idea flashes in his mind, he had nothing else to lose. Technoblade needed this to stop at all costs.

He pulled a hand free and shoved it into his pocket, taking out the vial and holding it to his mouth. Without second thought he bites through the glass, ignoring the pain and instead focusing on gulping the liquid down. He feels it pour down his throat like a cold honey.

It was a desperate action, and his consciousness fades out before he can heed the results. He hears his name being called out by multiple people, but he can't make out who.  
  



	29. Chapter 28

|||Tommy POV|||

He sits outside Technoblade’s bedroom with jittery nerves, tapping his foot on the floor as he rests his head against the stone wall behind him. 

He can hear chattering from inside, muffled and unidentifiable. Tommy knew that Dream and Wilbur were in there taking care of Technoblade.

Tommy’s eyes sting, he feels as though he is about to cry but the tears never come. He sighs and closes his eyes in an attempt to sooth them.

He really fucked up.

He’s angry at multiple things; firstly he’s pissed off at Technoblade for ignoring him and then running off. But he’s also pissed off at himself, for being so blunt and aggressive. In the heat of the moment it felt right, it felt wonderful letting all of his pent up frustration out. But it was irrational.

When was his anger ever rational? Tommy struggled to vent his emotions properly, so they would always build up until he burst.

But Tommy regrets who he let it out onto, he regrets hurting Technoblade. Even though he wishes he could go back in time he was stuck with the consequences, he just hopes that Technoblade would be willing to talk to him after this.

Honestly he was scared for Technoblade. Tommy had watched his face morph into one of pure horror, he had only ever seen that face when Technoblade had snapped back into reality after tearing off Philza’s wing.

He’ll probably end up having more nightmares about that face, as if he didn’t already have enough problems to worry about.

“Tommy…?”

His head jerks up to see Tubbo inching closer to him, blanket wrapped around him like a cape.

“Tubbo? Go back to bed you don’t need to be here-”

“I want to be.” He takes a seat next to Tommy and wraps his blanket around him, Tommy snuggles into the warmth with a faint smile. Tubbo always knew how to cheer him up, even in the worst of situations.

“What happened? I heard shouting and screaming…” Tubbo looks him in the eyes, determination scrawled over his face. Tommy wouldn’t be able to wiggle his way out of this one.

“I got angry and yelled at Technoblade… and- and he freaked out.”

“Why were you angry at Technoblade?”

“I…” There were many reasons, not all of them were a direct result of Technoblade himself. But Tommy had been drowning in stress and fear, and Technoblade was the first outlet given to him.

God he felt like shit.

“I can’t explain it, I don’t want to…”

Tubbo pulls him into a hug, he hugs back with trembling shoulders. The faintest scent of blood stains the blanket, making Tommy remember many things.

“I won’t force you to say anything, but when you do want to I will always listen.”

|||Dream’s POV|||

When he heard screaming he ran as fast as he could, it was instinctive. His body moved before his mind registered the screams as Technoblades.

His feet pounded into the ground as he darted through the hallway, bursting through Technoblade’s door to check on him.

Dream’s heart stopped at the scene.

Technoblade was sprawled out on the floor, blood dripping from his mouth and staining his hand, which had shards of glass coating it. Dream rushes over to pull him over to the bed, eyes locking in on his face. His eyes were closed but he could tell they were swollen from crying, tear tracks stain his cheeks with glistening moisture. 

Blood trickles down his chin so Dream carefully pries his mouth open. He can see the front of his gums were cut up, revealing bone underneath. That was going to leave scars.

He tilts Technoblade to his side and watches as more blood leaks out, just to make sure he didn't end up choking on it.

Dream then inspects his hand to see shards of tinted glass buried in his palm, he takes a moment to look around when he sees it.

A vial.

It was different to the one he had stolen, it was a dark smokey gray. The top cracked open and in pieces on the floor. Dream is filled with confusion, where did Technoblade get that?

It must’ve been hybrid blood, or else he wouldn’t bother carrying it around with him. But where did he get it?

His first instinct is Schlatt but he brushes it off, would Schlatt give Technoblade his own blood?

If it got him something in return he most definitely would, Dream scowls. Suddenly it becomes less unbelievable. He would have a talk with that ram hybrid soon, he needed to sort out boundaries, because Schlatt was dangerous, a man with many layers of deceit. 

Technoblade stirs from behind him, Dream spins around and shuffles over to him, using a thumb to brush the tears off his cheeks.

The pinkette looks so vulnerable, so miserable.

“What happened?”

He hears Wilbur ask him, walking into the room and closing the door behind him. His voice lacks any emotion, as if a soulless creature was talking.

“He must’ve panicked- hallucinated- I don’t know! Does he normally do this?”

Dream hears a sigh and more shuffling, Wilbur sits down next to him and focuses his tired eyes on the hybrid. “He used to, he would wake up crying every night. Sometimes I would have to spend hours with him before he would fall back asleep.”

Hearing such a compassionate thing come from such an apathetic voice would send shivers down Dream’s spine, if he hadn't already ran into these types of people. He had expected Wilbur to have treated Technoblade as a child the same way he treats him now. 

But people change he assumes.

“I assume he stopped at some point?”

“He stopped talking to any of us, it got really frustrating. Philza would focus on him every day, check in on him, wouldn’t force him into chores or make him do anything.” Wilbur lowly chuckles, “none of that matters, none of this ever matters. There’s no point fretting over spilled milk.”

Sounded like favouritism to Dream, or maybe a father’s guilt.

“Anyway, why is there blood everywhere?” Wilbur glances around and frowns.

“A vial, not sure who’s.”

Wilbur’s gaze darkens as his eyes drift over the splotches of red staining the cold stone. “Whose blood is that then.”

Dream didn’t want Wilbur in on his suspicions, he didn’t trust the man one bit, “probably got it from town or something.”

Wilbur absentmindedly nods, far off into his own head. Dream wasn't sure if he brought it but he could at least play off his own innocence.

“Well hopefully Technoblade wakes up refreshed soon. He’ll be needed in the near future.”

Before Dream can question him, Wilbur stands up and walks out.

Dream looks back at Technoblade, brushing away the blood on his lips. They appear more red and Dream finds himself wanting to lean in. 

When did he spiral down this far? At what point did curiosity turn into an excuse?

"What the fuck is wrong with me?"


	30. Chapter 29

_Was he going to die? Was this the end?_

_He sits under his desk, hands clamped over his mouth to stop the sobs from coming out. Loud screeching and firing can be heard from outside, piercing his ears and churning the blood inside his skull._

_Why did this happen? His parents didn’t deserve this, they weren’t cruel or animals like they said. They were wrong!_

_He hears stomping and a blood curdling scream, eyes going wide as his imagination scarred him._

_“Get back here you disgusting brute!”_

_He hears a whimper._

_Why were his parents being treated like this? They did nothing wrong._

_“Where is the damn kid? No human should be under your care.” The harsh voice of a man terrifies him, he hears his mother whimper._

_“He’s not here, he’s somewhere safe.” Even in pain his mother's voice holds confidence._

_“If he’s cooperating with you then we have no choice but to kill him too.”_

_They were… going to kill him too? What did that mean?_

_One final stomp echoes throughout the building, followed by sounds of choking and gurgling. After that his mother stopped responding, her voice lost forever. He shuffles further into his corner and squeezes his eyes shut, hoping he was safe from them in here._

_What would he do now? They knew what his face looked like, even if he dyed his hair black they'd still be able to tell. And his stupid eyes! He didn't have access to contacts._

_The footsteps get further and further away, until he hears a window smash and doors slamming shut. After that he was left with silence and a pulsing heart._

|||Dream POV|||

Dream’s stands in front of the obnoxiously fancy quartz walls of the Whitehouse, foot tapping on the ground impatiently on the spruce floor as he waits for Schlatt to answer his door.

He didn’t even care about being polite, he had enough of the ram’s trickery. 

His eyes drift over the engraved pictures in the walls, images of faces and animals, which Dream was certain were rams. 

“Come in.”

Dream sighs in irritation, scowl imprinted on his face as he bursts through the spruce door and slams it behind him. 

Schlatt sits in the centre of the room in front of a dark oak desk, bookshelves stacked up against the walls. Dream heavily doubted that he read any of those, they were probably just there for decoration. He could see a line of empty bottles stacked under the desk next to his feet, adding onto the small pile already on the top of his desk, it was probably an attempt to hide the fact he was drinking. Though Dream wasn’t sure why since everyone knew he was an alcoholic.

“Oh hello Dream, didn’t expect you here.”

“Cut the crap, I’m here for many reasons.” Dream walks over to the desk and rests his outstretched arms on the edges, hands digging into the wood as he glares at the smirking hybrid in front of him. He was so close, it would be so easy to punch the grin off his face, but Dream didn’t want to start a fight somewhere in the ram’s territory.

“Go on then.”

“First of all why the hell wasn’t I invited to the festival if you had important shit planned then?” Dream watches as Schlatt’s grin widens, his ear twitching as he rests his chin on his hands.

“I knew you wouldn’t agree with what I had planned, so I decided to not involve you. It’s not any of your business.”

Dream slams a hand down, the bottles on the desk bouncing from the impact, “It is my business, I didn’t want Technoblade getting involved in anything. I told you that!”

Schlatt chuckles, “and I do, that’s where we disagree. Anyway it’s not like you should be speaking for him.”

That might be true, maybe Dream was getting too involved. 

But with the way Technoblade was acting right now, he was easily manipulatable and susceptible to people like Schlatt or Wilbur. His mind wasn’t in the right place and he seemed to be highly unstable, Dream just wanted to help.

He had finally found someone that made his life more exciting and it was being ruined right in front of him.

“And you should be getting involved? I found a vial of hybrid blood with Technoblade and I have reason to believe it was yours.”

Schlatt’s ear perks up and he flashes a toothy grin, a look of smugness on his face. “Did he end up drinking it?”

Dream wasn’t sure whether or not he should be honest answering that, if Schlatt had done something with that blood then he couldn’t know it was in Technoblade’s system.

“It broke and as far as I know none of that blood was consumed. Probably for the better to- what’s the chance you did something to it?”

“It was my pure blood, I didn’t add anything else to it. You have my word,” Schlatt mocks indignation, acting as if he was offended by the accusation.

Dream doubts him, “Stop talking with Technoblade, I don’t want you messing with him anymore.”

“What if he comes to me? Would you even step in between us then?”

“He has no reason to get involved with you,” Dream hates how confident Schlatt always appeared, whether or not he was faking it was always in the air, a mystery.

“If I was able to solve his little issue then you’d just be making his life worse.” Schlatt glances back with narrowed eyes, “are you doing this for Technoblade or yourself?”

“I’m doing this for Technoblade!”

“Mhm…” Schlatt stands up and walks over to a bookshelf, rummaging through the documents. Dream watches and expects him to say something but he never responds, fixated on whatever he was doing.

“By the way, Dream… has your opinion on the deal changed in any way? I thought it was a rather good deal, my safety for your public image.”

He tenses, a flash of doubt lingering in his mind. It was bad to make a deal with Schlatt, but there was probably no other person that Dream could talk to and have the power to give him proper public recognition. Which was what he needed, he needed to be known in all the nearby towns, as soon as his name managed to get out was the moment that the poachers would be lured to him.

But was the risk worth it? “Has anything on your end changed?”

“Oh of course not, I only want more capable bodyguards, this job can be dangerous y'know?” Schlatt hums and opens a book, breezing through the pages before huffing and shoving it back with the rest.

There was a chance that if Dream accepted the deal he would be stuck protecting Schlatt for who knows how long, in his mind nothing was worth that, not even his goal.

“Then I don’t accept.”

“What a shame, that’s fine though I have another bodyguard in mind.” Schlatt chuckles to himself, an inside joke that Dream didn’t understand, “in fact probably just as capable as you.”

Dream’s head snaps up, “What the hell are you saying? Who?”

Schlatt chuckles in response, “our meeting is over, get out before I call in backup. They might not be as capable but you’ll definitely be outnumbered.”

Dream hadn’t brought anything to fight with besides his sword, and his side was still healing. The last thing he wanted to do was reopen the wound and start bleeding out here of all places, so he sighs and pulls back from the desk. Sneering at the ram hybrid before storming out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> I'm curious about this but... do you think this book will have a happy or sad ending?


	31. Chapter 30

|||Wilbur POV|||

Who is the real tool in all this?

He asks himself this every night, every morning, as he talks to his family and talks to more members of the cult.

Technoblade might be a tool to his own mind, losing control when **it** required a weapon to harvest blood. But Wilbur didn't realise how little control he had over his own life until now. Until he sits watching a sleeping Technoblade with tired eyes. Until _everything_.

Technoblade has a way of silencing the Blood God- _the user_ , when he drinks hybrid blood he gains control over his own actions, in other words _he's no longer a weapon._

But Wilbur didn't know how to fix himself.

Somewhere in his mind emotions leak out a hole he can't patch up, the gradual dim of colours in his life leave him in a cold, empty gray. A dark dullness drapes over his mind like a blanket and leaves his head fuzzy, what was today? How long had he been in exile? Why was the world so colourless?

Wilbur was sure he was stuck like this, he had been so fixated on L'manberg- _his L'manberg_. Who could blame him? No one could blame him, it was the only thing he could feel proud about, the only thing he didn't end up screwing up.

It was _his_ L'manberg, _**his L'manberg.**_ Nothing else in his life mattered anymore, his family didn't matter? Did they? Why was he doubting himself now? Wilbur wasn't sure it was even a proper family, to begin with. It all feels cold now.

He had no control, so was he more of a tool than Technoblade? Maybe he was doomed to chase his own despicable goal for the hope of recovering unrecoverable things.

In all honesty, his lack of care for that answer scared him more than the answer itself.

Wilbur was sick of this, he just wanted to finish his symphony so he could finally rest. He had never been able to hold onto something quite like L'manberg, he remembers the days after the incident. He remembers waiting and watching and hoping and- and _nothing_ happened. Nothing got better- his family spiraled down a dark inescapable pit.

He watched his father get more and more guilt-ridden, he watched as Tommy closed himself off from them. Wilbur watched as Technoblade got more unstable. At the time it was devastating, watching it all crumble in his palms, but now he looks back with a mind of apathy.

He could care less. Life was a screwed-up song everyone was forced to sing, don't know the lyrics and you get cast out to rot. Wilbur tried his best to sing his song when he left with Tommy, he had hoped getting out of that environment would help them.

He tried his best when he made L'manberg.

He failed.

But that wasn't a problem! No, it wasn't. Because even crappy songs get listened to after death, get talked about. And this ending was going to be wondrous, it was going to be a _blast._ That was what he was after all.

If he cut Technoblade's supply of blood he would become a tool again, then Wilbur could make sure it ended permanently. Then he could blow up L'manberg, then he could get Technoblade to kill his family. Then it would be over.

Wilbur giggles to himself, feeling sudden lightheadedness. It wasn't over yet, no it wasn't. He couldn't fail this time. He couldn't screw this up. It wouldn't be his fault it isn't his fault- it wasn't his fault-

|||Technoblade POV|||

When Technoblade wakes up he feels as though he is still dreaming. His legs and arms are numb, he can't seem to be able to move them. His eyes dart from each wall of the room until they land on a figure sitting in the corner.

He immediately recognises it as Wilbur, he looks as his brother sits with his face buried in his hands... just talking. It was quiet murmuring he couldn't make out, but it causes tingles to trail up his spine, like ice was being dragged down his spine.

"Wilbur...?"

His brother's face shoots up and his wide eyes lock in with Technoblade's. An uneasiness settles down between the two as Wilbur's eyes stay locked open, not blinking or revealing any emotion.

"Wilbur are you okay?" Technoblade feels a warm sensation in his arm, finding that he was able to move it.

Wilbur looks away, eyes distinct with a heavy frown, "I'm glad to see you're awake, I was expecting you to rest for longer if I'm being frank."

Was Wilbur worried for him? Why was he acting like this?

"Answer my question Wilbur- I-I mean-" Technoblade feels his heart stop as he realises his mistake, he shouldn't be ordering Wilbur around.

Wilbur's eyes narrow and he turns to glare at Technoblade, the sudden hostility makes him freeze up.

"I'm fine. I just wanted to make sure _you_ were fine." Wilbur stands up and his gaze glides over Technoblade's neck, "does your neck still hurt?"

"I- no it's fine now, I can barely feel it."

Wilbur hums, walking closer to Technoblade and getting onto his knees, a hand strokes Technoblade's hair, fingers curling into his hair.

He gets an immediate sense of dread, body tensing up and his heart picks up, blood roars in his ears. Was he going to be punished? Was he too bold?

"Techie... where did you get that blood?"

He felt like having a panic attack, his fingers tingling and his eyes glistening. He feels his veins move, they become cold, washing over him. He's drowning.

What does he say? He can't say Schlatt to _Wilbur_ of all people.

"I... I- uh..." He feels like he was seconds away from fainting, the lightheadedness heavy in his limbs, "I met a hybrid in town and brought some off them..."

Wilbur is silent, looking away at the walls. Technoblade's breath remains lodged in his throat as he prays Wilbur believes him.

"Technoblade, do you remember when we were young and I had to take care of Philza?"

Technoblade stutters and looks up at him, dread and fear washing over him. "Y-yeah, why?"

Wilbur pulls him into a light hug, ruffling his hair before standing up and walking to the door, "you're acting like he was, so many excuses and so many fibs. You don't trust me anymore, do you?"

"I-I trust you! I'm telling the truth Wilbur!" Guilt was all he felt, he knows what Wilbur was talking about. When Philza covered up for him, when he lied for him. "I don't want to be specific because you could be at risk if you met them, they're- uh- dangerous."

Wilbur hums to himself, hand pausing on the door handle, his hair falls in front of his face, blocking his expression from Technoblade, "Techie... I..."

"Wilbur? What's wrong?" He shuffles up and leans against the wall, hand going to rub against his neck as his eyes stay locked on Wilbur. He was nervy about the way Wilbur was acting, it was as if his personality switched. That never meant good news for him.

"Techie, do you feel guilty for what you do?"

Technoblade pauses, was Wilbur talking about what he did to Philza? Or Tubbo? Or did he mean the others he ended up murdering when he loses control, "I do, I feel guilty every day, sometimes it gets overwhelming."

"How do you deal with guilt then?"

"I... honestly I don't deal with it well. Why are you asking this? Is something bothering you?"

Wilbur sighs and his free hand tightens into a fist. "I don't know anymore, but regardless I have to push forward, right?"

Technoblade was confused why Wilbur was confiding this in him, or why he was seeking validation. What was he going to do? Technoblade shudders and remembers what Schlatt said, what he implied. The question was on the tip of his tongue, 'did you send that girl after me?' but it stays glued inside.

Why was he so scared of someone he cared for so much? Technoblade wants to bash the thoughts from his head, he wants to forget, or go back in time.

"Y-yeah. Life is about pushing forward."

Wilbur scoffs and leaves, the door left wide open.


	32. Chapter 31

|||Dream POV|||

Dream stands in the kitchen, hands shaking as they hover over the charred potatoes on the tray. The stench is overwhelming, a disgusting scent of burnt vegetables stinging his nose.

All Dream had wanted to do was make breakfast for Technoblade before he woke up, he didn’t even know why he attempted to do that in the first place. From all his experience he always cooks over an open flame, he had assumed that it would be as simple as that but he was proved wrong.

As he struggles to properly cook the potatoes he hears shuffling behind him and sighs, of course he had to get interrupted, he could always blame this mess on someone else.

He turns around expecting to see Wilbur or Tommy, but instead he makes eye contact with Technoblade, who quietly takes a seat at the bench.

Technoblade’s hair is in tangled curls, cascading down his slumped shoulders like rushing water. His crimson eyes flash up to stare at him, glistening with unidentifiable emotions. Dream wishes he could wipe away the eyebags tainting his pale skin, like soot was smeared under his eyes.

“Are you feeling better now, _Tec_ -Pinkie?” Dream keeps forgetting to use his nickname, stumbling over his words to correct himself.

“I feel… empty I guess, good- yeah I feel good.” Dream has to double take, noticing a small smile curving on the pinkette’s lips. It was a soft smile, light like a feather.

“That’s good.” He stammers and tries to look away, feeling his face flush. He hasn’t seen Technoblade so happy and carefree since he showed him his face, it made his stomach feel fuzzy.

“What are you doing? I smelled something burning and thought Tommy was here.”

Dream looks back at the burned potatoes before looking back at Technoblade, “yeah, seems like Tommy burned a batch of potatoes, I was just about to clean it.”

Technoblade hums to himself and leans further into the chair, resting his chin on the surface of the table, “I'm sure he'll learn how to cook better eventually, it's not that hard."

Dream fakes out a scoff, "yeah, if he keeps burning these I might have to cook for us!"

Technoblade glances up with a raised eyebrow, "so I’ve been noticing just how long you’ve been hanging around here, do you have a house somewhere or are you homeless?”

Dream freezes, feeling all the blood in his body halt. He couldn’t let Technoblade know where he lived, or could he? After all Dream knew where he lived, and if the pinkette really did want to hurt him he would’ve by now.

“I’m not homeless, but right now I can’t tell you where I live.”

“Seems a tad bit hypocritical but sure,” Technoblade sighs and leans back in his chair, eyes glued to the ceiling, “are you sure you aren’t just covering up the fact that you’re homeless?”

Dream splutters and raises his voice, “I-I’m not homeless! I do have a house!”

Technoblade laughs, Dream adores the way his eyes glisten with giddiness. He stops after a while of surprised teasing and sighs, “I’m sure Wilbur wouldn’t care if you kept crashing here- but I’ll ask for you.”

“No it’s fine… I like where I live despite the memories,” Dream picks up the tray and lets the burnt food slide into the bin. "But I could always stay over for a bit more- Wilbur's been pretty out of it and having someone sane here might move things along quicker."

Then Technoblade chuckles. A light sound that causes Dream to pinch himself, just to check if he was dreaming. "I guess we're all pretty out of it, but Wilbur's been acting different- more _human_ I guess."

"That so?" Dream could hardly tell the difference, though Wilbur hasn’t talked to him much recently. All he hears is snippets of their conversations, and from what he’s been hearing Wilbur was just as apathetic as before.

Technoblade ponders for a moment, eyes lost in happy memories, "yeah, I’m starting to see the brighter side of things. I- I think maybe I could turn everything around. That I could fix my family.”

"Oh, I see." Dream takes a seat across from Technoblade, eyeing the pinkette softly, "do you think things will get better between you two?"

"I hope so, but-" his smile fades, "but I think he's just lost in his own head, it's made him act completely different. It's like he's no longer the old brother I knew."

Dream reaches out to hold his hand, earning a surprised glance from the pinkette.

"Don't stress about that too much, whatever happens happens and you can't change that."

"Thank you Dream, this means a lot to me, seriously." Technoblade squeezes his hand and smiles, the atmosphere between them is bubbly, causing butterflies to swarm in his stomach. Maybe he would be willing to help Technoblade, even if Wilbur was a lost cause he adored the happiness Technoblade had.

They get interrupted as Technoblade’s eyes drift to a nearby clock, eyes widening in shock and panic as he pulls his hand away from Dream’s and stands up. Dream watches with confusion as he swiftly walks over to the door.

Dream can’t help his curiosity, but he plays it off causally so he doesn’t come off as clingy, “aren’t you supposed to be resting? Why are you heading out?”

“I need to go somewhere,” Technoblade’s answer is curt, not giving him any information as he sweeps his cloak over his shoulders, the fur nestling against his neck.

“You don’t seem to be in a good condition to go out-”

“This is important, plus I'm fine, really.” Technoblade turns around and tries to smile as he runs his fingers through his hair in an attempt to sooth it out.

“Where are you going?”

“Uh, I’m- I’m going into town?” Technoblade sounds uncertain with himself, causing Dream to feel more suspicion build up in his chest. 

Why would he need to go out? All Dream could think of was the worst, and then he remembers the vial, he remembers Technoblade’s mood and suddenly everything pieces itself together. “If this is about the hybrid blood- it’s a bad idea for you to get more.”

“It’s… It’s not about-”

“Don’t lie to me, please Pinkie-”

“No it’s not! This is a good idea, I’m sure of it. I’m sick of this, Dream! I’m sick of being stuck with this stupid voice, I’m so sick of making everyone I care about be scared of me!” Technoblade snaps, eyes darting from Dream and back to the floor, his voice quickly dies down and soon he’s whispering, “I’m sick of hurting my family… neither of them deserve this.”

Dream feels speechless, he didn’t expect Technoblade to snap at him like that. He doesn’t know how to respond, so he just stands there awkwardly and watches as Technoblade’s frown grows, his eyebrows furrowing as he tries to calm down.

“You’re just being used, Schlatt is going to use this against you, it’s just how he works.”

Technoblade utters a scoff. “Yeah yeah, I hear that a lot, from you and Wilbur. But Wilbur isn't exactly in the right state of mind right now-" Technoblade stops himself, sighing, “I’m a terrible brother, Wilbur doesn’t deserve me to doubt him.”

Dream couldn’t decide if he wanted to slap or hug Technoblade, he wanted to snap him out of this misery he had built for himself. This illusion that everything was his fault, that Wilbur was flawless. Because Wilbur was just as bad as him in terms of sanity, he’s heard of the way Technoblade’s brother talks about him. How he tries to paint the picture of Technoblade being a ‘tool’.

Dream gives Technoblade one last look before sighing, “you’re just going to be hurt again, I don’t know how much you trust me, but I know Schlatt, he’s going to turn this into a way to use you.”

Technoblade doesn’t respond, hand glued to the doorknob.

“I- this isn't about my wellbeing, if this gives me self control- if I can protect my family then it doesn’t matter.” Technoblade rips his shoulder away from Dream, opening the door.

Dream sighs. "Even if Wilbur isn't in the right state of mind-"

"It's not just Wilbur!" Technoblade snaps, "it's also _Tommy_ \- _Tubbo_. I traumatized a kid! I'm hurting my family- I **did** hurt my family."

“That wasn’t your fault-”

“It was Dream! And let’s just say it wasn't, if I don’t take this opportunity to make myself more stable for everyone then it will be my fault. So I’m sorry Dream but I need to do this, thank you for being concerned.”

He leaves and slams the door shut, leaving Dream alone.

|||Philza POV|||

Philza stifles an irritated sigh as he walks through yet another town, all his surroundings becoming mundane and repetitive. His eyes drift up to look at the hanging lamps, a dim glow being cast onto the cobblestone streets. Despite the night bringing light showers of cold rain and dark clouds, the town bustles with life. He can hear laughing and shouting from nearby pubs and taverns.

Those would be his best bets to ask for directions, so he breathes in and rustles his wing, opening the door and entering with an aura of confidence. He’d done this before he could do this again. 

The tavern is a rustling noise bank, people loud in their fights, conversations and drinking. Philza tries to find someone sober to ask for directions, wanting to get out of the tavern before the stench sticks to his clothes. The rapid moving and colours nauseate Philza, it reminds him of when he would fly over towns like these.

To his dismay everyone seems to be wasted and downing mug after mug of beer, it appears no one here would be able to give me a coherent answer.

Another waste of time, Philza knew he was getting closer but there was always the risk of passing by 'Lmanberg' without even realizing. So he turns to leave when someone catches his eye.

A boy in the corner of the tavern, despite his tall stature Philza could immediately tell it was a kid. He raises an eyebrow and turns to walk towards them, only just then noticing their strange features. He has dual coloured hair, splitting off in the middle and being braided behind his ears. His skin was more than enough evidence to call him a hybrid.

The boy looks up with a startled gasp as Philza pulls the chair out and sits down across from him, wing curling on itself so he could lean back more comfortably.

“What're you doing here?” Philza strikes up conversation with the hybrid boy, watching as he flinches and his posture shrinks down even more.

“I- I’m old enough to be here-”

“I know you’re a kid, you’re lucky the others don’t know. Now why are you here?”

The kid’s eyes are blown wide, he pulls his legs onto his chair so he can rest his chin on them, “I…" he sighs, giving up on his lie. "It started raining so I hid in here. I-I’ll leave when it stops I promise!”

Philza frowns, “but it’s not raining though.”

The kid is quick to blush from embarrassment, stammering and trying to cover the redness creeping up his neck, “o-oh! I see? It’s loud in here so I must’ve- I didn’t hear it stop… sorry...”

Philza chuckles, this kid heavily reminds him of Technoblade, how he was quick to get flustered and apologise.”It’s fine, why were you hiding from the rain?”

“Well I’m… uh- I’m an enderman hybrid so- the rain is uncomfortable to be in.” That explains the green eye and black tanned skin, but the dusty white of his other skin raises more questions, ones that Philza doesn’t ask out of respect.

“I see, well where are you headed at this time? Surely you have a house you could’ve gone back to.”

The kid shuffles in his chair, looking away, “I- I don’t want to talk about that right now.”

“My apologies,” Philza is hit with an idea, one that he doesn’t know if he’ll regret or not, “if you don’t have anywhere to go you could always come with me.”

He must be a magnet to lost hybrid kids like Technoblade.

His eyes shot up and glistened with surprise as well as hope, “w-wait, really?! Wouldn’t I be a bother?”

“No no it’s not the first time I’ve taken in a hybrid kid such as yourself. In fact I could use some help and you seem strong in your stature.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m headed to my son’s nation, he stopped sending me letters so I’m worried,” Philza keeps the smile on his face despite wanting to frown. Tommy always made sure to keep him up to date on what was happening, but recently the letters stopped coming through. He knew Tommy enough to know something bad must’ve happened.

“Sure! I mean- yes, sure. I’ll come along and help in any way I can!” The hybrid beams with happiness as Philza smiles and stands up, holding out his hand to help the kid up. It was mostly true, although he could manage the journey by himself, help was always appreciated.

The kid’s glance drifts down to his wing, confusion sweeping over his features. “Why do you only have one wing?”

The hybrid quickly realises how inconsiderate he sounded, mumbling out apologies and hiding his face under his hands. Philza feels the smile fade from his mouth, but he keeps the positive act up. It was always a foul reminder of when he failed as a parent, and continued to fail afterwards.

“That was an unfortunate accident, but it was no one else’s fault.”


	33. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are mild mentions of suicidal thoughts in this chapter near the end, love you all and don't forget to stay safe <3

|||Wilbur POV|||

"So all I'm hearing is this chit chat about the Blood God, but none of you ever tell me what it is specifically." Wilbur leans back against the brick wall, arms crossed as his eyes dart between the three people in front of him. They lean against an alleyway close to Wilbur's selected house, all he needed now was to lure them inside.

He had gotten into contact with more people from the cult, but this time he would deal with them _himself_. As far as he was concerned they were just trouble for him and his family, an issue that needed to be _fixed_.

Why was he even bothering to do this? Maybe it was the fact that the cult puts his family in danger, or maybe it was because he tries to blame them for everything. After all it was because they screwed Technoblade over that he ended up hurting Philza.

 _You're just sliding the blame onto someone else._ Was he?

Wilbur's mind is a mess of opposing thoughts, they clash for control everyday and leave him feeling like two different people.The actions he seeks to feed the hunger for control leave him broken with guilt the next day. But it was a cycle he didn't want to break, after all this was the only way he could feel in control, and he didn't plan on letting himself stop now. He shouldn't be feeling guilty, so why does be feel like he's suffocating?

"The Blood God is hard to explain," the middle girl speaks up, glancing towards Wilbur with a frown, her blue eyes narrow as she glares at him, "we found it in the darkest place in known existence, it's real origins are unknown."

Wilbur bites back a scoff, he could never get a straight answer out of these people. "I see, alright then. But why would you give it a body? And why Technoblade of all people?"

"Hybrids are special with their minds, I'm not sure if you know this but they have two separate consciousnesses, of course the hybrid side is always dormant, it just lingers with side effects."

"It took a while of experimentation but we learned that piglin's have a natural bloodlust." The girl shuffles closer, a wide grin spreading on her face, "we tried piglins but it never seemed to work, so that's when we moved onto the next best solution- hybrids."

"I see." Wilbur was still confused as to why they needed to give the Blood God a form, or in this case Technoblade's mind. But he didn't want to come off as hesitant, even if he thought it was all stupid the last thing he wanted to do was tic off these maniacs.

"Can't you just create a new body then? Why seek out my brother?"

"Well you see, the Blood God is one of a kind, we only have one of it in this world. So what's in his mind is the only connection we have to it."

"Yeah, we need the vessel back, and what's stopping us from torturing it out of you?" A man to his left joins in their conversation, a disgustingly smug smirk on his face as he eyes Wilbur up with foul eyes. He could feel the malice radiating off the freak.

Wilbur hums, these people seemed smarter than the last girl, more of an _issue_ , he needed these freaks gone, **dead**.

"Why would I agree to that? For all I know you'll just kill me anyway." He fidgets with his hands, keeping his breathing steady to calm his heart. He wants to check if the crossbow was still there, but if he did he might reveal it to the others.

The man takes a step closer, eye twitching with annoyance. Wilbur mentally laughs at it, he had hoped his attitude would piss them off sooner or later. But at the same time he was playing a dangerous game, one that would result in dire consequences if he lost.

_It would be karma's work though, wouldn't it?_

"We'll kill you either way, so how about you stop the pain like a smart little bitch."

Wilbur leans in closer, a grin tugging at his lips, "what happens after I die, huh? You've seen Technoblade when he's desperate, when he massacred your little _fan club._ What do you think he'll do when his _brother_ is killed?"

The man pauses, registering his words.

"I can help you get to him, I know where he is right now- and all I'll say is he's close. But I need you to cooperate with me. This way I don't need to die, you don't have to deal with an enraged 'Blood God', and we can have a peaceful deal."

"How do we know you won't betray us?"

"Because if I do I'll have nowhere to go, and then you'll kill me I assume." Wilbur's tone is light despite the heavy words. Not that he was scared with the concept of dying, he had already accepted the fact that he was going to die in the near future. Though his heart does hammer at the thought of being tortured, not something he wants.

Especially from these freaks, he knows first-hand what they can do.

The trio remain silent for a moment, before collectively nodding to each other. He stops himself from sighing in relief, he needs to keep the brave act up.

"Fine, we'll accept your terms."

Wilbur has to stop himself from laughing, they've all doomed themselves without even knowing it. There was no way he was letting them get even close to his brother. "Good, now I need you to follow my instructions. I've already gotten Technoblade to a location near here. I told him that you already knew where we were originally."

They share surprised glances, doubt in their features.

"Oh c'mon. It's not a trap, you really think I could kill all you three?" In most circumstances he wouldn't be able to kill them all, but this was different. He had a fool-proof plan. "Plus I want to get rid of him as much as you want to catch him."

That seems to convince them, sick bastards had too much pride in what they did. Wilbur would have fun with this.

The walk there is quick and dark, the night casting shadows over them like camouflage. The footsteps on gravel are the only noises in the town, everyone else fast asleep. That was going to change really soon.

"So what do you plan on doing with him when you have him back?" It was a pointless question but he needed to appear engaged.

"We'll test the Blood God's influence on him, then afterwards it's classified to you." The annoyed man from earlier speaks up, his tone causes a shiver to go down Wilbur's spine. He despises being talked down to, it makes him feel disgusting, _worthless._ He needed to be the strong one.

Wilbur hums again, low and drawled, "what if I joined you? From what I've seen, the Blood God is a powerful entity."

They cast curious looks, "the vessel's brother wants to join us?" The question was more directed at themselves than at Wilbur.

 _Vessel's brother?_ That was a new term for him, "I mean it's not that important–"

"Oh it is, the Blood God's influence can reach out to certain people, _especially_ if you grew up near him." The quieter one at the back snickers, and Wilbur feels his blood run cold. "I bet he's already influenced you in ways you wouldn't be able to understand."

Were they just messing with him? Was he being affected? There was no doubt they were just crazy, he didn't have a voice in his head, he didn't get any urges. The Blood God was just something in Technoblade's head, there was no way it could reach him.

They were just crazy.

"We're here," Wilbur whispers and looks back at them, they were outside the same house he had led the girl to. Where he had tricked the both of them.

The memory has a bitter taste in his mouth now, the thrill of power he had with Techie had worn off quite quickly, like alcohol. But it was addicting, there were other ways he had tried to feel in control but it never quite worked. Wilbur's hand goes to brush against his arm. His pain _never_ works, it just makes him feel _weak_ , pathetic. **Useless**.

They enter the house, immediately seeing the blood and getting excited. It was a pathetic sight, they really thought they were going to get their hands on Technoblade.

Wilbur reaches under his trenchcoat, fingers curling around the polished wood. He had preloaded the crossbow before even coming to the meeting. And due to his brother's cleverness he had the proper equipment to take them all out simultaneously. Fireworks, _seriously_ , why hadn't he thought of that?

Wilbur hears loud shouts and he knows they found the girl's body. He quickly pulls the crossbow out as he sees them turn around the hallway to stare at him.

He lets out a despicable laugh, savouring the fearful glances. Specifically the guy that had taunted and threatened him, made him feel **disgusting.** He had no remorse, they ruined everything, they ruined his family. It was because of them that his family was in pieces.

This was just _karma_.

Wilbur pulls the trigger, watching as the darkness morphs into bright colours, momentarily blinding him. Gunpowder fills the air and floods his lungs, he doubles over and coughs, tears pricking his eyes. Light bounces off the walls in colourful blasts, leaving charred marks in the wood. He hears shrill screaming but the ringing in his ears muffles everything around him.

Lights start to flick on in nearby houses so he dashes away, hand squeezing the crossbow.

He doesn't know how far he runs, but his feet sting, his hands tremble as reality creeps back in. The adrenaline and rush of power quickly fading.

The forest surrounds everywhere Wilbur looks, he smiles in satisfaction and starts laughing. It worked! He didn't fail or mess up, he got the revenge he was seeking. It quickly morphs into crazed sobbing as he collapses, hugging himself tightly to stop himself from falling apart.

"I did it Dad- I did it! I'm avenging our family one bastard at a time- I... I'm..."

Would Philza be proud of him?

"Dad, please be proud of me– I'm fixing everything!"

_Has Philza ever been proud of you?_

"No no no no I'm not." Wilbur wasn't fixing anything, he was destroying his family even more. He recalls Technoblade crying- why was he? Technoblade wasn't his brother- he was a weapon, a tool. Why was Wilbur feeling like this? Why why _why_ **why**?

"I-it was never a family to begin with, Wilbur! Don't feel guilty for this! They all mean nothing to you!"

 _Stop crying_.

The tears won't stop pouring out, it burns him, the emotions scorch his mind like acid. He wants to scrape the tainted skin from his face.

His eyes flick to the crossbow, his sobbing eventually dying down to silent but heavy breathing. Why was everything so damn difficult?

He'd never be able to fix anything, so it doesn't matter if he ruins it even more. Once the vase breaks it belongs in the trash, Wilbur faintly chuckles at the memory.

"You've done nothing wrong, Wilbur. It's fine, you're fine. Everything will be fine."

One pull of a trigger and he could go to hell, maybe hell was a better place than here.

The thoughts are draining, his arms go slack against his sides, he can't bring himself to stand up. Even if he wanted to kill himself he couldn't yet, he still had a _symphony_ to finish.

"Don't feel guilty, don't feel guilty Wilbur- everything's fine, it's the way it should be."

It's not fine. He wants everything to return to normal, Wilbur glances up at the towering trees, swaying noiselessly in wind. His eyes feel heavy, the grass underneath him suddenly feeling more comfortable by the minute.

He could almost imagine he was a kid again. When everything was so colourful and noisy. Wilbur lowly chuckles and falls back onto the ground, feeling all consciousness drain from his body. The grass tickles his neck and forearms but he doesn't attempt to move. He could always just fall asleep here, it didn't matter.


	34. Chapter 33

|||Technoblade POV|||

He still had a chance to leave, to abandon this entire idea and pretend it had never occurred. But it didn't feel like he had a choice anymore, his legs won't move away from the building towering in front of him. His eyes linger on the quartz, unable to be torn away. If he left, then eventually when the blood left his system he would have to deal with the voice again. So Technoblade already knows what he has to do, if he can get more blood from Schlatt then it wouldn't be a problem anymore. _He_ wouldn't be a problem anymore.

He fidgets and takes a slow, deep breath. He could do this, he could manage this. Mustering up the courage he begins to shuffle towards the entrance, letting the grand structure sink in. Technoblade's eyes land on someone standing outside, leaning against the wall with arms crossed and tail swishing. The bright orange of hair and ears pop out amongst the white, immediately identifying who it was.

"Hello, Fundy was it?" Technoblade's voice is strained, he tries to come off as nonchalant but he was sure the fox hybrid would be able to sense his distress. His heart beats irregular, his hands are clammy as he grabs his cloak with his palms, trying to stabilize himself.

Fundy looks at him up and down, eyes lingering on his hair, which felt messy compared to the rest of him. Technoblade probably could've put more effort into it but he was desperate to be one step ahead of his voice. He felt the urgency of meeting with Schlatt.

"What business do you have here?" Fundy leans to the side and taps his foot against the ground, eyeing him suspiciously.

"I'm here to talk to Schlatt, he said he would've told you about it already."

"He just said that you were allowed here at any time, but he didn't clarify."

Technoblade feels some comfort at that, at least Schlatt respected his privacy. "So where is he?"

Fundy grumbles and leads him inside the building, Technoblade's mouth almost gapes at the luxurious inside, he wasn't one for fancy buildings but this was just overwhelming. Wide, gray walls of wallpaper drape down to a rich green carpet, lush enough that if he was peering at it from a distance he might mistake it for grass.

He is led down a maze of corridors until Fundy stops at a large spruce door, ushering Technoblade inside. It stops just before it hits the wall, soundlessly bouncing before closing again. Technoblade slips inside the room and watches as Fundy pulls it shut, the room growing considerably darker.

His eyes quickly scan his surroundings, taking in tall bookshelves stacked with countless rows of books. Technoblade wasn't sure if Schlatt was much of a reader himself but Technoblade loved to indulge in them, to learn more and develop his knowledge gave him a sense of purpose in his life, however small that was.

He quickly turns to stare at the ram when he hears him clear his throat, he sits in the center of the room behind a desk with a warm smile on his face, chin resting on his hands. The entire room was seemed to be built around the work desk, making it stand out with its polished wood.

"Take a seat, let's talk since you did come all the way here." Schlatt's voice causes an invisible shudder to go through his body, the tension in his limbs was almost unbearable but he still manages to drag himself over to the chair placed across from him.

"So how are you? Did you end up drinking the blood?" Schlatt opens the conversation first, tucking the folders he was working on in a drawer under the desk.

"I'm fine, and yeah I did... it worked, though I guess that wasn't a surprise."

Schlatt's eyes light up, sparkling with satisfaction, he loosely claps his hands together and laughs. "Oh I'm so glad it worked! That means the bloodthirst and whatever else is going on stopped, right?"

"Well yeah but I... I need a top-up, you mentioned that I could come back if I needed to." Technoblade shuffles in the chair, fidgeting with his fingers as he looks away.

"Oh of course, but-" Schlatt stops and chuckles to himself, the sound causing him to freeze, "–I have some requirements from your end."

"B-but you said-!"

"I said that I could change it and that you were free to back out if I did." Schlatt watches intently as Technoblade frowns, the anxiety coiling in his stomach like a snake. He hates the way he's being observed, he wants to shrink and dissolve. He didn't know what to do, it was true he could back out but he needed this hybrid blood.

"What do you want?" The suspicion is evident in his voice as he lightly glares at the ram across from him.

Schlatt chuckles lightheartedly, leaning up and shuffling under the desk. Technoblade hears clinking and his ears flick up in suspense.

What he didn't expect was a bottle to be pulled out, "have you ever drunk alcohol before?"

All the fear dissipates and he is left bewildered, "no I haven't..."

"I insist you have your first drink with me then! I was joking about the vial. I'll give you one for free." Schlatt pops open the cap and slides it over to Technoblade, whose eyebrows furrow at the motion.

"Joking? So I don't have to do anything?"

Schlatt frowns, opening another bottle for himself. "I mean if you're a buzzkill then sure, but I thought you'd want to loosen up while you have the chance."

Should he give himself a break? That's what he was after, right? He was after peace and quiet from the deafening mind he shares, maybe he just wanted to let the emptiness continue.

He hesitantly grabs the bottle and raises it to his lips, breathing in the cold smoke rising from inside. It's a bitter scent, but it intrigues him enough to take a cautious sip. Technoblade immediately coughs, raising a hand to his mouth to stop it from dribbling.

He hears laughing from across the table and he flushes from embarrassment.

"Don't worry pretty much everyone has that reaction to their first beer." Schlatt takes a sip from his own and tilts his chair to the side, resting his feet on the desk.

Technoblade takes a deep breath before taking another sip, this time more prepared. It burns his throat but he is able to swallow it, feeling the bitter taint his tongue. His gums sting from where glass had cut them, in hindsight, it was a stupid move and he was lucky he didn't swallow any of it.

"There we go! I knew you had it in ya." Schlatt sounds strangely proud of him.

They sit in more silence, Technoblade finally managing to get through the bottle. His head begins to feel fuzzy, as if cotton was being stuffed inside his skull. He doesn't even realise what was happening until Schlatt tuts at him, he looks up, seeing another bottle placed in his direction.

"Shall we talk about something more important?" Schlatt questions and he nods along, feeling his face flush with heat. His leg bounces on a nervous habit, trying to get a grip.

"Sure." His own voice feels miles away, he can hear a pop and he sees the bottle being opened for him. Technoblade mumbles out a quick thank you before grabbing it from his hand, the condensation sticking to his already sweating palms.

"So how have things been with you and Wilbur? Things seemed tense last I saw him with you."

Technoblade ponders on if he should say anything, but he didn't see why not. It wasn't like Schlatt was trying to do anything, he was nonchalantly sipping at his own drink. "It's been complicated, I- I'm finding it hard to be near him, but I still care about him, I still want to _help_ him."

"Help him? That seems like a bad idea considering what he's done." Schlatt raises an eyebrow and Technoblade hums in thought.

"I... it's hard to explain- I- I love him, he's my brother. But I can't..." Technoblade struggles to put it into words.

What did he think of Wilbur? He thought many things. He was scared of him, Technoblade couldn't stop flinching around. But he still cared about him, he didn't know why. Maybe it was because he remembers Wilbur when he was young, when he was happy. Or maybe it was those small tidbits of kindness that seeped through his walls.

Tommy had also changed, but Technoblade didn't blame either of them for what happened. He fondly remembers what Philza would tell _him_ whenever the guilt kept him up at night, or when he wanted it to end all together.

 _'Guilt is a sign of a good heart, guilt means there is still light, even if you can't see it.'_ Technoblade was sure under all those layers was someone just as scared as him or even Tommy.

Technoblade didn't have to _forgive_ Wilbur, but he didn't have to _hurt_ him either.

"He's probably just pretending, he's a good liar."

"He's not lying! I grew up with him for so many years, for almost most of my childhood- I- I know him."

"You know what he _used_ to be."

Technoblade can't respond without getting angrier, so he looks down and takes another sip from his bottle. He was getting irrational without meaning to. Luckily Schlatt seems to pick up on the fact that it was a sensitive topic for him, going to move the conversation along.

"Anyway, I've been curious about this... I know piglin hybrids have some sort of bloodthirsty in their instincts, but there's more to your head than just that, right? I mean I've never met one of your kind that physically _can't_ control themselves." Schlatt seems relaxed, so Technoblade tries to copy his actions, he feels the limbs on his body go slack as he tilts back in the chair.

Should he answer that? Technoblade doesn't spend long thinking about it before the words spill from his mouth, "Yeah there's something else in here, I guess you could say it feeds off the bloodlust."

His throat is on fire, his surroundings blurring as the words slur out. Schlatt stands up and walks over to his side of the desk, a hand on his shoulder. It feels like ice against his burning skin, he looks up to see the ram hybrid smiling at him.

"You should be more prideful in yourself, Techno." Schlatt sounds sincere, it tugs at his heart.

"Now let me grab the vials from our fridge then you can be on your way." He pulls away and Technoblade stumbles after him, leaving the empty bottles behind him.

"Schlatt, why are you being so nice to me, 'm don't understand it." He hopes Schlatt understands him, and it seems like he does when he turns around to face Technoblade.

"I care about your wellbeing, not just physically but mentally _and_ emotionally. I want you to be able to heal and loosen up a bit, live a little carefree." The hand returns on his shoulder and pulls him into a hug. Technoblade wants to hug back but his eyes just drift to the floor.

He feels safe here with Schlatt, similar to the way he feels with Dream. But he was scared to trust the ram hybrid, he was scared of being used again. Technoblade was sick of being scared, but it never leaves. As if his fear was just a shadow, always hiding behind him.

 _'Schlatt is going to use this against you_ ' that's what Dream said, was he right? Those words burn themselves into his mind, Technoblade wants to forget them the same way he forgets Schlatt's words about Wilbur, but he can't.

"I'm... scared." He doesn't know why he admitted that, he tries to answer it but his mind doesn't keep up with his mouth. His thoughts pour out without any proper thinking.

Schlatt chuckles and pulls away, entering the room they were in front of and returning with another pouch. Technoblade grabs it and checks, seeing that it has two vials. What he didn't properly notice though was how the vials were smaller, containing less blood.

"Thank you, I appreciate this,"

"I know you do, but-" Schlatt grabs his hand, effectively grabbing his attention. "-but could you do something for me?" Schlatt's eyes pierce him, he ponders for a moment before nodding.

"Sure, I can try." Technoblade didn't want to fully promise anything before not knowning what it was.

Schlatt laughs, a short but low sound, "could you tell Wilbur that I want to meet up with him? I think we could sort some things out."

"R-really?!" Technoblade stammers out before the hope is quickly replaced with suspicion, "but why _now_? You didn't want to before-"

"I've changed my mind, and I haven't heard much from Wilbur, which means he's planning something." Schlatt shrugs and glances away, eyes lax and pout close to forming on his lips, "I worry for my nation's safety, they mean a lot to me."

Technoblade shudders as he remembers what he overheard with him and Dream, _'enough to obliterate it all'_ Wilbur had said that a while ago, before the festival even, but there was no reason to believe he had given that idea up. In fact, Technoblade knew just how desperate his brother could get.

"I'll... I'll tell him." Technoblade musters up the courage to shake Schlatt's hand, before turning to leave, stumbling in his step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woahhh two updates back to back? Yeah I plan on being dark for maybe three or four days so I posted this one early. Since I have stuff I need to catch up on.
> 
> Anyway, do you think Technoblade is being too hopeful? Or do you think he could be able to help mend things with his family.


	35. Chapter 34

|||Technoblade POV|||

He returns with a heavy heart and an empty mind. The ticket to his happiness tucked tightly away in a pocket. 

Assuming the blood leaves his system sometime tomorrow then he would have four days at least until he would have to go back to Schlatt. Though Technoblade might end up going back before that, a part of him felt safe around Schlatt despite the anxiety. Maybe it was because of the confidence he gave off, or the sincerity.

He almost trips over several times on his way back to the base, his feet moving slower than he would want them to. They cuff against the soil and leave marks as he drags himself home. The forest feels different, maybe because of the moving shapes or maybe because of the dancing spots in his eyes. Technoblade hasn’t felt like this before, he wonders if it was the alcohol, how did Philza deal with this?

He fondly remembers when Philza would drink, he would hum and sing, sometimes tripping over nothing. It was funny then but now Technoblade feels sympathy, understanding now what it really feels like. It wasn’t pleasant.

As he gets closer he notices someone outside, he immediately is put on guard, hand reaching for his axe. Though once he recognises the silhouette as Dream he goes lax.

“What are you doing out this late?” Technoblade mumbles and yawns, looking at the sky. It looked about midnight, stars very visible but being blocked by the swaying trees towering over them. Looking upwards so fast makes him stumble, almost falling over.

“Well I was waiting for you, I was wondering if you… uh.” Dream trails off and looks away with a nervous gaze, Technoblade raises an eyebrow at the uncharacteristic action.

“Would you want to come with me? I want to show you something.” Dream finishes off with a sigh, and Technoblade shrugs.

There was no harm in going somewhere with Dream, he had already practically proven himself to be trustworthy. Technoblade runs a hand through his hair, feeling the knots pull at his head. He must look like an absolute mess right now.

“Sure, lead the way then, Dreamie.” Technoblade giggles at his own nickname.

Dream turns around at lightning speed, “Dreamie?!”

“You always call me Pinkie so I might as well give you a nickname,” Technoblade loves the way Dream appears flustered, mumbling and looking away. The mood quickly fades away to nothing as they begin to walk, Technoblade a few steps behind Dream as he leads the way.

Technoblade doesn’t know where they are going, the forest all merges together to the same boring vegetation. He hasn't gone out in this direction before, so he’s blindly following Dream further and further into the forest. It’s at this point he notices how the trees and bushes get denser, and the air gets darker.

He’s about to ask Dream where they were when the forest suddenly pulls back to a small clearing. Technoblade peers around to see a house in the corner of the clearing, covered with heavy vines and moss that cling to the bricks. Dream grabs his hand and pulls him towards the little building, making sure to be careful where they stepped. 

Technoblade notices the bear traps and charred grass around them, scarring the soil beyond repair.

“Where are we?”

Dream doesn’t respond for a moment, instead opening the door and ushering Technoblade inside. Once he is inside he is hit with a stench of ash and grass, he looks around to survey his surroundings.

“This is my house,” Dream states and walks further inside, but Technoblade takes his time looking around.

It looks quite run down, vines hanging off the ceiling and sprouting flower buds. Damp moss clings to the walls and creeps down to the wooden floor, which was cracking and creaking with every footstep.

Tehcnoblade walks up to a nearby couch, touching knife punctures and a dark dried substance he could assume was blood. The furniture itself is covered with a layer of dust, parts of it appearing to glimmer from the moonlight filtering through cracks in the wall. 

“This way,” Dream grabs his hand again and Technoblade feels a strange warm feeling coil around in his stomach, like butterflies. 

Dream leads him to a ladder, which they use to get on the roof. From there he gets Technoblade to look up at the sky, and so he does.

From here he can see the sky, body relaxing at the sight. Stars litter the sky like sugar, peppering the empty nothingness with tiny glistening crystals. The sky bleeds off into a deep blue from where the sun had set, as vivid and churning as an ocean.

“I… I haven’t really looked at the sky like this before,” Technoblade feels the hand on his own tight, he turns around to see Dream taking off his mask, turning to give him a warm smile. That same feeling returns, he didn’t know if it was the drinks or the way Dream’s eyes pierce his like shining jades.

“I come here a lot, I used to sit up here with my mum.” Dream turns to look back at the sky, “I miss those times, but I thought I’d show you.”

Technoblade can understand him, he also missed the easier times in his life. When he would visit the waterfall with his family, when Tommy didn’t hate him, when Wilbur was stable. When _Philza_ wasn’t crippled because of him.

“Yeah… this is beautiful.” 

Dream chuckles, eyes reflecting the stars as he lips part, “yeah, you are.”

Technoblade doesn’t realise what he said, in fact, Dream was the first to realise. His face lights up with a shade of red as his head snaps away. Technoblade also feels a blush creeping up his neck, scorching his ears like flames.

“D-dream?”

“Forget I said that, please…” he mumbles and rubs the back of his neck with his hand.

Technoblade doesn’t understand this feeling in his chest, it aches. It feels like he’s drowning, but unlike most other times he feels overwhelmed the water is warm around him. It feels like falling into a gentle sleep, he welcomes the feeling, letting himself sink down further.

He starts giggling, bubbles escape his lips and into the water around him. It’s warm, he’s warm and happy. “Sure whatever you want, Dreamie.”

“Techno- stop that!”

“M’using my real name…” Technoblade feels sleepiness tug at his vision, he hugs himself lightly and continues to watch the stars, “I’m sorry I’m sorry I- for everything, you don’t deserve this…”

Tears are streaming down his cheeks, why? They feel flushed and hot. Technoblade goes to rub them but before he can lift a hand Dream pulls him into a hug.

“Don’t be sorry, Techno, it’s all worth it if I can help you.”

Technoblade sniffles, he doesn’t know why his emotions were flipping so dramatically. Maybe it was the bottles he was given by Schlatt. Either way it felt nice to finally be able to open up.

"I want... to help them all. I know I can't but- but I'm responsible so I have to at least _try!"_

 _"_ But you don't have to try alone."


	36. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mmmmmm angst. So much angst it's an ocean!

|||Tommy POV|||

Tommy knows something’s off the moment he wakes up on his own accord. Tubbo is sound asleep next to him, chest rising and falling in slow and steady movements. 

Tommy shuffles out of bed and stands up, footsteps abnormally loud in the strangely silent room. Maybe he just woke up early?

He walks out into the hallway, closing the door gently behind him. His bare feet chill against the stone as he peers into the passing rooms, the pitter patter of his footsteps echo all around him. Even from here he can see the sunlight seeping underneath the front door, and he is filled with even more confusion.

Where was Wilbur? Normally he was woken up by his older brother in the mornings, one of the only habits his strange brother had kept after their exilement.

“Wilbur?” Tommy calls out his name, the sounds of his feet getting louder as he paces throughout the entire place, but he still couldn’t find him anywhere.

After getting no response he starts to panic, goosebumps littering his skin. He doesn’t realise how loud he was being until Tubbo shuffles into the room, rubbing his eyes and smothering a yawn.

“What are you doing?”

“I can’t find Wilbur! He would’ve told me if he was going out for this long! He always does!” Tommy raises his voice and feels it crack under the pressure, he goes to leave the house when Tubbo follows. Tommy looks back confused but Tubbo just gives him a faint smile.

“I’ll help you, you don’t need to search for him alone.”

”I- thank you Tubbo… Now let’s go!” Tommy grabs him by the hand and pulls Tubbo after him, who stumbles to catch up.

The sun has only just begun to rise in the sky, melting the blackness of the sky into warm oranges and yellows. The colours of the sky never quite blending together, as if it was just layers of wax. It was a rather lovely sight but Tommy’s thoughts were clouded with anxiety. 

He doesn’t know where to go, maybe the nearby town was the best bet. He couldn’t think of any other places that Wilbur would go late out at night. So he walks until the familiar gravel path appears in view.

With the pace they are taking it doesn’t take long for them to reach the town, but what he doesn’t expect is the crowds of people hanging around the outskirts of the town.

Tommy stumbles past, hand still grabbing Tubbo’s.

“What’s happening? Why is everyone out here?” Tubbo asks Tommy but he can’t answer, the timing leads him to think that this could link to Wilbur’s disappearance, which scares him. Mustering up the courage he looks for the less threarening person, he taps them on the shoulder.

“What’s going on here?” Tomy tries to put up a brave and polite voice but it's unusually high pitched for himself, he mentally curses himself.

The person turns around to stare at him, dull brown eyes piercing his. The man unnerves him and Tommy considers leaving, but before he does they speak up.

“There were three murders, ‘pparently they used explosives 'n such.” The man stares back, “I saw it, y'know? They were following a man in a trenchcoat. And from the way they were dressed I’d place bets that they were from the _cult_.”

“C-cult, huh?” Tommy feels his body go cold. There was a possibility he was referring to _that_ cult, the one the his brother came from.

“They’ve been more vocal, nearby disappearances and dead animals. I know those bloody bastards when I hear them!” The man seems to be getting angrier, Tommy backs up and drags Tubbo away, who stumbles a few steps behind.

“I- that was Wilbur he was talking about right?” Tubbo whispers his question and Tommy absentmindedly nods.

“Yeah… I- He might’ve got lost on the way home, maybe we should look around the nearby treeline.” Tommy suggests and Tubbo nods, he faintly smiles in response.

They pick a direction and search, but to their dismay they find nothing. Regardless of every direction they went in they found absolutely nothing.

Just fields and fields of trees, the quiet waves of branches and the gentle falling of leaves. It was beginning to become hopeless, even if the narrowed down the forest into parts it might take days to find Wilbur- Tommy feels his heart beating in his head, he's on the verge of hyperventilation.

Despite Wilbur acting strange Tommy still loved him dearly. He remembers all the times he stood up for him during their childhood, he remembers looking up to Wilbur as they fought back. Tommy feels lightheaded, as if he was going to collapse-

Until Tubbo yells at Tommy.

“Hey! I think I found something!” Tommy races over to see what Tubbo saw. Patches of grass stained red, the dark liquid seeping into the soil and tainting the field.

They follow the tracks and that's when they finally see him, Wilbur is slumped up against a nearby tree, head hung low and arms limp on the ground.

"Is he...? I‐I can see his chest moving!" Tubbo exclaims and sighs, trembling as he's hugging himself and looking away. 

Nearby Tommy notices a crossbow. The light charred marks on the wood alerts him, it reminds Tommy of when Tubbo was almost… He picks it up and rubs the soot away before Tubbo can properly see.

Tommy walks over to Wilbur, placing a hand on his shoulder and shaking him awake.

“...Tommy? W-what are you-” His heart picks up and relief washes over him like a cold wave. 

But when Wilbur looks up the relief dissolves, he looks like an absolute mess. Blood soaks his chest and arms, still damp from whatever had happened.

“Wilbur what happened to you?!”

“ _Hehehe_ …” Wilbur laughs faintly before it devolves into low cackling, “I don’t know myself, Toms! There were so many colours, it was so loud- the smoke was like clouds–”

“Wilbur?” Tommy crouches down to get on eye level, Tubbo follows with hesitancy, “Wilbur I need to you name the date and time-”

“I- that doesn't matter, Toms. The date doesn't matter, what matters is that I've finally figured out the solution!”

Tommy’s eyebrows furrow and he reaches out to place another hand on Wilbur’s shoulder, he’s cold. So so _cold_. “What solution?”

“If I erase everything I don’t have to feel any more of this; I can just blow up L’manberg _right now_! No more stalling or trying to- trying to..."

Tommy couldn't believe his ears, "y-you can’t do that! There are people living there!”

Wilbur frowns and shakes off his hand, trying to get up and falling back down, he grabs his arm and hisses. Tommy looks at him with more concern.

"L'manberg isn't a nation, it's a symbol of _corruption_. I _made_ it, Tommy, I would know. It’s all garbage, it’s all meaningless trash and you won’t convince me otherwise.”

“You might’ve made it but _we_ fought for it together-” did he forget everything they fought for? There was no way he did, those memories were theirs to share together, their accomplishments.

“And look where that got us! Look where life has us right now, Tommy!” Wilbur shuffles up on trembling legs and leans against the tree, another pained groan leaving his lips.

“We can still get it back, I know we can. We have Technoblade and Tubbo- and maybe even Dream!”

“I- I don't _want_ anyone on my side, I’m doing this alone. I gave that up, I'm sure of that: L’manberg, my family, it’s all just useless links to a meaningless world.”

“Wilbur please… Philza wouldn’t want to hear you talking like this.”

“He never does, he never did. He'd probably say how disappointed he is in me- his perfect perception of a _perfect_ older son would be ruined!"

Wilbur raises his hand and laughs to himself, “I didn't need any help! And I still don't. Aren't I the perfect big brother? Can't you just _feel_ the happiness radiating off me?"

“We can help you now.” Tommy looks him dead in the eyes with a new found determination, “w-we can talk it out with him, with _Technoblade!_ I know just how forgiving he is, I'm sure–"

“That's stupid and you know it. I'm not after forgiveness, I need a _conclusion_."

“Wilbur please-! Did you kill those people?”

“They were cult members, they were going to go after us anyway. They were lying- it was all nonsense– I won’t listen to them I won’t” Wilbur grabs Tommy by the shoulders, “do you hear them? I didn’t think so, it’s all just make believe then!”

Tommy shoves him back against the tree, “you're scaring me!”

Wilbur stays silent, head hung low as he raises his trembling hands in front of his face. Tommy looks down in horror at the amount of blood seeping through his sleeve, he goes to grab it but Wilbur snarls, “fuck off, Tommy. I don’t need any help, I don’t need anyone. I have one goal and I will achieve it.”

“Wilbur I’m not going to just fuck off-”

“I’ve been _manipulating_ you, y’know?” Wilbur’s resolve breaks down into a fit of giggles, he grabs his chest as his shoulders tremble from the bubbling laughter. “I’ve been manipulating you and _Technoblade_ , it’s all just been a lie.”

“What did you lie about– W-wilbur?”

“I don’t care about you,” he looks up and glares into Tommy's soul, which freezes over. Tears bubble in Tommy’s eyes, even if it was a crazed Wilbur was talking his words will still hurt him.

“I know you do, you mentioned guilt or whatever before right?” _Be hopeful, you can do this._ “Guilt means you do have feelings, regret, even if they’re faint!”

“Stop talking. I just want to finish things as quickly as possible,” Wilbur grumbles and stumbles forward, trying to walk away, but Tommy grabs him by the arm to try and stop him.

Wilbur cries out in pain and tries to pull away, the action was so sudden that Tommy does let go. He looks down at his hand to see a print of red coating it. 

“Why are you bleeding so much?”

Wilbur just laughs in response, “I was hearing them telling me that stupid lie. I had to find a way to shut them up.” He doesn’t make eye contact.

“What did you do to yourself?” His voice drops to just barely a whisper.

“Everyone’s suffering, it’s beautiful in a way, isn’t it? Can’t we bond over this like good siblings-?”

“Answer the fucking question, _Wilby_!” Tommy shouts out and squeezes his eyes shut, feeling the hot tears burn his cheeks. His heart aches, oh it hurts so much but Tommy can't stop the pain.

Wilbur looks up, “Wilby, huh? Alright then, I stabbed myself in the arm.”

Tommy swears and tightens his hands into fists, "jesus christ… you're fucking everything over Wilbur-" 

"I'm not in the mood for a dramatic rant, I already know that." Wilbur rolls his eyes and looks away, "you really think I care?"

“Wilbur let’s just please go home now-” Tommy wouldn't give up, he was sure with enough convincing he would come. He had to. He _had_ to. Tommy couldn't lose his brother.

“I’m not going home. In fact this is probably the last time you’ll see me, expect to see a _crater_ in a few days.”

Wilbur storms off and once Tommy chases after him his older brother turns around and shoves him over. Tommy hits the ground and yelps, looking up in fear, guilt and betrayal.

He begins to realise that Wilbur might be too far gone, that he might be passing the line of no return.

Even in these final moments Wilbur can’t make eye contact, “heed this caution: I have enough TNT to blow up more than just L'manberg, you'd be surprised what the cult members will give you to try and stay alive.”

"H-how much? Wilby?"

"Take Technoblade and get out of here, it's gonna be a real **_blast_**!"

The tears are cold against his cheeks, he doesn't see his brother anymore. He sees a destructive monster. "We won't leave-"

"Then **die** , Tommy. I don't give a fuck either way."

He walks away. And Tommy begins to lose hope in his family, maybe it just wasn't meant to be. The comforting hand from Tubbo does little to soothe his heart, and soon he's breaking down. 

Tommy weakly pounds his fists against the ground, screaming and sobbing until his emotions ripped at his throat. From a distance he might've been mistook for someone dying.


	37. Chapter 36

|||Philza POV|||

Another similarity between Ranboo and Technoblade were how curious they both were. Despite being quiet Philza could tell his mind was burning with questions. The way he stops to inspect flowers or moss, the way he tries to count every star he sees. Ranboo was always getting sidetracked with the most bizarre of things.

But because of his shyness they'd only had a few conversations, most of their travels spent in an awkward silence. Because of this Philza had nothing to distract himself with, so his mind keeps drifting back to his sons.

Was Tommy okay? He never stopped sending letters before, so why now? His mind aches with the worry, he should’ve been there to help his sons. Philza didn’t know why but he knew that things were horrible over there, it may just be a father’s sense, but whatever it was it plagues his mind.

His feet are numb, the coldness sinking past his shoes and socks, it was times like these that Philza dearly missed being able to fly above everything. He misses the feeling of air rushing through his hair and feathers. He sighs and tilts his head up to check to time, it was about midday for them.

“Hey Ranboo, where do you plan on going after this?” Philza throws a glance at the boy, watching him flinch and grow fidgety. His braided hair falls in front of his face and covers his expression, but Philza can tell he was scared.

“I-I’m not too sure, I just need to get away from there, I wasn’t safe…”

Philza raises an eyebrow, “why weren’t you safe?”

Ranboo squirms under his gaze, almost tripping over himself multiple times, “w-well, uh…” He then looks up with quivering eyes, “promise not to sell me out, _please_.”

Philza puts an arm on his shoulder, using his wing to gently wrap around the back of his neck like a blanket. The least he could do was try to calm Ranboo down.

Thankfully Ranboo does seems to calm down at that, a sigh leaving his lips and he lightly shakes his head, “well I’m kind of on the run right now- I was in a very bad place with very bad people.”

Philza feels his heart lurch, the worst coming to mind. But he clears all the dark thoughts and resumes to walk. “Who are these people? If you feel comfortable answering, of course.”

Ranboo seems like he is going to stay quiet, not responding and eyes sinking to the ground below them. But then moments later he makes brief eye contact with Philza, “I… I guess you could call it a cult, they took in hybrids and tried to experiment on them. They changed a lot inside, it- it’s changed me.”

Philza stops walking, causing Ranboo to look up in confusion. “P...Phil?”

“Are you talking about the cult that worships the Blood God?”

Philza watches as Ranboo’s face turns into one of terror, he starts violently shaking as he hands go to grab his head, “h-how do you-? Oh _god_ \- please don’t hurt me-” He starts whimpering and turns around to run, but Philza tightens his grip on his shoulder.

“Calm down! I’m not a part of them, I’m _against_ them– Ranboo it’s fine, you’re safe.” Philza blurts out everything he can to convince Ranboo he was safe. For the most part it seems to work, he stills, body still shaking as he sobs.

“How do you know them…?” His eyes are wide and fearful.

“My son, he was one of those hybrids you were talking about. Have you heard of Technoblade?”

“Technoblade?! We’re going in the direction of _Technoblade_?!” Ranboo shrieks and tries to pull away, but Philza doesn’t want to let go. He doesn't ’t trust Ranboo being alone, he was not safe out there by himself.

“Yes, now calm down please.”

“You want me to calm down? Those maniacs are _definitely_ where we’re going then! P-plus the Blood God will be there- I don’t want to meet it again.” Ranboo stammers out, stumbling and nearly collapsing. "Please please don't make me- I don't want to be near it- it'll recognise me!"

"What do you mean ‘recognise’? It's inside Technoblade's mind- you'll be safe Ranboo."

"No! You aren't safe near that _thing_! It warps- it changes and infects and-”

What was he talking about? Philza only remembers when Technoblade would tell him of the voice. Besides that he never had ever seen anything else happen. His stomach churns at the thought of it affecting them, but there was no evidence to prove it had. Maybe Ranboo was just being delusional.

“Please elaborate, this is important, Ranboo.”

“Have you touched his blood? _Ever_? In _any_ sort of way?!” Ranboo grabs him by the wrists, his panicked eyes reminding him of another memory. Philza bites his lip to distract himself, he didn’t have time to remember it. Instead he focuses on Ranboo’s question.

“I mean yeah, he sparred a lot with my older son, so they would sometimes come in with scabs. Ranboo what is this about?” Philza was beginning to get worried, was there something bad in Technoblade’s blood? But _he_ had made contact with it before. In fact Philza distinctly remembers when Technoblade would burst through the door with _Wilbur_ , wooden swords dropped at the door as he would lead them into the kitchen to patch them up.

Ranboo chest stills as he lets go of Philza, “y-you have...? Then... it can see me… it can- it’s _watching_ right now-” 

Philza lurches forward and manages to catch Ranboo before he hits the floor, Philza brushes the hair from his face and his heart sinks at the sight. It appeared the boy had fainted, tear stricken cheeks glistening in the quickly dimming light above. 

Philza is left with a sleeping boy in his arms, he sighs in disappointment. Going to pick him up and carry the heavy enderman in his arms. With one last glance at the sky he looks back down, “those bastards, those goddamn bastards.”

|||Technoblade POV|||

Technoblade knows for a fact this is not _his_ bed he woke up on. His eyes open to a vine covered ceiling, sunlight filling the room like a glowing liquid. He leans up and looks around, noticing a torn blanket carefully tucked around him. Despite the wreck of a room at least the mattress was clean.

Technoblade recalls last night and what happened. He feels his cheeks heat up as he quickly shakes the thought away, going to stand up and look around.

To his left there is a desk with a missing chair. He can see splotches of blood coat the inner wood of the desk, so he decides to avoid it. Technoblade could feel the voice coming back, although his mind was silent he did still feel it, like a phantom hand squeezing his brain until it throbbed and ached.

This must be Dream’s room, Technoblade leaves to give him some privacy, also because it wasn’t that interesting of a room; similar to his it only had the important equipment left behind.

The floorboards protest underneath him as he walks into the lounge, seeing no one inside he steps outside cautiously, looking out for any traps that he had seen on the way inside. There he finds Dream, setting up more traps towards the back of the house, Technoblade sighs and yawns.

“Dream? Why’re you setting up more of these damned things?”

Dream looks up and jolts around, noticing Technoblade and relaxing, “to protect this house, I need as much defense as I can.”

Technoblade would push further but he just sighs, letting Dream do his own thing as he looks around, “we should head back soon, I don’t want to leave Tommy alone with Wilbur.”

Wilbur wasn’t safe to be around. He was a danger to himself and others. Technoblade notices Dream get up and walk over to him, mask off and a strained smile on his face.

“Sure, but you need to focus on yourself too, do it for me at least.” The words were simple and polite, but after what occurred last night they feel _more_ meaningful, they feel more loaded with emotion. Technoblade despises the blush that returns and spins around, facing away from Dream. His ears feel on fire as he tries to keep his composure.

“Let’s go then.” He saunters on ahead and Dream has to jog to keep up with him.

Dream ends up leading the rest of the way back home, Technoblade too distracted with his own thoughts to stop tripping over roots and almost running into branches. 

“Hey Dream… I..." Technoblade musters up the courage to blurt the question out, "what do you think of me?”

Dream’s footsteps stutter, he tenses up and looks back towards the direction they were headed in, “I, uh, I respect you a lot. I think you're very strong willed despite everything that's happened.”

The compliment sticks with him, but Technoblade has a feeling there was more to it than that, but he drops it for now, he would ask Dream later.

Eventually they make it back home, and Technoblade gets a dreadful feeling. His ear twitches as he hears talking, no- _yelling_? There’s a faint stench of blood lingering in the air, he immediately panics and pushes past Dream, bolting into the base.

When Technoblade enters he stops to stare at Tommy and Tubbo, his younger brother is hunched over, shoulders shaking as loud wails leave his mouth. Tubbo looks up in panic, quickly calming down as he notices Dream. However when his eyes drift to Technoblade he notices the boy's muscles tense up. He nearly forgot, he had been ready to kill Tubbo.

Technoblade doesn’t have time to feel guilt, he rushes over to Tommy and collapses onto his knees, pulling him into a hug. He hears a gasp but doesn’t let go, slowly patting Tommy on the head to try and soothe his crying.

“What’s wrong?”

Tommy sniffles, his wails quietening down to quick and panicked sobs, “i-it’s Wilbur! He’s- he’s going to destroy _everything_! I’m scared for him and- and-” Tommy hiccups between words, sounding as if he was being suffocated.

“Breathe, Tommy breathe with me.” Technoblade pulls his head to rest against his chest, letting Tommy feel as his chest rises and falls. It seems to work after a while, his noises dying down.

“Wilbur is g-going to destroy L’manberg, I tried to talk him out of it! I really did! But he was talking weird and then he… he said everything was _fake_ and _meaningless_ , that he didn’t love us.” Tommy shakes his head, hair moving with him as his hands curl into Technoblade’s cloak, “he’s lying! I know he’s lying! He has to be- he is, nono he-”

“It’s fine Tommy, remember to breathe.” Despite the calm tone Technoblade felt himself plunge into a cold darkness, his heart beating faster as he properly processes the words, “Tommy what do you mean by destroying?”

“He’s going to blow it up, he’s going to kill us all. He told me to tell you to leave but- I don’t want to abandon him.”

Was it all fake? Technoblade had the sneaking suspension but he never wanted to believe it. For some reason all the fear he had about confronting this fact was gone, instead was a hole of apathy, burying itself into his heart. 

It has far better to ignore his emotions.

“What do you mean talking weird?”

“He was talking about hearing something, that he didn’t believe what the people's voices were telling him." 

Technoblade feels his heart beat faster, his senses abnormally acute to what was happening inside of his body. Before he can spiral down further he feels a hand on his shoulder, he looks up at Dream, who frowns back. But his eyes hold a certain determination.

“Tommy, me and Technoblade need to know everything.”

Tommy gingerly nods, before starting to spill the entire story. How they couldn’t find Wilbur, how they looked and saw people in the town acting weird. Eventually when he finishes Technoblade feels like vomiting, his stomach alit with disgust.

“Wilbur has been murdering people?” Dream lets the question hang heavy in the air. And Technoblade thinks deeply about it.

Wilbur had purposefully gone out of his way to hunt down cult members, threatened explosives from them, then proceeded to slaughter them.

“Dream," Technoblade looks up at him, a scowl on his face, "Those cult members aren't people, they're greedy and disgusting monsters."

He turns back to face his brother, "Tommy what I need to know is where this TNT is.”

Tommy shakes his head, shame on his face, "I-I don’t know, it’s probably where _he_ is right now, but I’m too scared to look for him.”

“Then I’ll help you, we’ll find and stop him together.” Technoblade stands up and pulls Tommy up with him, helping him stand up straight, “we’ll do that because that’s what family is supposed to do. Tommy you’ve been deprived of a good family, for that I am sorry.”

Technoblade could do this, he could be strong for his family and Dream, but before he can continue he feels something murmur inside him. He quickly pushes past them and walks into the hallway, “I’ll be back in a minute.”

He would do this, but he would do his _own_ battles alone. This was far more important. Technoblade reaches into his pocket and pulls out the vial, watching it glisten in the light from the lamp hanging above him. 

“Pinkie what are you doing?”

He spins around to face Dream, who leans against the wall with crossed arms. 

“I’m drinking it, you can’t stop me. I need to do this.” 

Dream sighs and pushes himself off the wall, uncrossing his arms and placing a hand on Technoblade’s shoulder, “I’ll help you deal with the voice, but please don’t do this. Pinkie, Tommy needs you to be strong.”

"This is how I'll be strong," Technoblade feels a sharp stinging in his head but he ignores it, "Th... th..."

The words fall formlessly from his mouth, Technoblade's hands go to grap his throat. But before he can stop it he loses all feeling in his body.

“ **Hel** lo.” Technoblade shudders and grabs his mouth, feeling the foreign words pour out before he can stop them. His limbs begin to tingle, the numbness pricking his skin like needles. He looks up at Dream through fearful eyes, but his sight begin to fall further and further away, until he is surrounded by darkness.

Dream’s voice feels miles away, Technoblade looks down and sees his own hands, the colour quickly draining. Was this a hallucination? Why was he seeing this?

“Pinkie what’s wrong?”

He screams but Dream doesn’t hear him, instead he senses something behind him. He turns around and meets a face full of red. It’s at that point that he begins to understand what’s happening, realization quickly morphing into a dark terror.

“I’m not Techie,” It responds with _his_ voice, and a small, frightful Technoblade turns to stare out it’s eyes.

The voice had taken control over his body.


	38. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When tf did this get so many hits? Thank you all so much 💛

|||Dream POV|||

“Pinkie what’s wrong?” Dream feels unnerved by the sudden mood change in the atmosphere around them, the lantern above them flickers, static filling the silence as he eyes Technoblade nervously. The pinkette appears different, the way his head hangs low, a curtain of hair covering his face. Or the way his fingers twitch around the object in his hand, the vial that he was just about to drink.

His eyes are narrowed, lips peeled back into a wide grin as he glances at the vial in his palm. “I’m not Techie, I just thought I’d say my greetings.”

His voice is stiff, holding a certain untroubled tone, sending shivers climbing up Dream’s spine, ice sinks into his bones that keeps him frozen still. “Who are you then?”

“Techie just refers to me as the voice. But I get called a lot of other things too. I will admit being called ‘The Blood God’ is quite flattering.” The pinkette raises a hand to it's face, inspecting the bandages and smiling.

“Why are you in his body?”

“Long story, boring details. Look, I’m just doing this because I noticed you were going to talk him out of drinking the blood, so I thought _**I’d**_ do it instead.”

This… was the Blood God? His voice and body language don’t give off the same atmosphere, it appears laid back, as if it didn’t have a single worry in the world. In all of Dream’s entire life, he had never felt this much power radiate off one thing. So much so that when his blood-like eyes dart up to stare at Dream he feels as if he’s being picked apart.

“But doesn’t drinking the blood stop you?”

“The bloodthirst isn't mine, and honestly it's rather annoying to deal with, like a dull _drumming_ in your skull.” The pinkette taps his head, grin still wide on his lips, “sure, I may lose my influence over Technoblade but I still have many other people to occupy my time.”

"Who are you referring to-?"

“I can tell Wilbur’s been killing _**my**_ cult members, that monstrosity probably thinks he's helping or something.” It's voice morphs into one of anger and malice, the lantern above flickers once again, "sadly I might have to intervene if he continues to kill them."

Dream didn’t know just how powerful this entity was, but he wasn't going to let it do that. Dream’s heart aches as he imagines just how heartbroken Technoblade would be- if he failed to stop himself from that happening.

Dream knows how badly Technoblade was traumatized from the last time he lost power, almost killing Tubbo and himself included. The weight of killing his brother might be too much for him to bear.

Dream just wanted Technoblade to be happy. No matter how _stupid_ his ambitions were Dream was prepared to jump in with him.

“That’s not happening, as much of an asshole of a brother he is, he’s still got a _lot_ to make up for.” Dream crosses his arms, glaring at the pink haired creature as it walks closer to him, the pure density of power keeps his feet stuck to the ground.

“Oh really? From what I’ve been observing it’s quite likely he will die, unless you think you can intervene?” It’s voice is laced with venom, and Dream has to stop himself from visibly shaking.

“We’ll get him before he sets off the TNT, Technoblade will move past this despite what you believe, you act as though he is weak but the fact that he’s still pushing forward is proof otherwise.”

“Oh yeah, you’d _love_ to live a simple life with Technoblade, right? I can tell how much you adore him, it's interesting to observe. I just hope you know what you’re getting into.” It glances at the vial in it’s hand, pressing down until it cracks. Dream watches with horror as the blood splatters to the floor, pooling in a small, crimson puddle.

“What are you doing?!” Dream lurches forward to grab his hand, but it yanks it’s arm back and skips back a step.

“Schlatt gave him two. This was just to motivate him a bit more." It reaches into Technoblade's pocket and withdraws the last vial, holding it between two fingers and staring through the blood directly at Dream. "Time is short for him, I need to move things along."

"Why can't you just leave him alone? He's suffered so much because of you!' Dream snaps, the anger trembling his voice. It just laughs in response, causing the anger to ignite into hatred.

This thing was why Technoblade had suffered so much.

"It's not like I asked them to put me in here, but I'll make the most of it. After all, I can continue my growth through this."

"You sick fucking-!"

“It was nice talking to you **_Dreamie_** , but I don’t want to waste my time talking to you, and I’m sure you want Pinkie back.” This time it pops open the cap effortlessly, throwing its head back and gulping down all of the blood. Dream watches as Technoblade’s body begins to convulse, twitching before a loud cry leaves his lips.

Dream instinctively dives and grabs him before he hits the floor, holding the pinkette close to him. Refusing to let go and just hugging him under the now brightening lamp above them. The air feels lighter, the presence dissipating into the air.

“You’ll be fine, okay? Just hang in there Pinkie, for me, remember?”

|||Ranboo POV |||

He didn’t expect to wake up in someone’s arms, but when his eyes open he’s met with a face full of feathers. Ranboo hears a heartbeat and realizes he’s resting against Philza’s chest, judging from how slow it was beating Philza hadn’t realised Ranboo had woken up yet.

Ranboo slowly turns his head to stare in front of them, the light pitter patter above them causes him to panic. Was it raining?! Ranboo starts trying to get out of Philza’s grip until he realises he wasn’t being hurt.

“Phil…?”

“You’re safe, don’t worry I won’t let you get hurt.” Philza’s voice is warm and soothing, it’s not something he was used to. He finally notices the wing above them, curled just above his body to prevent the water from touching them. The feathers look so soft, light gray peppered with black and white spots. Ranboo instinctively reaches out a hand to touch them when Philza tuts at him.

“Don’t do that, they’re- _it's_ sensitive and I might accidentally move your cover.” Ranboo nods and relaxes, watching the water drip down from the umbrella-like wing.

“Why aren’t you covering yourself too?” Philza’s hair and clothes seem soaked, but his weary smile still holds a warmth to it. 

“There wasn’t enough room, plus according to the merchant we’re almost at another town, so I'll just deal with it.” 

Ranboo feels guilty, this was the man he had tried to run away from. After some consideration he realises that Philza really wasn’t out to get him, that he was safe.

“I’m sorry for trying to run away, I was just scared…”

Philza chuckles, “it’s fine, though I would like it if you explained why you were so scared.”

Ranboo inhales deeply, feeling his throat close up from the growing dread. “W-well I don’t really remember much of what I was saying.”

The older just laughs, “it’s fine, you were talking about Technoblade’s blood.”

Ranboo nods and looks at the forest around them, it’s drained of colour from the rainstorm above them. Gray clouds blocking out the sun and leaving the world doused in a light mist.

“I… I heard them talking about it once. The Blood God isn’t just some entity stuck in Technoblade’s mind, it's got a presence, and some sort of body… _somewhere_ , I was never allowed to see it's body. But I knew it was always watching"

“What do you mean always watching?”

“It doesn’t need physical eyes, i-it uh- looks through other people’s eyes. Phil I don't want to talk about it right now. _Please_.” Ranboo feels Philza stiffen underneath him, hands shaking as they hold Ranboo up. Ranboo realises that he must be tired from holding him up.

“Phil let me walk.” He’s gently placed onto the ground, the wing staying above his head to stop the rain from hitting him. Ranboo hisses through clenched teeth as his feet burn, he hadn’t been able to get his hands on any shoes so the cold water stings his skin.

Philza only nods, a grim look on his face. Ranboo feels as though he is thinking deeply, so he just observes as they continue to walk. Eventually the puddles on the ground start reflecting light and he looks up excitedly, seeing a nearby town in the distance.

“We’ll drop by quickly, maybe ask for more directions.” Philza grabs Ranboo by the hand and walks faster, and he stumbles after him. The town looks pretty with all the hanging lamps, the orange light making the rain almost glow in the dullness. 

Despite what Ranboo had to deal with, he loved the rain. He remembers sitting in his old room, peering out through the bars and watching as it would fall down. It was a luxury to see nature outside move so peacefully as he was stuck in that hellhole. 

As they walk into the town the dirt turns into mud, then finally cobblestone. The streets seem never ending, people rustling around them without a word. Though they do get many stares, mostly directed at Philza. Ranboo wonders if he gets asked about his wing often, or if he just deals with the stares.

One part of the town is taped off with white painted ropes, Ranboo’s curiosity gets the better of him and he peers past the small group of people outside it. They were standing outside a rather destroyed house, burn marks littering the wood, the door ripped off its hinges, and a disgusting stench of smoke and blood.

Looks like a murder happened there. Ranboo shrinks towards Philza, shoulders hunching over as he grabs onto his arm tighter.

“I don’t understand why people would kill one another, I just- I just can’t.” Ranboo mutters and looks away.

Surprisingly Philza doesn’t nod along, “I do, there are _many_ reasons to kill someone.”

His tone scares Ranboo, so he looks away and tries to take his mind off of it. “S-so who do we ask?”

Philza stops in his tracks, and Ranboo stumbles to stop himself from leaving from under the wing. He looks up at Philza to see him wearing an expression of shock, his eyes wide and his hand going to cover his mouth.

“Phil? What’s wrong?!” 

Ranboo follows his gaze and it lands on a short boy, almost around his age, with short brown hair and deep blue eyes. The boy also seems shocked, staring back at Philza and beginning to walk over to him slowly. 

“Tubbo? What...” Philza finally manages to croak out and the boy in question breaks down into tears.

It appears they made it.


End file.
